unmarried wrote on 24 Nov 2017 19:03:

Thanks for that.

It provides opportunity again for me to stress somethin' which needs to be emphasized. There are pajama bloggers, and then there are a group of us who know each other well. We have met outside of these ludicrous forums, threads and posts. We have actually seen each others faces. We have been by simchos of each other. We drink coffee together. We sit on park benches and discuss openly our life situations. We speak to each other on the phone. We know all about each other.

So, as a matter of fact, we (those who practice this) are not anonymous. Our opinions need to stand up in real life, not only in the pjblogosphere. And therefore, I am dismissive of any fellow who asserts that he spoke to the world's smartest therapist, or the velt's biggest gadol, or a specialist who specializes in making others special. It means absolutely nothin' to me. Why? Because they still have their flannels on.

B'hatzlachah to all

unmarried wrote on 24 Nov 2017 19:33:

Keep us posted!
You're doomed with lust until then?

Welcome Unmarried. I agree, if some of the single guys who are sober would share their experience strength and hope it would be more helpful to you.  The raw fact as shared by the experiences of 100's of people is that marriage didn't help and often made things worse. The important thing though is that many single men and many married men have found recovery. Maybe some if the single guys can pipe in and share. I know of some on Duvid Chaim's call and if you called in and shared I'm sure they would share back. 

Welcome dear friend 
Your pain and loneliness is apparent in your posts and I hope you can find peace soon
I do not want to get involved with the debate but would like to share something from this week

This week was our 4th anniversary and obviously we were together. This Friday night when I went to learn my wife told me to wake her when I come home. When I came home, not at a late time, she was sleeping so I read something in bed for a little she woke up and I could see she was very tired and asked her straight to the point. She said she feels bad she is so tired so I told her that she does not need to feel bad as she is pregnant with our 3rd b"h and twice in 48 hours in such conditions is crazy......

My point is that When I got married I was "starving" yet my wife wasn't filling me up
Now that I have come here and talked to singles and marrieds I have come to understand that beggin pushin and whatever doesn't help what helps is being a good person/husband and get filled like that the other thing is icing on the cake at best nothing more 

So my humble opinion thru my experience is that marriage is more of a stumbling block than a help especially if one thinks it is the solution 

Whatever you do it should be with Hatzlacha

Hashem Help Me wrote on 24 Nov 2017 18:03:

Shlomo is not really active here anymore but may hve some t'chias hamaisim if someone calls/emails him....

Gevura awoke me from the dead for this thread.

Unmarried: You're clearly suffering a lot and in pain. It must be really hard to be in the situation that you are. 
I am 22 years old, so I don't have the life experiences that you have, but one thing I know is that single people can recover from lust. I am sober for over a year and I am single. I also have friends who are single and sober.
You can check out my thread (in my signature) for more info and you can contact me with the methods given. I respond. 

I hope you find what you are looking for.

P.S: If you don't trust an anonymous forum, then why join in the first place? Sounds a little confusing to me.

Shlomo, thank you for your reappearance, and thank you Gevura for arranging it. Mayan your post hit the nail on the head. Unmarried, most of us here looking back to when we started our recovery process see ourselves in your shoes. We did not believe it could be done. I had times I was acting out a few times a day. I simply did not believe I could ever escape. But as Cordnoy wrote about himself, I also started speaking to people and actually met some of them too and started to see flesh and blood success stories. If you are willing to work you can make it too. By the way, people get better without speaking - some prefer to only chat, email etc. Hatzlocha.