Hi everyone my story is long and complex, and i'm kinda not in the mood to write it down yet but i probably will at a later time. anyways i just wanted to post i'm 9 days clean so far......by admitting once and for all i'm an addict, installing a filter on my work computer where most of my falls happened, and most importantly concentrating on today and only today! 

Ok take it easy - welcome to gye and I hope to hear and share more!

Welcome. It should be with hatzlocha. when you are ready post some more........

Welcome!!

You mentioned you put a filter on your work computer, if you have other devices that are not filtered I would recommend filtering them as well. On a personal level after filtering my laptop I just used other devices, until I finally got everything filtered. 

Hatzlacha 

Hi everyone i'm back with 10 clean days that is double digits   anyways i started going to a therapist hopefully that will help me deal with all my problem which include anxiety, depression, and addiction to masturbation and slowly but surely became the healthy individual i'm meant to be. in regards to my full story i'm too depressed to write it up now but i will hopefully one day. sorry for keeping you guys in suspense! #WEWILLDOITONEDAYATATIME!

Here is what i figured out by now, (after 3 years of failing) even if you put a filter on the entire worlds computer's we will still fall the only way to achieve true sobriety is by doing all the pieces in the puzzle, don't get me wrong filters are extremely important and yes we need them but it's only one piece in a big puzzle. i keep on seeing people write how they are on GYE's, installed filters but they keep falling and the reason is because just posting on GYE and installing filters are great things but there are a lot more pieces to complete the sobriety puzzle!

bear wrote on 04 Jan 2018 03:52:

Here is what i figured out by now, (after 3 years of failing) even if you put a filter on the entire worlds computer's we will still fall the only way to achieve true sobriety is by doing all the pieces in the puzzle, don't get me wrong filters are extremely important and yes we need them but it's only one piece in a big puzzle. i keep on seeing people write how they are on GYE's, installed filters but they keep falling and the reason is because just posting on GYE and installing filters are great things but there are a lot more pieces to complete the sobriety puzzle!

The following excerpt from the Big Book comes to mind. It should by no means imply that one should not have a filter. Please use your own seichel (although I generally advise again that for myself) that although there may be legitimate reasons to be around alcohol there are rarely legitimate reasons to be around porn. A person should be able to go about their life like a normal person though. Notice the point that our perspective becomes one of how we can be of service to others. 

Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so. We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem. In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, ... parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t. You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such  places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Welcome Mr powerful!
So far your story is similar to mine (although I'm still waiting for the bombshell to come... as well as for better moods...)
I like your posts, please keep on posting.
Thanks for coming here!

Ok my friends here is my story a long time ago there was a little boy named yankel! He was a good boy maybe a tad to wild, socially he was very popular and had a lot of friends. In high school is when all the trouble started you see during that year i found a radio channel that talked about sex all the time and since nobody really explained sex to me i started listening in the beggining out of curiosity but then i kinda got hooked to listening to it. at the same time yankel was considered the shpitz in yeshiva a reputation he fought so hard to keep, so he was leading a double life which made life so stressful for him... ....anyways that's the beggining of my story stay tuned for part 2. Love u all yankele! 

hi everyone who is ready for part 2? so here we go: this little boy named yankele had a very rough beginning to high school publicly he was considered mr shpitz but he was leading a double life. he ended up getting into a fight with the other mr shpitz in the class and pretty much turned the class into 2 teams which just added to his stress. and even though deep inside of him he was a destroyed and drained person he had to show to the world that he is mr powerful and he fought very hard to keep his title! but the stress and emotions had to come out somewhere so if publicly yankele had to portray himself as Mr Perfect it came out at home where the situation got very stressful with his parent's, (plus it didn't help that his father had a car accident that year where the guy ended up dying and a lawsuit that followed which also emotionally drained his father and which he tried hiding from his smart son). so now he is leading a triple life at home fighting to pretty awful levels (enough that my parent's called the police on me 4 times), publicly he was mr perfect (working pretty hard to hide everything that was going on and to hide from all his emotions) and privately listening to this radio show........that's part 2 part 3 will follow stay tuned!

anyways in regards to my recovery here is an update i'm 11 days clean  here are the steps i have taken so far 1. installed filters 2. started using GYE 3. Started going to therapy to deal with my past and get a handle of my situation (now i have gone to therapists before who did CBT i found that CBT is helpful but not too impressed with it. this new therapists recommended a therapy called brainspotting as anyone used it? have you found success with it? Please let me know! 4. yesterday i started talking to a fellow GYE's member and keeping in touch which i found helpful (thank's for your time!) 5 .and last but not least Concentrating on ODAAT Good Shabbos
LOVE YANKEL!

Awesome Trucking

KOP!!!!!

Iampowerless

Welcome (sorry for the delayed welcome) thanks for sharing and KOMTNMW

Markz you think you can post a link to Bards story the name yankel rang a bell!!

hello and welcome iampowerlessyankel
you sound like one hellofaguy