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TOPIC: Happy to be part of this :) 1678 Views

Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 21:50 #269106

SimonConfused
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Hello guys, I hope this finds you well and that you are all working hard every day. It is my pleasure to sign up to this website and talk to any of you. I am a young man struggling with a strong porn addiction. I have not dated yet, but I want to soon and I hear of all these crazy stories...I need help from any of you. Just last night I even met up with a girl and paid for a sexual act...this has to stop...please any advice would be appreciated...

Last Edit: 20 Nov 2015 02:48 by skeptical.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 22:06 #269108

waydown OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 670 Karma: 7	Welcome Shimon, I am a newbie myself so I cam't offer much help. But you should know if I were single there isa good chance that i'd be in your shoes too. (Yes the fear of messing up my marraige, wife & kids have held me back from sites like those) So yesod #1 don't get depressed or down about it this is our nisayn.
	Last Edit: 19 Nov 2015 22:19 by cordnoy.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 22:10 #269109

SimonConfused OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 27 Karma: 0	thank you very much newbie I appreciate that...I always would tell myself that once I get married, then I wont watch porn anymore...I guess that isnt true... :/

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 22:15 #269110

serenity
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"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
Posts: 1796
Karma: 173

Welcome chaver! How is your life outside of your porn and prostitution?

Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 22:21 #269111

SimonConfused OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 27 Karma: 0	Hi Serenity! It is okay, I went to yeshiva for a couple of years and now I am working and going to college. I learn a few hours a day with a couple of chavrusas and daven etc...the issue is when I come home at night or just get in the mood...its a continuous cycle

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 22:21 #269112

cordnoy
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Posts: 12070
Karma: 652

Welcome,

Look around.
Make yourself comfy.
Lots of good ideas here.

B'hatzlachah

Work it, for you're worth it!

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 19 Nov 2015 22:50 #269114

Markz
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Posts: 8259
Karma: 428

SimonConfused wrote:

Hi Serenity! It is okay, I went to yeshiva for a couple of years and now I am working and going to college. I learn a few hours a day with a couple of chavrusas and daven etc...the issue is when I come home at night or just get in the mood...its a continuous cycle

As one of the guys on the forum say - how does it go? I forgot
i think it's something like 'Get off the bicycle and get on your 18 wheeler TRUCK

I may be misquoting / misrepresenting - but who cares, Dov will forgive me

My Story---------Dov Quotes

FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
• 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

➣ GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
➣ Nice Trucking Story

Last Edit: 27 Jan 2016 23:52 by Markz.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 20 Nov 2015 03:31 #269121

serenity
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"ONE DAY AT A TIME"
Posts: 1796
Karma: 173

SimonConfused wrote:

I can really relate a lot to that. That's pretty much where I was over 20 years ago. My life was over all pretty manageable, but I had this compulsion I couldn't stop. I pray that Hashem opens your heart and send you healing now.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 20 Nov 2015 03:39 #269123

shlomo24
Current streak: 1 day
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Posts: 2213
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I relate to your feelings Simon. I am 20 years old, in yeshiva and I might start college soon. I have had anonymous sex and masturbated consistently for most of my life. A lot of porn and phone sex also. There is hope. I have been doing really well as of late and life feels so much better. I realized that lust is my solution not my problem. I resort to it when life gets shi(ahem!)y. One thing that has helped me is realize that I have a disease, I am sick getting better. I am not a bad person, and Hashem still and always has loved me unconditionally.

If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can.

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Last Edit: 20 Nov 2015 03:39 by shlomo24.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 20 Nov 2015 04:30 #269129

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Shlomo wrote: Hashem loves me unconditionally We love you too
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 20 Nov 2015 08:35 #269141

changing OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 384 Karma: 63	Welcome!! You have come to the right place!!... Hope you have much success I'm getting over this.... But let me tell you : marriage changes nothing!!!! It only makes it worse bc you still act out and expect it from your wife too... From my experience, work on this now before you start dating. I wish I would have...... Hatzlocho

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 20 Nov 2015 18:50 #269174

`Chaim
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Hey! Welcome to the club where confused people come in and many people gain clarity. Take a look around the sight for life saving (literally) advise and look inside yourself as well because I Realized that everyone needs their tailored derech for this issue. However, one yisod applies to everyone: DON'T GIVE UP. It might sound a little cliche, but its application and meaning is huge. You should be b'hazlacha and one day give others clarity (I need some!) on this sickness.

Shmiras HaChaim:
Every day is a chance to change your life

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 20 Nov 2015 23:10 #269186

SimonConfused
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Junior Boarder
Posts: 27
Karma: 0

Shlomo - you have a very good point about it being a solution...I can understand that...We both have to work on this especially before marriage because it will eat us alive...I need eitzah about what to do before I begin dating and I really need to know what the sex life during marriage is all about because there are so many crazy stories. I think my expectations of marriage is truly not what it is...maybe a married man can private message me so we can discuss what marriage is so I get a strong clarity...thank you and good shabbos!

Thanks to the other who have been responding as well, I appreciate it.

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 23 Nov 2015 15:21 #269395

gibbor120 OFFLINE Platinum Boarder NEVER EVER GIVE UP! Posts: 5251 Karma: 166	Welcome! Read the handbook. Keep posting. Check out some of the links in my signature, especially dov quotes. Don't worry about marriage now. Work on recovery.
	My Home \| My Links \| Dov Quotes \| Dr. Sorotzkin \| Handbook \| Additional Tools \| AA Audio \| Shalom Bayis \| Skep's Tips

Re: Happy to be part of this :) 24 Nov 2015 01:51 #269466

SimonConfused OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 27 Karma: 0	Thank you I will do that but I want to have a private chat with someone who is married that can teach me what marriage is truly about. Thank you!