In my experience, a good therapists opinion is gold.

Are you planning to tell your father all the work you've done toward your great recovery. Honestly is something we must have but in the right places

All the best, and let us know when you're engaged ;-)

markz wrote:

That's a good point, I will discuss this with my therapist. Also my father knows about my recovery but I am purposely not telling him my sobriety date or my recovery. It's not supposed to be about him. I would feel very uncomfortable if I told him my sobriety date. They will have to find out how well I'm doing indirectly. Also, it doesn't change him at all if I change so there's no tachlis of telling him. Lastly, I have been advised to have as little contact with him as possible and this will just reign in things more.

In terms of your last (re)mark: I will definitely tell everyone when I get engaged iy"h.

cordnoy wrote:

Shlomo24 wrote:

I just saw this and I realized how what cordy said was gold and spot on but I wasn't ready for it. I was to much into, "I'm different because I have SSA, so it's harder for me to get sober." Well I have CLEARLY changed since then. My struggle isn't ssa, it's sex addiction. I have to accept my past self.

#2020hindsight

We call it #lust.

When did I write that? 2020?

lol

I joined the 90 day chart so I can have a 1 sober day by my profile. I want to remind myself that I can never be sober for more then one day and that it's an ODAAT program. How do I get the number below my username?

On the chart by your name there's a link that says "Display streak on forum". But how are you going to get it to keep saying one day if you don't keep telling it that you fell? If you just ignore it you drop off the chart after 2 weeks.

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


Doesn't yours stay the same for longer than that?

The WOH section works differently

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:
I don't update so every day for me is day 90, and the WOH? idk

ok i still have no idea how it works, woh equals wall of honor. mark has his number set at 90 for a while and i would like mine to stay at one

So jump on the 90 day chart for one day only, and don't update after that
It's fine - we know what day you're really upto...
day one for the 200th time or whatever
KOT 1DaaT

I missed a family simcha this morning and I want to share about it. I completely forgot about it, I was only reminded about it by others later on. I am ok with realizing a mistake and I took positive action to try to make amends. What is bothering me is the reaction I got from others. They all implied that I had just plain overslept and not made an innocent mistake at the wrong time. Had I remembered I would've showed up god willing. I am not the person who sleeps through important stuff anymore. But apparently they haven't realized that yet. That is what frustrates me. My sponsor said, "Yeah, sometimes it's a piss off when we get a glimpse of our former past." Al kol panim I am really po'd right now, something else came up also. I ask god to grant me serenity over my character defects and help me do the next right thing, to imbue spirituality within me so I don't have to seek out lust.

We're with you totally. And don't seek out lust; you don't need it. You have plenty of people who care about you on the site, and who want you to continue to be successful.

And obviously the lust won't solve anything. It'll only make things worse.

Someone from GYE told me he has SSA and wants to talk about it. We chatted on Gmail and everything seemed to be going fine. He said he was struggling with porn and masturbation, and we began exchanging a bit of info about ourselves. Things were going very normal then and he said he was from NY, I replied that I am also from NY. Then things went south. He deliberately asked to hook up with me. I first thought he was joking but he wasn't. I shut him down very strongly but he was not letting up, he got more explicit. The insanity was that I kept on chatting him. I am a sexaholic and I'm powerless over lust, there's no other reason that I would have kept going. It really took me out of my place and the lust shocked me. It's crazy how I can go from a sober mindset to back to lust in one moment. This program is truly one day at a time. I am and always will be an addict. I physically felt nauseous after chatting with him. I wanted to throw up. I didn't make any sexual advances but the whole conversation was all about lust for me. I shared it and I called my sponsor. I got on my knees and prayed because I knew that without god there was no way I was going to stay sober. I am still shaken up and I am trying to take it one moment at a time.