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TOPIC: Hello friends 7788 Views

Re: Hello friends 25 Sep 2015 21:39 #264716

  • Markz
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My friend I love you very much...
I'll try respond Erev YT

Good Shabbos
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Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 01:30 #264730

  • serenity
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Do, believe and think what works. Don't let your religious reliefs interfere with your recovery.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 02:18 #264736

  • Markz
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AlexEliezer wrote:
As long as we keep talking about our favorite subject everybody's happy
lol woohoo evil dry whistle


Eslaasos, He's referring to the subject of our addiction.

serenity wrote:
Do, believe and think what works. Don't let your religious reliefs interfere with your recovery.

Serenity what's this all about? I'm lost
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Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 03:02 #264744

  • serenity
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I was replying to an earlier comment in which it was suggested that to view sex as optional is essential to recovery. Waydown disputed that suggestion and partially based his view on his religious beliefs.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 03:06 #264745

  • Markz
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Ok thanks. I added you a karma! KOT
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Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 04:02 #264750

  • Gettingcloser
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eslaasos wrote:
Thank you, would you like to share the other gemoros?

The rabeinu Yonah in ספר שערי העבודהexplains the midresh וירא אלוקים ...והנה טוב מאד
טוב זה יצר טוב
מאד זה יצר הרע
That תאווה has a great purpose for עבודת ה׳

Look it up he explains it very באריכות very geshmak
My Email address shulemc@gmail.com

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 04:14 #264752

  • Gettingcloser
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I have a wonderful sefer
בית היהודי ע״פ תורה from Reb Sender Erlanger about this topic I don't know if it's being sold in sfurim stores it's very informative, his approach is not too holy & he takes the today's nisyones in consideration,
My Email address shulemc@gmail.com

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 04:36 #264754

  • Markz
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Gettingcloser wrote:

The rabeinu Yonah in ספר שערי העבודהexplains...
Look it up he explains it very באריכות very geshmak


Perhaps you mean feeding the יצר הרע is very geshmak?

Excuse my ignorance, but the 2 great sforim you quote are not readily accessible to everyone on this site, and you also don't give exact sources.
When quoting such radical things that are against what our יצר טוב understands, I'd think it reasonable to ask you my friend please to quote here some short excerpts so we can see exactly what those great rabbis have to say
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Last Edit: 27 Sep 2015 04:52 by Markz.

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 05:03 #264759

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Gettingcloser wrote:
It's a true point that sex is about giving, but I think that a wife wants to see her husband excited & having his needs met,

In marriage in general the husband is the giver, but he has to build up himself to be comfortable with himself & with his sexual needs if not the wife is not going to feel any value in the love he gives her

I've Seen people who used to be addicted to sex & because their shame & guilt & their self doubt they only wanted to please their wives in bedroom without thinking about their own needs

Let's not forget we are human beings & hashem created us with ugly desires & let's face that fact, a human being is a combination of a nefesh habahami & nefesh elokei, we have to feed our internal bahaima...


I'm not sure if you don't understand the meaning of "giving," or the meaning of lust or the meaning of nefesh bahami.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 05:08 #264760

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waydown wrote:
Alex,

"We need to view sex as optional."

Its hard to view sex as optional when its our duty and part of our kesuba to have tashmish. I know I can't mix judiasm into the life of addict but I still believe its part & parcel.

One more pointer, offcially the cathloic church views sex and marraige as optional for priests. We see how good that worked out. (I will not spell out the scandals but hamvin yavin.) Yes we can live our lives without it but...


I told my wife today (after her umpteenth time of not being interested) that I view sex as optional. Do I want it? Yes. Do I need it now? No. Will I mope? I will try my damnest not to.

She liked.

Regarding the obligations of onah - that is if she wants it.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 05:16 #264761

  • Gettingcloser
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markz wrote:
Gettingcloser wrote:

The rabeinu Yonah in ספר שערי העבודהexplains...
Look it up he explains it very באריכות very geshmak


Perhaps you mean feeding the יצר הרע is very geshmak?

y

No the rabeinu Yonah is geshmak
My Email address shulemc@gmail.com

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 05:35 #264764

  • Gettingcloser
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[quote="cordnoy" post=264760]waydown wrote:


I told my wife today (after her umpteenth time of not being interested) that I view sex as optional. Do I want it? Yes. Do I need it now? No. Will I mope? I will try my damnest not to.

She liked.

Regarding the obligations of onah - that is if she wants it.


Moping Is a woman's tool, you can't go competition with your wife,
Men need to take action & fix whatever has to be fixed
My Email address shulemc@gmail.com

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 05:40 #264766

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[quote="Gettingcloser" post=264764]cordnoy wrote:
waydown wrote:


I told my wife today (after her umpteenth time of not being interested) that I view sex as optional. Do I want it? Yes. Do I need it now? No. Will I mope? I will try my damnest not to.

She liked.

Regarding the obligations of onah - that is if she wants it.


Moping Is a woman's tool, you can't go competition with your wife,
Men need to take action & fix whatever has to be fixed


Ok
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 05:51 #264768

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markz wrote:
AlexEliezer wrote:
As long as we keep talking about our favorite subject everybody's happy
lol woohoo evil dry whistle


Eslaasos, He's referring to the subject of our addiction.


I'm confused, is the conversation commendable or not?
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
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Re: Hello friends 27 Sep 2015 07:07 #264775

  • Gettingcloser
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markz wrote:
Gettingcloser wrote:

The rabeinu Yonah in ספר שערי העבודהexplains...
Look it up he explains it very באריכות very geshmak


Perhaps you mean feeding the יצר הרע is very geshmak?

Excuse my ignorance, but the 2 great sforim you quote are not readily accessible to everyone on this site, and you also don't give exact sources.
When quoting such radical things that are against what our יצר טוב understands, I'd think it reasonable to ask you my friend please to quote here some short excerpts so we can see exactly what those great rabbis have to say

רבי צבי הירש מזידיטשוב )סור מרע
ועשה טוב, ח"א סור מרע ד"ה שישית, עמוד לו(, "ושמעתי ממורי דעיקר קדושת הזיווג הוא קודם הזיווג, לדבק במחשבתו ולקשר עצמו בבורא יתברך ברוך הוא וברוך שמו יתברך ויתרומם ויתנשא, כמבואר בספרי קדושה, אבל בשעת הזיווג אי אפשר
שלא ייהנה".
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Last Edit: 27 Sep 2015 07:14 by Gettingcloser.
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