Its my job to share my experience on what worked for me and his job to take full responsibility for his own sobriety and recovery. 

hi atc. good to see that you are still with us. Torah is the "initial" antidote for the yetzer horah. chazal say that it may not work and then one should say shema when the yetzer horah attacks him. if that doesnt work he should remind himself of death. r' yonasan eibeshtz in yaaros devash drush 1 explains that each antidote is for a different cause. if the sin was caused by "chemdah" (which he says is a nisayon more often found in chachomim- scholars!) then the only antidote is remembering the day of death where no pleasure comes along with you. there are many explanations but perhaps in gye we can understand this to mean that its not just a yetzer horah. rather it is an addiction which completely takes over our sanity and life. we must remind ourselves that this is death! we are now here in this world to live. if we are totally controlled by lust, we are good as dead. therefore we must do all it takes to live!! please get help fast before you get so sunken in that it will need something as powerful as techiyas hameisim to revive you. hatzlachah on your journey to recovery.

hashiveinu wrote on 26 Jul 2017 19:11:

sorry to get a drop off topic. baruch hashem this web site has a strong automated editor for bad words you have to write eibesh*tz or eibeschitz
note to mods can this be fixed?
i couldn't figure out this post for a while

Haha not exactly singularity26 brother! It says the way you want to go, they will take you there. It's that simple. If you want that lifestyle, you'll get it. The problem is is they I made the choice to go with women and have that fun and lifestyle. It's not worth it though trust me. Leaving yeshiva after learning and meeting a woman has the adrenaline rush but after and even during, it's meaningless. I sometimes take a day off from my phone and try to introspect, and I would like to believe that I can get out of this taavah anytime and I try to prove it by going off my phone. But after the day I stmtsrt thinking about the wonderful time I will have with a girl, and I go back to the phone and messaging them. The fear I have from speaking to someone is tremendous. It puts my reputation on the line and future shidduch prospects as well on the line. The people on here who have been supportive of me creates a willingness and continued desire to change myself because I see so many helping hands. I appreciate the support, but it's not enough because I'm still falling. At the same time, I don't know much about addiction and I don't feel the need for sex always. I'm simply a Baal taavah and if I get the sex, then I get it. If not, I don't feel the crazy need to go and seek it out. It's more of the need to adventure or feeling to do something wrong that drives me. 

We have the choice to choose our friends

Facebook etc etc

I assure you that joining the group here in real life can absolutely substitute the other friends that are not necessarily the best choice

Your honesty is appreciated!

When you mention your reputation being tainted are you concerned that the person you confide in will not keep it private? Whoever you are choosing to speak with should be someone who you respect and is well trusted. Of course it is scary to think that he may talk to others and reveal your dirty secret to them. However, there are people out there who can be trusted with such sensitive information and they will know what to do with it.

Good luck in finding someone who can help and we hope to hear great things from you moving forward.

You are afraid that you will damage your reputation and your future shidduch prospects.  I fear that you will get married and destroy your wife, kids, and marriage.  Stop playing around and GET HELP!  You underestimate the damage that can be done if you do not get help.  As Rabbi Twerski famously said "marriage is not a hospital" SEE HERE: http://www.guardureyes.com/gue/rtwerski/startDating.asp

Stop living in a fantasy world that you are basically ok, you just need to get married.  There is no reason to beleive that your behavior will change once you get married.  Take care of it BEFORE you get married.  It's worth it my friend.  Your life, and the life of your future family, depends on it.

you say that you are simply a baal taava and it seems like you think you might not be addicted. you dont seek out the sex when you dont get it. does that mean it comes to your door without you seeking them out through your app? in your own words you say that aftr one day of being off the phone you start to think of the wonderful time you will have with a girl, and then you text them, even though you know that after and during it is meaningless. it is obvious that your body needs that adrenaline rush which is the definition of addiction. 
im not trying to knock you or attack you but you seem to need help getting past that initial fear and denial of the fact that you need help. trust me, just like almost every pondsi schemer ends up getting caught when he gets too deep in, so does anyone doing the things you are doing. it just gets worse and then you get busted by someone you know. 
please please go for help. talk to a rebbi join a group.. you are not the first and wont be the last. you can trust them. i have  a friend who was attracted to men and in yeshivah tried to pull down my pants by force. i told our rebbi and my rebbi got him the help he needed and eventually helped him find a very choshive shidduch. he is now happily married for almost 10 years.
if you read the posts most people who got caught, was caught through acting out, not caught through gye or their rebbi or sa group.

It sounds like what everyone is saying is that we have a nice Yeshiva Bochur who is acting out with real women on a dating app. It's dangerous, risky, and definitely father than your plain vanilla internet addict. 

So, my friend, with many addicts, past and present, here on the board who've lived the destruction of addiction, we're encouraging you to get help. You're welcome here regardless, but what do you think? I know one of the biggest reasons I had a hard time quitting is that I thought I couldn't survive without it, or actually, I enjoyed it and DIDN'T WANT TO. Which is ok for now if you're honest about it. 

So do you not want to stop? 

Just disclaimer, this is all with no judgement. I don't know you and haven't walked in your shoes so I can't say how it could, would, should be. 

I didn't read your post that you want to start dating. but i'll tel you where i stand today. ithought marriage would help i thought i was better than what i've heard about etc. today i'm married. to the best of my knowledge my wife doesn't know of my problem. i lie to my wife like it's going out of style. i feel terrible about it.
what i would've should've could've done speak to either a therapist or an ex-addict before i got married now it's too late but if i can save another yid it might've been worthwhile
i'm not saying you're addicted i don't know but a therapist or someone with years of experience should be able to help

hi atc. we didnt hear fro you in a while. i was just wondering how you were doing and how your journey to sobriety is coming along.

Hello Chevrah, I haven't logged in here for a while. I'm still in yeshiva and my friend put a internet block on my phone so I don't have access to safari to log in here. I got it unblocked for a few minutes now. Thank you for all the
wonderful advice, I have been thinking more and more about going to see someone. I have been continuing to see women the past few months and I've developed a sort of disensitivity towards sex and it's true beauty. I look at it as something I fulfill and do without any lasting pleasure. I cut down to one dating app and I also gave my phone to my roommate for two weeks at one point and I was really learning well thankfully. He gave my phone back for the weekend and I started messaging the women again and meeting some. I'd say it's more of something like sex once every two or theee weeks now. I know I need to see a therapist, I just don't know of anyone trustworthy enough of this secret. Any suggestions on who do go see or call? 

Brother it's good you're taking the word of your friends on the forum

I think eyes.guard@gmail.com has contacts with therapist if you need, and my experience with Therapists is that they are trustworthy

No need to be ashamed
Tell the therapist you have had sexual encounters and need help. He won't ask you for their names

You gonna be back in 6 months?
How about an update in a day or 2

Do you have a Rebbi you can trust

Theres a small chance opening up to a warm Rebbi may get one sent away from the yeshiva. It's a small price to pay in my little opinion, and a worthwhile investment - if you are looking for one

Attempt to change wrote on 25 Dec 2017 17:50:

If you trusted those women with the guy below your belt, why wouldn't you trust a woman with the guy above your shoulders?