Me like!

Resentment is the "number one" offender.AA page 64. Somebody asked a loan from me to be paid Erev of Last Rosh Hashana. He did not pay. After a couple of months he paid half, explaining that soon to be ,really very soon . now now now he gathers the money and pays the other half.Now we are at the end of Shvat , next week is adar and still no money at the horizon.
He doesnt answer my calls , he doesnt call me either in short no word from him. He owes seventeen thousand Shekels. its quite a bit . I need to use this money that this man is not paying. Last week i started to feel the resentment taking over ; i even got sick with a type of fissure in my kishkes like an ulcer. Now i am thinking how am i going to get my money from this "Ganov", Chutzpadik, etc:angry: . I am dealing B"H with success with an overweight problem i have; in short I was getting Obsessed by this utter indifference from this person thinking i know he collects money from Chu"L i am going to call and let them know what type of criminal they are dealing with and so on and so forth. My defenses were going down , suddenly i find out that the street is full of ladies , "hey where did all this women come from " ?loads and loads of them all over the city ! suddenly i find myself indulging in food that i kept off limits. i lost my serenity and peace of mind.I was going down. I got sick with an ulcer.
Some good soul of a man told me to look in the AA book page 552 :

'If you have resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it everyday for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate, understanding and love.'

Rabosai that is what i did about this man . I am davening : Misheberach ... Hu Yevarech et Mr M.E. that owes me 17,000 shekels (dont know his mother's name) that he should have ... berachos , parnosa , nachas from all his children , etc, etc,.

No i will not say that he called me and paid , because he did not . But i did a tremendous favor to my soul my body and my connection to Hashem . My serenity is coming back to me . my ulcer is gone. And i am back to be happy again. I could have done harm to this man if i would have made some phone calls . Thanks to G.od a million times I did not . And by the way ...
the streets became again empty from women... well almost.