lionking wrote on 29 Nov 2018 13:51:

.Lion, when I wrote that cords is still here, I couldn't resist an old tease by writing Cordroy.  Cordnoy responded that Cordroy isn't here. Really he never was.
Sorry for confusing you. :-)

stillgoing wrote on 29 Nov 2018 15:56:


I didn't notice the misspell. Perhaps I was under some spell. However my question remains as per the following quote below.
cordnoy wrote on 28 Nov 2018 05:44:

I was checking back in and I was surprised to see my thread bumped up.  I usually don't remember what I wrote, but I remember that fruit fly post. 

I'm online listening to Bill S.  A man with truly amazing sobriety and humility. 

serenity wrote on 23 Jul 2017 03:53:

Bump

Some untruths that I used to believe or tell myself

• I have to act out
• I can just watch a little and I won't act out
• My world will end if anyone finds out
• Acting out starts when I touch myself or go to a porn site and that's when I lose power

What I have learned

• II don't have to act out
• I just watch a little I will act out 
• I need to trusted people to share with who share my experiences and can provide peer support
• The loss of power starts way earlier. I have to know for myself what actions, feelings and other things lead me to acting out.

serenity wrote on 28 Jan 2020 04:11:

Good to hear from you old buddy, how goes it?

Reb Cordnoy. Good to hear from you as well! B"h doing well. Trying to do the best I can one day at a time. 

How u been buddy?

Hello all, I'm going to try and check in here for the next 90 days and click that 90 day chart. My SA sobriety date is March 18, 2015 but can I really say I meet the GYE standards. I don't know but I didn't want to click I had a fall. What a terrible word "fall" is in my opinion. So negative and shameful, but who am I to question the 90 day chart. (It helped me) Anyways in the past Cordnoy (is he still an admin here?) gave me dispensation to say I'm clean on the chart. What another ugly word, "clean". So if I'm not clean, I'm dirty? They got rid of those words in the counseling profession. Time to update the lingo here? Look at me, here 5 minutes and already complaining. Such an addict. 

Listen I'm going to be a bit rude and egotistical. Here is my rule. If you have not masturbated in more than three years you can argue with anything I say and I'll will probably listen to you and you will probably be right.  If you're a chronic slipper then you should probably just keep quiet. Anything in between maybe you have something to teach me. If you have a decent amount of time of no masturbation with no image searches (def no porn)  then let me know how you do it.

Please don't take me too seriously. I just want to go 90 days without an illicit image (or any image search - except for cars) or video search. 

Thanks, 

Wow my Karma is going to go way down. They still have Karma here? 

serenity wrote on 04 Mar 2021 04:07:

Nice to see you back!!!!!

Not sure if the world has changed since they dropped mr from potato head (sic), but from my last check, searching for cars is not the most advisable idea if you’re trying to keep safe from illicit images...

Stick to Trucks 

serenity wrote on 04 Mar 2021 04:07:

Yes, and it appears they fixed the bug that used to allow me to give people more than one point at a time.
Welcome back, buddy.

Bigmoish wrote on 04 Mar 2021 05:00:


So that's how you old-timers all have a zillion karma!

Day 2. I was about to search an image last night and then I remembered my 90 day thing. I didn't fell at all like I was holding myself back. It felt like a surrender. You can only hold breath for so long. You have to grow gills. I guess it's really the opposite.   We end up living in this unnatural state of fantasy etc and our bodies adapt. Time to stop breathing under water and learn to breath fresh air again. 

serenity wrote on 05 Mar 2021 05:12:

Did we even grow gills? Was it even considered breathing? I don't think it was for me. It was suffocating my life as a person, Jew, husband, father, chavrusah, student, talmid, friend, brother, son. I was definitely not breathing and had to come back to reality for air. It may have seemed like breathing, but for me I now experience that it hardly was.

Day 4. Been using short prayers to surrender second looks at people. Thanks for your help.