Dear Sholmo,
still in shock & disbelief about you relapse! Absolutely amazingly awesome that your sponsor has taken you "under his wing".Feel free to call or text me.I have tried that multiple checking in to get through the day ...ect.

I have just added some content restrictions to my current iPhone.  With the restrictions I already have on my laptop, I think things are on their way.

Was nice seeing you. Glad you are doing better 

Hi ya'll. I went to a shabbos for sex addicts and guess who I saw there? Dov! I didn't know that he was going to be there, but then I saw him announce himself. I was in the back of the room, seeing him was like glimpsing moshe rabeinu in the flesh. I couldn't get over it. I went over to him eventually, and we talked for an hour. He remembered my smile when I told him my username, (he also said my real smile is nicer). It was really great to talk to him, to absorb ESH, and to hock GYE. His words were especially potent, specifically because of my exit from relapse. I was very nispoiel. In general, the shabbos was really great and there was a lot of excellent recovery. (Cordy: You should come). I feel much better now than I did last week, but my addictive behaviors don't stop because I feel good. Sometimes they start because I feel good. I am still working a more intense than regular program and hoping to get my life back together. As powerless as I felt during my relapse, my unmanageability was even more and it's good to get back into the swing of things.

After speaking with many people, I have learnt certain things about my recovery that need to be strengthened. I still firmly believe that there wasn't a clear lead up and that my program wasn't faulty, but there are definite areas I would like to improve on. However, most of it is going to be pushed off for the time being. Right now I just need to get sober and get my head out of the clouds. One thing I will share is that I am not going to be making any dating decisions. I will date when God wants me to. When will that be? I don't know. But not for today and that is all that matters.

Thank you guys again for being there for me.

Peace out.

Why?
And why me specifically?

Quick update: I'm doing well. Making a lot of calls and trying to go to more meetings. I'm also balancing that with Final exams. But b"h making progress ODAAT. I still have intense gedarim with computer usage, so I'm not going to be posting on other people's threads for the time being. I really want to post on the forums, but I need to be focusing on myself for now and also limiting computer usage, because it can be an escape for me. I'm studying very efficiently, the issue is I have to not study too much in which it would effect my sobriety.

Peace Out.

U can call me as well!

Alright guys, I'm back! I won't be posting as much as I used to, at least for now, but I will be posting more. After thinking about it, I don't think that GYE is going to negatively affect my sobriety, provided I don't obsess over it. The good thing is that I don't have a smartphone so it's not always available.

It's a joy to have you back! 

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 25 May 2016 01:11:

Ditto

Heres a Monstah Pillow

Ok, so I'm not exactly sure about my mindset right now and if I can withstand GYE. Here's the reason: Many people preach about Torah stopping porn or masturbation or whatever, but I have yet to see one person get long-term sobriety from "an extra seder." An entire psychic change based on Torah can help, as many teenagers "shtark out" and stop watching porn. But that is not what I'm referring to. I want to know if anyone on GYE has gotten long-term sobriety from "an extra seder." Most people here are adults who have already tried many things, the most logical 1st try is Torah. GYE is meant for help in recovery, not to give false eitzos. I know we have to be politically correct and say that "Torah can work for others," but I'm not interested in that. I would like real-life experience of people who have tried the Torah method and got long-term sobriety. Please don't bring gemaras to back yourself up, I know those gemaras already. I've had a talk with Dov in the past about this, his position is that the same reason that the Mussar and Chassidus movement were developed is the same reason that Torah alone won't solve porn or masturbation. 

In short, if anyone on GYE has found long-term recovery from Torah alone please speak up. I'm a torah-abiding Jew, but I hate to see people get so wrapped up in something that may not be what is needed. Torah can be a great tool, but I would like to see if people found that is ALL they needed. 

For me personally Torah worked only at the time I was engrossed in it

Even when engrossed Lust can attack some as explained here

Engrossed = During Seder or when thinking in learning - but PRIMARILY enjoying it
Unfortunately many bachurim are in Yeshiva for the ride and don't enjoy the chavrusa / shiur, and then...

Mussar and Chassidus are Torah - they're not an addition to Torah.

Working on living with a proper Torah perspective has really helped me, and continues to help me.

I'm not as we'll informed in the 12 steps as you, but isn't part of it to "let go and let God". It seems to me that you are a bit obsessed with "disproving" the Torah way. No one is telling you to even taste it. Let others feel their own way without attacking. It won't kill you. Garenteed.

J