Hi everyone,

This is my first time on the forum but not the first time I'm using the site. I guess first I'll introduce myself.
I am a BT and I grew up outside of Israel but am currently living in Israel for a long time already B''H!
I grew up in a non-religious environment and I went to a secular high school. When I went there for the first time I was the only one from a different elementary school and I was picked on by other kids. This caused me to really hate school which I told my parents but they just thought that I didn't like going to school like any kid. When my grades started going down I wasn't asked why by my parents just got angry with me and I got  to a level where I wanted to kill myself. The only way for me to numb myself was first through playing video games all day, but having an unfiltered internet connection in my room it didn't take long for me to also start viewing porn. It became my standard way to get a rush and numb myself from the situation at school. When I was still in high school I already started discovering Torah B''H. Obviously I realised how antithetical to Torah my behaviour and I tried to stop. When I made aliyah and attented yeshiva in Israel I lived in the dorms of the yeshiva. Obviously my internet acces was more limited and that helped me somewhat. There were periods when my addiction was less intense and periods when I went through great lenghts to view porn. I'm pretty sure that my friends caught me a few times or at least suspected it but that wasn't enough motivation to stop. 
Like any bachur I thought that marriage would solve the problem and evuantaly I got married. I love my wife verry much and we have a good relationship. The addiction has at some points been more intense than others and luckily hasn't exceeded the level of viewing porn once a month or so. But still it puts a strain on the relationship with my wife and disgusts me. Also I know very well what an impairment it is in spiritual terms. 
When I first found this site I was verry happy and it has helped me a lot. I was able to completely stop masturbation which I used to do daily. Also the porn viewing has become less frequent, for which I am grateful to HaShem. I realised that I always relapsed because I thought I was 'cured' after I didn't view porn for over 90 days and guarded my eyes in the streets. That weakened my resolve and I became lax in my shmirat einayim etc. When that happened it wasn't a priority for me anymore and I relapsed. This really frustrated me and I returned to the GYE handbook. Now I am convinced that I have to join the online community to make sure that the addiction always remains a priority and also to help others B"H.
I pray for myself and everyone struggling everyday and I want to thank your for your support and wish you HaShem's help!  
G'd bless!