I started this on my original post but wanted to hear from others who may not have seen it before. I made a resolve to not go on GYE after 9 PM. I find that i am more vulnerable at night, and that reading the forum will sometimes depending on what it surrounds, will arouse my mind and lead to the "bad" things. So I took a resolve on myself to stay away at night, so far its working. Before i would be on the forum, i don't know if i was on to become aroused while reading or it just happened and then i would fall. I hoping to Keep this current streak going right now I'm at 9 days my longest in a while.

Hey bro - im with you all the way
Nobody should go onto Guard your Eyes - its too dangerous - you should remove your filters too
Im sticking to youtube!!

You should have made this a private post - I'm worried Cordnoy will see this. But hey - who cares, he might join too !

Yeah Cordnoy! Yo! Can you just shutdown GYE altogether ?

[I have sane comments to make too, but later...]

I didn't say to stay way completely but to me, GYE+NIGHT= BAD.
And "Make private" I want this to be an open discussion and get other peoples opinion.

Do what works!

markz wrote:


Sorry; i belong to too many groups as it is.

Are you
1. Mr 'never lusted'?
2. Mr 'lust addict'?
3. Mr 'צדיק'?

WARNING
If you are Mr 'never lusted', this is the wrong website for you (checkout the prevention site guardyoureyes.com/prevention), also what I'm about to say later is graphic and inappropriate for you.
All others, read on.

We need a BRAIN-WASH!!! Cold Shower - Ah... Refreshing!
'Cos when our brainwaves are positive, lustful images won't affect us - AT ALL, like demonstrated in the 4 examples below.
But when our brain is in 'addict' mode, even legitimite kosher things can be detrimental to us

Examples of 'Mr צדיק'

1) A famous Rabbi had a personal custom whenever he was at a wedding, to lift the bride and carry her on his shoulders tra-la-la, to add joy to the חתן and כלה.
Guess what? It didn't lower his purity but was considered a מצוה!
(An Amora - see Ritva end of kiddushin)

2) To stop from sin, another famous Jew went directly to the location that a man and woman were having sinful relations and witnessed the full act.
Guess what? Not only did it not affect him, He was raised to a position of leadership in our nation (happens to be he also shot them. Pinchas).
Imagine a famous חסידיש׳ע Rebbe or the חפץ חיים זצוקלל"ה זכותם יגן עלינו visit an Adult-only website to watch an X-Rated video, (destroy it) and coming out greater?

3) There's a religious guy that his פרנסה is by spending time with women in a closed room, asking them to unclothe, and looking at their private parts. He's a gynecologist, and I heard a well known Rav compliment this fellow's יראת שמים.

4) The first couple walked around naked. And they were on the highest levels then in עבודת הקדוש ברוך הוא until they listened to a stupid snake.

Examples of Mr 'lust addict'
To my struggling friend in a sleek Black James Bond Car (if I'm missing something about your personality please clue me in)

1) You write "I sit and read the forum posts about people lusting and it gives me thoughts"(guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/262456-My-yet-uncontrollable-addiction), which is what gave the impetus to post this 'No GYE after 9PM for ME'.
You know what? When I'm in the mood for casual reading, it would be downright dangerous for me to go to guardyoureyes.com - there's so much inappropriate material and stuff there I never knew existed (We could even promote GYE on Google as a great Porn Adult Website - You know I'm kidding, but my you got my point?) Our brain needs to be in the mode of 1%+ treatment to come on this website, in order for it to assist us and not pull us down. As long as we are have not begun, and are searching for ways of treatment - no website is safe NOT EVEN TORAH WEBSITES - I can give you sources in Talmud that will enhance your lust till you bust.

2) You say "I have a problem with SSA!" (guardyoureyes.com/forum/43-SSA-Forum/262446-A-Problem#262473)
Shlomo24 had a great response "guys with ssa sexualize non sexual things"
A צדיק is diametrically opposite "even lustful things can be viewed as non sexual" (We're far far from there)

3) You also write - "there is a button for an emergency turn off. Well sometimes i just like to look at the pictures, seeing the brains of a person... is fascinating".
My friend Strugglingtomakeit I feel the same way as you 100%. Addicts like us will not be shaken when seeing such pictures (in my opinion they belong on the prevention website only, not us GYE's. Survey anyone?)

To summarize;
When our brainwaves are not in control, then, like you admitted "GYE after 9pm isn't safe, and taking a shower isn't safe, and SSA is a struggle".
We need help to change our brainwaves and the solution is going to be more than "no GYE after 9pm". If you'd have said no internet after 9pm, that would be amazing - a step beyond the idea I'm trying to promote here guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/262276-THE-GOOD-NIGHT-BLOG.

And remember - Forbes says "Thinking Small Is The Secret To Big Success"!!

You are right Markz it would be even better if i say no internet after 9pm, but what do you constitute internet? Everything? Or can one still use wifi to run apps like cbs, and the like? If it's all of it it wont work for me on two levels and may actually cause me to fall.
On one hand i have a job where i can work late nights and if I'm sitting around doing nothing but sitting in my truck and cant sleep if i can't use the wifi to watch my shows on my mind will surely wander.
On the other no internet is too big of a step for me at once. I tried that thinking of kill now for time to come, But looking for future wins kept killing me. That's why I'm taking small steps working one day at a time, small step is eliminating something i know might bring something up, so at night i stick to things i know, even though they use internet. And that's how it will be until i can get a hold on things.

I don't think I could stay sober if I were watching shows.
Too many potential lust objects to look at.

I use shows to keep my mind off of other things, i feel even if there is a little to lust about its better than a full on rage fest. If you were sitting in the front of a van for 6 hrs, at night doing nothing but trying to fall asleep, like me sometimes you would want something to watch as well

www.torahanytime.com/

Thank You Alex but I can't sit and learn for to long, especially if i find it boring, im just not that way I need other things to keep me busy

Maybe start with watching a half hour before going to less noble material.
It's possible to re-train your mind to enjoy shiurim. Hashkafa stuff can be very engaging. Find a speaker you like. You'll have stuff to say at the Shabbos table.

Baby steps. But you gotta take them.

there are interesting things you can listen too that dont have to be torah but arent triggering, like free college lectures from itunes on any topic like history, religion, psychology, or you could try radiolab.org they have some really cool interesting podcast that can be distracting and fun to listen too and worst case scenario... if they're boring, they may actually put you to sleep

AlexEliezer wrote:


I have no clue if it's right or wrong to deliberately watch TV as a distraction, but I can only say that I did it, and I can attest to the truth of AE's claim that it is possible to retrain your mind to enjoy shiurim. I used TV as a half way house between shmutz and Torahanytime (that sounds weird)!
It took a few years, but I would never have believed that I would one day be as interested in a Torah shiur as I was in TV. It helps if the speaker is entertaining and light, with a few interesting concepts buried among the funny stories.
Mind you, some shows like Breaking Bad are in a class of their own and I have not yet been as excited by the latest release from Rabbi Orlofsky as I was by the new season/episode of BB, but you get the picture.

I am 99% sure that by itself it would not have been successful, but it was helpful. You have to start with sur mera before you can get to aseh tov. This is like sur from very ra to not so bad ra.

Another thing I found helpful was Jewish music videos on Youtube.

www.torahanytime.com/video/rabbi-mizrachis-personal-story/ he has more, but start with that, and Keep Trucking