If U had a wife why did U have the need to masturbate and if it was times that you could not get together then I think I would be able to hold back the week or so when I cant as I would know that I don't have to stop for ...... only till this date

Believe me I would love to for so many reasons but I'm 16  

When you have the need to masturbate you can most of the time go speak to your wife and then ................ and times when you can is it not easier to hold off for that week knowing its not that long to go

Let me know if I'm mistaken and just got my imagination messed up as I'm not married and don't know what its realh like 

Can U please explain as your sort of talking riddles

And why would you have to wait 3 years

us wrote on 08 Nov 2016 11:46:

Yes.

You're mistaken.

us wrote on 08 Nov 2016 11:48:

Because she's not in the mood.
 becauseI she is pregnant/nursing.
Because you are pressuring her.

II said earlier you should speak to someone real.

I will continue this conversation only after that is done.

B'hatzlachah

us wrote:

If I'd tell my wife "I need to mastubate lets go have intimacy" she would say "go to hell"

Many women are softer so although they realize very quickly (often takes 1 year) that the husband is obsessed with sex, instead of saying the above, they say "I'm too tired tonight" for many months or years...

Do you want such a marriage life?

All this is somewhat moot. Iy"H one day you'll be married and you'll see for yourself that it doesn't make it easier to stop masturbating.

In the meantime you're not married. So what's the plan as of now?

Have you read the handbook?

Oh, and please speak to someone as Cords suggested.

cordnoy wrote on 08 Nov 2016 12:23:

Please enplane and let me know why you think so

cordnoy wrote on 08 Nov 2016 12:30:

Tell me who
I cant speak to someone face to face

Sorry if the oilam is being a bit blunt.  Our opinions are based on experience.  I suppose it is possible that someone who masturbates occasionally can get married and it will help, but someone who obsessivly masturbates daily and cannot stop is another story.  It's our story.

Most of us thought that getting married would help.  For most of us, it did not.  It's not that important why.  Being obsessed with sexual arousal has a negative affect on a marriage.  I haven't found anyone on this site to say otherwise. 

We thought getting married would help, but it just made us more obsessed with sex.  We can become demanding in the bedroom or at least pressuring.  That is a big turnoff for our wives and can add lots of stress to a marriage. 

I hope I have said enough to satisfy you, but at this point it doesn't matter much.  I just don't want you to have false hopes that marriage will solve it.  I wan't you to be good and sober before then.  Please get help, and don't rely on marriage to solve it.

Check out this post from rabbi twerski: http://www.guardureyes.com/gue/rtwerski/startDating.asp

Here is a link to a bunch of his articles/letters: http://www.guardureyes.com/gue/rtwerski/rtwerskimain.asp

us wrote on 08 Nov 2016 19:40:

I highly doubt that you can't. You may choose not to, but if you're able to speak then you're able to speak with a professional. It might be inconvenient, but it's a choice. I hardly ever say the word can't anymore. To take a page out of Cordnoy's book, "Life is all about choices."

Markz wrote on 08 Nov 2016 13:40:

Thanks for trying to explain and not give a cold shoulder, I definitely gained clarity from this

i have spoken to my masgiach about it