Hi Everyone,
I have just registered as a new user since I wanted to really start a new leaf. I have been in and out of GYE for the past 5 years. For the most part I've been a lurker with approximately 70-80 posts in that timeframe. I feel like I can use a new identity which hopefully can inspire a real change within me.
I really don't need any standard introduction packages which are usually sent to newcomers, since I've been here browsing through the forums for years. Before I share my story, I would like to thank a bunch of members for their inspiration and especially cordnoy for his honest down to earth posts which are a great inspiration to all of us.
First a little background about me, I aspire to be a Chassidishe Yingerman in actions and spirit not only in affiliation. I'm currently happily married with kids for close to a decade. I have been introduced to sex and porn when I was a small child of about 10-11 by some classmates. Being that I never had a close personal relationship with anyone, I never shared this with anyone. I was too scared to open up to my Parents about it. I became accustomed (addicted?) to masturbating and occasionally looking at porn. I must end this post now, this is too much sharing for one sitting. I'm afraid if I keep going I'll press the cancel button instead of submit. I will try to keep posting and truckin'.

Welcome back. 

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 17:35:

Lionking - this quote is to override your delete button ;-)

If your name is anything to do with movies, you may want to join the sefira thread

On a separate note, how's your non-sexual relationship with lionqueen

OK, deep breath. Nothing happened to me after posting that real first post. I'm B"H still alive. No lightning struck, etc... Thanks Cordnoy, Markz & Gevura for (silently) acknowledging my presence. I've posted on both of your threads in the past and look up to both of you. You are both amazing! 
After a lot of introspection, I feel that I use porn, masturbation, and sex (PMS) as my drug of choice to escape from life's stresses. I need to learn to deal with stress, disappointments, and feeling inadequate. I need to reach my rock bottom to finally stop this rut I'm stuck in. I hope to finally be able to start living. The last few days was an extreme downward spiral. This should hopefully be an ירידה לצורך עליה

Markz wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:22:


Thanks for the lesson that everything gets recorded for posterity.
Markz wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:22:

Actually my username is a play on my real name.  I only recently started watching movies. I've signed up to the sefira group. Please see below.
lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:42:

Markz wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:22:

Very good. I'll leave that for a separate post.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:21:

Thanks, and thank you for my first karma...

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

Hey!

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 18:54:

T'wasn't me, unless you mean under your old name. But I gave you one now

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 23 Apr 2017 19:48:

Me seven

cordnoy wrote on 23 Apr 2017 19:15:

Cords sorry. I remember once reading about a year ago of a fellow who gave a karma to anyone that started a thread introducing themselves. I thought it was Gevura, but I was wrong. Perhaps Markz can find the post of that fellow?
Thanks everyone for their support and Karma's. (I really don't need this virtual Karma. I prefer the real thing. Or if it needs to remain virtual, then I'll gladly accept bitcoins. Is there any Gemach I can donate them to?)
I hope to keep on posting tomorrow and get to know you all a little better.

lionking wrote on 23 Apr 2017 21:26:

I don't think people (or myself) gave you a karma for the introduction

Rather it's a welcome back hug, especially because you got high on the bandwagon (like my bandy truck)

KOB!!

Sing has it in his sig. 

Today is Day 1. I'm starting my count on yesod shbeguvra. I really need to accept the fact that there is a higher power pulling the strings. I need to realize that Hashem is with me even when I fall and I wouldn't have been able to do anything without Hashem's help. (ANYTHING means ANYTHING, including porn and masturbation, even if that is so against his will.) I have to try not to disappoint Hashem. He expects better from me. 
p.s. Isn't it interesting that the yesod of gevura which represents the strongest din is equal to the count of 13, the 13 Middos of Rachmim. I think it comes to show us that true din is really chesed for us.

also echod =13

Welcome back!