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MY PATH TO SANITY
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Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: MY PATH TO SANITY 41942 Views

MY PATH TO SANITY 23 Apr 2017 17:35 #311190

  • lionking
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Hi Everyone,
I have just registered as a new user since I wanted to really start a new leaf. I have been in and out of GYE for the past 5 years. For the most part I've been a lurker with approximately 70-80 posts in that timeframe. I feel like I can use a new identity which hopefully can inspire a real change within me.
I really don't need any standard introduction packages which are usually sent to newcomers, since I've been here browsing through the forums for years. Before I share my story, I would like to thank a bunch of members for their inspiration and especially cordnoy for his honest down to earth posts which are a great inspiration to all of us.
First a little background about me, I aspire to be a Chassidishe Yingerman in actions and spirit not only in affiliation. I'm currently happily married with kids for close to a decade. I have been introduced to sex and porn when I was a small child of about 10-11 by some classmates. Being that I never had a close personal relationship with anyone, I never shared this with anyone. I was too scared to open up to my Parents about it. I became accustomed (addicted?) to masturbating and occasionally looking at porn. I must end this post now, this is too much sharing for one sitting. I'm afraid if I keep going I'll press the cancel button instead of submit. I will try to keep posting and truckin'.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com
Last Edit: 30 Apr 2017 20:48 by lionking.

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 18:21 #311194

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Welcome back. 
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 18:22 #311195

  • Markz
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lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 17:35:
Hi Everyone,
I have just registered as a new user since I wanted to really start a new leaf. I have been in and out of GYE for the past 5 years. For the most part I've been a lurker with approximately 70-80 posts in that timeframe. I feel like I can use a new identity which hopefully can inspire a real change within me.
I really don't need any standard introduction packages which are usually sent to newcomers, since I've been here browsing through the forums for years. Before I share my story, I would like to thank a bunch of members for their inspiration and especially cordnoy for his honest down to earth posts which are a great inspiration to all of us.
First a little background about me, I aspire to be a Chassidishe Yingerman in actions and spirit not only in affiliation. I'm currently happily married with kids for close to a decade. I have been introduced to sex and porn when I was a small child of about 10-11 by some classmates. Being that I never had a close personal relationship with anyone, I never shared this with anyone. I was too scared to open up to my Parents about it. I became accustomed (addicted?) to masturbating and occasionally looking at porn. I must end this post now, this is too much sharing for one sitting. I'm afraid if I keep going I'll press the cancel button instead of submit. I will try to keep posting and truckin'.

Lionking - this quote is to override your delete button ;-)

If your name is anything to do with movies, you may want to join the sefira thread

On a separate note, how's your non-sexual relationship with lionqueen
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Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 18:28 #311200

  • lionking
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OK, deep breath. Nothing happened to me after posting that real first post. I'm B"H still alive. No lightning struck, etc... Thanks Cordnoy, Markz & Gevura for (silently) acknowledging my presence. I've posted on both of your threads in the past and look up to both of you. You are both amazing! 
After a lot of introspection, I feel that I use porn, masturbation, and sex (PMS) as my drug of choice to escape from life's stresses. I need to learn to deal with stress, disappointments, and feeling inadequate. I need to reach my rock bottom to finally stop this rut I'm stuck in. I hope to finally be able to start living. The last few days was an extreme downward spiral. This should hopefully be an ירידה לצורך עליה
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com
Last Edit: 23 Apr 2017 18:37 by lionking. Reason: Markz wasn't silent, and missed gevura

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 18:52 #311202

  • lionking
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Markz wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:22:
Lionking - this quote is to override your delete button ;-)


Thanks for the lesson that everything gets recorded for posterity.
Markz wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:22:
If your name is anything to do with movies, you may want to join the sefira thread

Actually my username is a play on my real name.  I only recently started watching movies. I've signed up to the sefira group. Please see below.
lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:42:
I don't want to ruin the group's count. As per Markz's suggestion I'm joining this group. I'm committing myself from today till the end of Sefira to not watch any Movies, TV shows, GOT (especially not the short cut out scenes found on the internet...

Markz wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:22:
On a separate note, how's your non-sexual relationship with lionqueen

Very good. I'll leave that for a separate post.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 18:54 #311203

  • lionking
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:
Welcome back. 

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 19:15 #311204

  • cordnoy
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lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:
Welcome back. 

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...

Hey!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 19:48 #311207

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:
Welcome back. 

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...

T'wasn't me, unless you mean under your old name. But I gave you one now
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 20:04 #311208

  • GrowStrong
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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 19:48:

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:
Welcome back. 

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...

T'wasn't me, unless you mean under your old name. But I gave you one now

Me seven

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 21:26 #311218

  • lionking
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cordnoy wrote on 23 Apr 2017 19:15:

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:
Welcome back. 

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...

Hey!

Cords sorry. I remember once reading about a year ago of a fellow who gave a karma to anyone that started a thread introducing themselves. I thought it was Gevura, but I was wrong. Perhaps Markz can find the post of that fellow?
Thanks everyone for their support and Karma's. (I really don't need this virtual Karma. I prefer the real thing. Or if it needs to remain virtual, then I'll gladly accept bitcoins. Is there any Gemach I can donate them to?)
I hope to keep on posting tomorrow and get to know you all a little better.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 23 Apr 2017 22:34 #311220

  • Markz
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lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 21:26:

cordnoy wrote on 23 Apr 2017 19:15:

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:
Welcome back. 

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...

Hey!

Cords sorry. I remember once reading about a year ago of a fellow who gave a karma to anyone that started a thread introducing themselves. I thought it was Gevura, but I was wrong. Perhaps Markz can find the post of that fellow?
Thanks everyone for their support and Karma's. (I really don't need this virtual Karma. I prefer the real thing. Or if it needs to remain virtual, then I'll gladly accept bitcoins. Is there any Gemach I can donate them to?)
I hope to keep on posting tomorrow and get to know you all a little better.

I don't think people (or myself) gave you a karma for the introduction

Rather it's a welcome back hug, especially because you got high on the bandwagon (like my bandy truck)

KOB!!
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 24 Apr 2017 00:59 #311226

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Sing has it in his sig. 
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 24 Apr 2017 10:55 #311247

  • lionking
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Today is Day 1. I'm starting my count on yesod shbeguvra. I really need to accept the fact that there is a higher power pulling the strings. I need to realize that Hashem is with me even when I fall and I wouldn't have been able to do anything without Hashem's help. (ANYTHING means ANYTHING, including porn and masturbation, even if that is so against his will.) I have to try not to disappoint Hashem. He expects better from me. 
p.s. Isn't it interesting that the yesod of gevura which represents the strongest din is equal to the count of 13, the 13 Middos of Rachmim. I think it comes to show us that true din is really chesed for us.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 24 Apr 2017 12:19 #311255

  • tzomah
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also echod =13

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: OUT OF THE SHADOWS 24 Apr 2017 19:28 #311298

  • gibbor120
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