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TOPIC: struggle goes on 742 Views

struggle goes on 16 Nov 2016 20:52 #297969

precious
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I'm new to all this so not sure quite what to expect.

I'm married and have children. I have been struggling with inappropriate material on the internet since I was about 15. Iv'e had weeks even months without having gone to the internet however I always end up back. My marriage is on the verge of breaking down because of it (as my wife has found out what I've been looking a few times over the course of a few years) and basically she has had enough. If I cant make a positive long lasting change then it's basically the end. I'm starting over again (I dont know who many times I've said that) and will hopefully be able to make a lasting change.

I went to group therapy about 4 years ago which was positive but I have not had any ongoing support/therapy.

I'm going to try and find time to work through the tools on this website and try and try to discuss some things with my wife and try to move on to build a better marriage and better life.

Re: struggle goes on 16 Nov 2016 21:05 #297971

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Welcome Sorry to hear... I'm sure you have a LOR. Try give Cordnoy or Dov a call, and there's others too on this site that can help you tremendously Things can go in a positive direction, all it takes is small steps (Or big steps and your name is shlomo ;-)
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: struggle goes on 16 Nov 2016 21:24 #297972

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Welcome! Make yourself at home here. What did you learn/gain from group therapy? Why did you stop? Read the handbook. Get to know the chevra.
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: struggle goes on 16 Nov 2016 21:31 #297974

bigmoish
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Welcome. Sorry to hear about your situation.

Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo
"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: struggle goes on 16 Nov 2016 21:33 #297975

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	I would echo what Mark said, try to get in touch with your LOR and some of the respected members of the site that can help.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: struggle goes on 17 Nov 2016 00:02 #297980

neshamaincharge Current streak: 3752 days NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 347 Karma: 50	Thanks for sharing. A lot of us here can relate to your post, and many are proof that it can get better. Welcome aboard!

Re: struggle goes on 17 Nov 2016 03:28 #297982

serenity
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Welcome to GYE. Great first post. I hope you can find help and healing.

Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: struggle goes on 17 Nov 2016 04:29 #297988

cordnoy
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Welcome,

WeI are rooting for you.

B'hatzlachah

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

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Re: struggle goes on 17 Nov 2016 09:10 #297999

TFLMS Current streak: 1830 days OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 14 Karma: 4	Welcome Sorry to hear about your troubles. I came in to recovery because I couldn't handle the pain anymore. Any therapist that I was working to fix my marriage didn't work. So working on my marriage wasn't really the issue, it was saving my life from suicidal thoughts, the moment I jumped in recovery and started getting emotional sobriety, the miracles started happening, marriage etc. TFLMS
	What works for me: Meetings meetings meetings Sponsor Phone calls Group therapy Individual therapy

Re: struggle goes on 17 Nov 2016 15:20 #298009

Workingguy OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1150 Karma: 139	I can encourage you enough to find the help you need- rabbi, therapist, 12 steps, this site, Cordnoy, Dov, Markz, and anything else you can do both for yourself and because letting your marriage go is something that almost everyone regrets horribly afterward, and usually ends up having to fix the problem to go ok with their lives anyway, so why not fix it now?