Received some great tips in my group over the weekend on how to surrender lust. Surrendering may be the most important step in recovery and also the most porous and indefinable. When my addiction is in the inactive stage, which is where I find myself now, the surrender is easy. When it is in the pain/active stage it is hard to remember how to surrender. Without regular recovery work even in the inactive stage staying sober for long is a pipe dream. I hope to practice surrendering now so that when the need truly comes I will be well practiced and it will be my second nature.

Metatron wrote:


Please provide a practical tip of surrenderin' - in both stages.

Thanks

I've been very happily sober for close to four months. I wish there was a sa group near me that's not in a church so that I can attend some meetings in person.

I have come to understand (not through sa but rather through addiction) that I cannot continue to live under the poison of the addiction and that I am powerless to the poison. I have also accepted that hashem and hashem alone will stand up to the poison of lust. I cannot do it.

the one thing I am truly missing at this point is the satisfaction in life. What stops me from acting out is the very real recognition that I would rather be dead than acting out but I yearn for that joy in life I see from true recovering addicts. There's a life out there that's better than "better than dead." I'm sure of it.

How close do you want it to be?

Metatron wrote:

Is that joy that you have seen in recovering addicts also better than the enjoyment we find in our escapes (before the after-effects hit)?
If it was obviously so, this would be easier.

Why can't you attend meetings that are in a church? They aren't in the sanctuary you know. Usually a basement or side room.

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/144634-SA-groups-in-church-basement-can-one-join--

Thank you gvurah and Shlomo. While I understand the strong arguments for walking into a church (can you imagine how much worse it is for your yiddishkeit to be buried or locked up which is where this addiction will lead) I am very uncomfortable doing it. It is hard enough to attend meetings in a regular place. It's a tough call.

As an aside I saw this great quote from meadowlark lemon who died this week "I want you to always remember that life’s most meaningless statistic is the half time score and as far as I’m concerned it’s always half-time."

There are plenty of meetings that are not in churches.

There are also plenty of rabbis to ask this question to.

Before I was in recovery
I would bring my fantasies and lust to Shul with me - right in front of the Bimah - in front of the ארון קודש, even when I was the chazzan

The rest of what I was gonna say may have been deleted by the moderator, I'll leave it your your imagination