Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: SOBRIETY 10464 Views

Re: SOBRIETY 02 Aug 2015 21:05 #260694

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1016
  • Karma: 100
I remember struggling with looking at legs of girls in my class in first grade. Can you imagine? The hormones were not to enter the equation for yet a number of years and I was already in the battle?

When I got married I shared this with my wife. She laughed. Apparently thinking that it was more cute than odd. I realize now that it is clear evidence of a compulsion innate in me that is extreme beyond the norm. I am thankful to Hashem that this interest in little girls was only when I myself was little. Never have I had an interest in child P___. So my interest in Suzie was age appropriate.(in a sense/sort of??!! - a tad extreme I"m sure you'd all agree)

You know here on the the forum we tend to share our shortcomings, our challenges and our failures. Sometimes we also share our successes. From time to time we also mention how so many of us were of the top in our respective Yeshivas. With me I was a solid learner but I would not say I was a star learner. However, I did have a deep seated yearning to come close to Hashem. A particularly strong will to be Mezakeh es Harabim.
Whenever this happens in the smallest way I feel a certain simcha as if my neshama is crying out : "Hey Yirai -(what took you so long?) ya did well, You did what you were created to do!."
I believe - that the fact that so many of us who are afflicted with this compulsion for lust are also so very spiritual by nature is a reflection of our lofty neshamas.
Remember the story of Abayai Gemarah Sukkah 52a. Abayai was a spiritual giant in a generation of giants and he attests that he would not have passed a test(based on lust)that a person much inferior to him spiritually did pass. His struggle, the gemara explains - was a tough one directly because of his extremely lofty spiritual status.
"Kol hagadol machaveiro yitzro gadol haymenu"
If we continue to follow the appropriate program for ourselves, and be zoche for the siyata dishmaya to consistently stay clean and not act out, we can go out and accomplish other monumental spiritual accomplishments.
Last Edit: 15 May 2017 21:09 by the.guard.

Re: SOBRIETY 19 Aug 2015 01:00 #262170

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1016
  • Karma: 100
Well I think it's time for a change of routine. - bli neder- Until right before Rosh Hashanah I don't plan on any posting. Just PMs and communicating with those I sponsor. and - oh yah, pressing the "I'm still clean" button if I'm so zocheh.

KolTuv and see yah in a few weeks I"H o' holy warriors

Re: SOBRIETY 19 Aug 2015 09:24 #262197

  • shlomo613
  • Current streak: 32 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 433
  • Karma: 28
We will miss you but it's what you've got to do.

Re: SOBRIETY 05 Nov 2015 01:17 #267837

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1016
  • Karma: 100
It's now been a full year!!!

I can't believe it. It's been some journey. My emotions are both mixed and powerful.

I joined this holy forum 1 full year ago as a broken fellow - engaging in P_______ and phone sex from time to time. (M____ was not a problem) But oh my!!! The guilt would lay so very heavy on me.

I really have not engaged in viewing P___ or phone S_____ for an entire year.

and I even have had stretches of months when things seemed to be smooth as ever.

HOWEVER
, I did have many slips along the way. and a couple of days ago as well. This has made me very uneasy. Gibbor120 who has been sober, I believe for over 5 years, just posted that the journey is still challenging at times. These words were so crucial and timely for they have given me the reassuring feelings of ease and tranquility I desperately need.

So I am apprehensive about keeping my sobriety. Yet, I am one happy dude as well.

How did I do it?
Well this is the short of it. I joined GYE and began to post and learn. I learned quickly that I CANNOT DO IT- and that we are truly powerless and need to give the fight over to Hashem. I was a total Am Haretz in this area and seriously needed guidance. The forum really was my tool of learning. I have not gone to meetings or read the white book. As well, my wife is not aware of my "challenge"(illness if you will)
I davened a lot and learned from you guys, that you have to be very diligent in keeping a far distance from triggers. The Y"H is so shrewd in this regard, as we are all aware.

Perhaps the greatest of gifts I received from the forum is the ability to lend a helping hand.I have two members whom I sponsor. These are relationships I cherish so. They are both so honest and caring. As well, I believe they are both more intelligent than I am. The fact they sought me out and continuously seek my friendship and counsel is a most humbling matnas chinam.

