Shlomo24 wrote:


First. kol hakavod for the share.

Second, Hashem is on fighting on your side and made sure that his email was already deleted.

I don't envy that guy. Imagine what happened in Shomayim (not that we have any idea but this seems obvious). Satan says there's this guy Shlomo24 who has been making too much progress for my liking. He's reaching new heights and we can't have that. I need to bring him down. Who wants to be the meisis umadiach to corrupt him. Oh yeah, there's that shmuck also from from NY who's solidly on my side. He's good at stringing people along.
Imagine being the guy playing the role of Yetzer Hara to a tazdik who is fighting the good fight.

eslaasos wrote:


Where do the good boys go to hide away?

So I was lying in bed, (I have a stomach virus), and I had a really strong desire to utilize a certain promiscuous service in order to hook up with people. I was praying to god to take away the obsession when a certain thought popped into my head that helped me. Acting out is not going to be an isolated incident for me. For one I have no idea when I will resurface, I have a strong feeling that it would take a while. More importantly all the things I want in life will be put on hold. I will have to wait another year to start dating, and having my own family is really what I want the most in this world. It really took the edge off the desire.

Shlomo24 wrote:


ב"ה
רפואה שלימה

cordnoy wrote:


Even not being a 12 steps/ addiction brain disease guy so much, I couldn't help but feel instinctively to your wishes to him- that a refuah sheleima is what we all need.

Workingguy wrote:


Is that what I am?

cordnoy wrote:


I have no idea. I understood that your refuah sheleima www for his stomach virus, not his addiction. My comment was on that and making no assumption about your opinions of the disease model, physical allergy-mental obsession, or any other model of understanding addiction.

But are you?

Oh also yesterday was my five month birthday.

Haven't posted here in a while, here goes: I recently have been doubting myself in terms of GYE. I thought that I maybe was coming off as a know-it-all or as pretentious, being that I am only in early sobriety. The majority of my posts are me offering ESH, (experience, strength and hope), about something and I thought maybe it was too much for someone like me who is barely sober. I chatted with a member and he didn't think it was a problem. Sometimes it is hard for me to know if a problem is just in my head or in reality. The lines get blurred from time to time and I always feel lost and confused when it happens. I also noticed that I don't take constructive criticiscm well and many times I respond with hostility. That has happened on GYE a decent amount of times and I was shaming myself for it. Sometimes I need to take a step back and realize that it is ok to feel not ok, it is ok to react instead of responding. Obviously I am not condoning it, but I am far from perfect and that is alright. Hashem loves me with all my imperfections. Writing this out actually helped express my feelings. It's so funny how I can give others chizzuk so readily but in regards to myself I almost always need to contact others to get out of my head and be receptive of encouragement and support.

Good Shabbos.

Shlomo24 wrote on Unknown:


Hi Shlomo,

Whoa. You're a good guy; I would say "Why so hard on yourself?" but I do the same thing to myself so often, and I'm sure our struggles don't help.

You are who you are- whether too strong, too sensitive, too reactive- there's nothing wrong with the way Hashem made us. Sure, we have things that we need to fix, but having those flaws in the first place is called being human.

I for one enjoy your participation and am happy to have you aboard. But don't take chizuk from me; find it in yourself (which is of course very hard).

We're with you.

I am 6 months sober today by the grace of god. I was told by another member to write down things that I did 6 months ago that I don't do now. So here goes:

1. Masturbate
2. Watching Porn
3. Calling Phone Sex
4. Anonymous acting out with married men
5. Touching Myself
6. Active lusting

And here are some things that I do now that I didn't do back then:

1. Surrender
2. Making frequent calls
3. Step work
4. Lead a meeting
5. Take care of myself
6. Self love
7. Help people instead of fixing people
8. Understand my boundaries
9. Talk to god as if he were my friends

Peace Out.

G'valdigg!!! 

Shlomo

Thanks for the share!!!

I have more exclamations to mention, but I don't want to be banned because the previous user already used that letter 3 times (keyword stuffin')

Gevaldi'''''''

Speechless