Come back tomorrow that you were clean today.

I didn't disappear. I've been checking in on the website and I red lots if other posts. I also had a smooth summer with my wife which is one of my porn triggers. It's been 56 days now and I'm feeling on one hand great but in tge other hand I'm struggling... The earge keeps coming back. I figured I'll post here maybe it will help a bit.

There is nothin' strange or rare about the urge comin' back; it does by many of us.

what are you doin' about it?
The urge thrives in isolation; that's where the fungus grows.

But anyway, 56 days is real good news!
What have you been doin' to accomplish that?
anythin' you could share with the oilam?
We are always lookin' for good new tips.

Whatever you're doin', keep on doin' it!
Focus on the present moment; that's what we are somewhat in control of, and don't worry about those pesty urger that keep returnin'.

b'hatzlachah

Nice to hear of your progress! Good for you.

What are your triggers of late?

For me 56 now 57 days is ok but not great! As I mentioned, my wife is my trigger. If she's upset with me then I act out. So I've been super careful with her I always listened and when anger popes up I don't let it last I tackle it immidiatly with positive thoughts. But when I'm over tiered and week I slip... And then the urge creeps up... But B"H I remain strong

Thats great! Good work! Remember day by day. Don't worry so much about the count.

I love the calming action there. I am working on that as well. It is very hard not to react back but we must keep our cool!

KOT!!!!!!

Hi lostjew85 i see that just by sharing to gye it does miracles .
how you went from almost divorce to a great summer in one month. I really honestly envy you. May Hashem continue His Yeshuos .for you and all who need them .

If i may ask if you can share more insight about your marriage. you were talking about divorce is that talk in the past.

Lostjew85 wrote:

I can relate to that. I didn't even realize that until I started working on myself with GYE. I realized though that for me it wasn't the anger. It was the feeling of being alone and the resentment that came with it. Somehow I felt a need to escape. and porn and masturbating was my escape. You see, for me it wasn't as connected to sex as I thought. I originally thought that I was feeling that if she doesn't want to have a normal relationship with me today, I will take things into my own hands. Well that wasn't it. For me it was depression in general and the need for escape. So yes, it was a trigger. but the more i focused on stopping to use porn as an escape, the less I was triggered. I continue to improve shalom bayis, but those days of tension are probably inevitable. But by working on my escape hatches, I have managed to disconnect my shalom bayis issues with watching porn.
Don't know if it is the same with you, but some food for thought.

Wow! Thanks for your reply. I see the same in my situation. The more I work on myself not to fall and watch porn and masterbate the better my sholom bais is. Your correct you can expect tension to disappear, however, I see a major improvement.

wow!!

This thread of yours runs deep in to my neshomoh, I see myself all over again, with all the pain frustration and fights......... I can't anymore.

belmont4175 wrote:


YES WE CAN!!!!!!!!!

Just want to post say hi. I joined SA and now going to therapy for over 4 months 
. Unfortunately I had to go experience more pain. I cheated on my wife again in Feb of this year... It felt so bad that I said the hell w it I'm going to get help I'm not giving in anymore. And I did.... Now my wife resents made she despises me she hates me and keeps asking for divorce. I had full disclosure and I told her everything.... She is upset that I talk about her in so call anonymous rooms she said it's not anonymous at all and wants me to stop talking about her. Anyway just wanted to post back here and say hello I have over 120 days now one day at a time.... I'm great full for SA. I wish I would have had the courage to join 2-3 years ago. I'll keep doing the next right thing.

luv the lost jew

Wow wow wow

Tough tough tough

I wish you all the best Trucking brother!!!

Thanks! This forum has an advantage that I can go back and read my posts and responses. Great tool can't get that in SA.