In truth almost every part of the forum is a mussar unto itself.

Just to name a few:

Reading the posts of those who just joined. Sensing within their words their desperation and helplessness. To know I was there not so long ago. To know that to go back to the depths of this gehinnom is unfortunately just a few taps of the computer away.

Observing how some with multiple addictions, pick themselves up, go to meetings and can even quote the "book" chapter and verse shows a level of allegiance to their goal and perseverance of spirit that I can only dream of.

Observing the outpouring of care that so many show to those who need help especially after a crushing fall r"l.

To see people get up time after time after time only to eventually make it.For here on the forum there are only two types. Those who are in recovery and those on the way.

From the depths of my heart I thank you Hashem.

And thank you members of the forum, for continuously holding my hand, guiding me and giving me the opportunity to give back.

Re: SOBRIETY 05 Nov 2015 02:39 #267841

  • serenity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
  • Posts: 1786
  • Karma: 167
Thank you for that beautiful and inspiring share! Mazel Tov! Mazel Tov!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: SOBRIETY 05 Nov 2015 20:01 #267918

  • gibbor120
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
  • Posts: 5250
  • Karma: 158
MAZAL TOV, and KOT!

Re: SOBRIETY 28 Apr 2017 01:24 #311774

  • cordnoy
  • Current streak: 211 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11263
  • Karma: 518
yiraishamaim wrote on 04 May 2015 03:35:
I am so deliriously happy with reaching 180 days!

I remember reading a post a short time ago of a member here who is also a Ba'al Koreh in shul. He said that when he read Shir Hashirim in shul he got quite emotional. I really relate to that. It shows how low we really became with these actions and the stark difference between that and kedusha is major. That sudden realization brings on tears of joy!!!

I used to get so down when I read "VELO SASOOROO ACHAREI LEVASVCHEM VEACHAREI AYNAYCHEM ASHER ATEM ZONIM ACHAREIHEM" - now I beam with pride that I am on the right road. I used to not look at people in the eyes. I thought they probably can see I have P___ eyes. Even though I learned Torah and had weeks or more of stretches when I did not indulge in the forbidden. Now I have no problem looking at people. No insecurity in that regard
I am so much more relaxed. I can multi-task easier. If I have stretches of time alone I do not have a sudden zombie robotic slave-like urge to to something filthy and stupid.
I am thrilled beyond thrilled.

I love and appreciate all participants in the forum. If you love someone you wish them the best.

I WISH YOU SOBRIETY ( Can you think of something better?)

May we all get sober AND STAY THAT WAY so we can be the true YIRAISHAMAIM and AVDEI HASHEM that we were born to be.

Amen
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: SOBRIETY 28 Apr 2017 03:29 #311782

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1016
  • Karma: 100
Thanks Cords
During the See Saw of the journey of Sobriety we never really return exactly to the way we were at an earlier time, Do we?

Hopefully wiser.

Re: SOBRIETY 28 Apr 2017 12:46 #311818

  • cordnoy
  • Current streak: 211 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11263
  • Karma: 518
yiraishamaim wrote on 28 Apr 2017 03:29:
Thanks Cords
During the See Saw of the journey of Sobriety we never really return exactly to the way we were at an earlier time, Do we?

Hopefully wiser.

Nope.

YesI, hopefully, with honesty and willingness to listen to others.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: SOBRIETY 28 Apr 2017 14:10 #311834

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1016
  • Karma: 100
k gotta work on that,

Re: SOBRIETY 28 Apr 2017 14:41 #311838

  • cordnoy
  • Current streak: 211 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11263
  • Karma: 518
yiraishamaim wrote on 28 Apr 2017 14:10:
k gotta work on that,

You have been.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: SOBRIETY 25 Nov 2018 17:16 #337469

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 35 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1656
  • Karma: 151
cordnoy wrote on 28 Apr 2017 12:46:

yiraishamaim wrote on 28 Apr 2017 03:29:
Thanks Cords
During the See Saw of the journey of Sobriety we never really return exactly to the way we were at an earlier time, Do we?

Hopefully wiser.

Nope.

YesI, hopefully, with honesty and willingness to listen to others.

Completely agree. I don't know how much "real sobriety" I've gained over the past few years on gye, but I am no question a completely different person.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Time to create page: 0.51 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes