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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
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Im Paga be’cha menuval zeh, mushchei'hu le- BEIS HAMEDRASH! This board is for divrei Torah relating to our struggle with the Yetzer Hara, from the entire spectrum of Tanach, Chazal, Mussar and Chassidus. On this board there will be no posts about personal struggles and no debates. Only TORAH CHIZUK.

TOPIC: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 44548 Views

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 08 Mar 2018 21:06 #327956

  • Markz
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"I'm not addicted to Potato Chips...

I'm only going to have 1 now and that's it...

Now leave me alone"

Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein - Creating Your Own Super Highway
https://www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=39225
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Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 14:25 #328072

  • Markz
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Life #1 - Sabbath

lifebound wrote on 11 Mar 2018 13:17:
Quick update:
Just pulled an all-nighter here. Slept too much Shabbos day = can't sleep motzei shabbos. Been that way for me for years (gonna be even worse now with the clock change...) But I'm happy to report that I was able to suppress the constant urge to relax with some good ol' fashioned porn. This was the toughest battle yet...

My problem is not Porn.
My problem is Life. 
טועמיה חיים זכו
If we can flavor and enjoy the full day of the Sabbath, we have "Life"
If on a regular basis we curl up into bed on Shabbos afternoon, we have a problem with Life. 

One of the symptoms is 'can't sleep motzei shabbos' which is an open backdoor for me to consider a sexcapade.

Not sure if it's relevant to you, but this is my story

side tips:
1. Gd created coffee to be had before the Sabbath day meal, so the meal doesn't act like a sleeping pill.
2. He also created chairs so if I need to nap a few minutes I can be comfortable (imagine sleeping standing like a horse - ouch)
3. He gave me a wife so I can take a walk and connect
4. He gave me kids and they need time
5. He gave me books by Rabbi A Twersky
6. He gave me a choice of bet medrash with an abundance of sefarim
7. #SabbathRelax :-)
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Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 15:30 #328080

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Markz wrote on 11 Mar 2018 14:25:
Life #1 - Sabbath

lifebound wrote on 11 Mar 2018 13:17:
Quick update:
Just pulled an all-nighter here. Slept too much Shabbos day = can't sleep motzei shabbos. Been that way for me for years (gonna be even worse now with the clock change...) But I'm happy to report that I was able to suppress the constant urge to relax with some good ol' fashioned porn. This was the toughest battle yet...

My problem is not Porn.
My problem is Life. 
טועמיה חיים זכו
If we can flavor and enjoy the full day of the Sabbath, we have "Life"
If on a regular basis we curl up into bed on Shabbos afternoon, we have a problem with Life. 

One of the symptoms is 'can't sleep motzei shabbos' which is an open backdoor for me to consider a sexcapade.

Not sure if it's relevant to you, but this is my story

side tips:
1. Gd created coffee to be had before the Sabbath day meal, so the meal doesn't act like a sleeping pill.
2. He also created chairs so if I need to nap a few minutes I can be comfortable (imagine sleeping standing like a horse - ouch)
3. He gave me a wife so I can take a walk and connect
4. He gave me kids and they need time
5. He gave me books by Rabbi A Twersky
6. He gave me a choice of bet medrash with an abundance of sefarim
7. #SabbathRelax :-)



Can't agree with you more, Markz. To quote my first post:
lifebound wrote on 07 Sep 2017 05:10:

...But aside from that, I've come to realize over the past year or so that I have a much bigger underlying problem: I have no connection to hashem or yiddishkeit. I believe there's a god and I believe judaism is the only true religion; I've heard all the speeches and I've seen all the R' Leib Kelemen/Daniel Mechanic/Dovid Sapirman etc stuff. But there is no connection. I just want to run away from it all like an angsty OTD teenager. The last year of my life has been hell as I realize I'm living a complete lie, and I constantly feel empty and alone. There's just a void in my heart that gets deeper every day. Not to mention all the mounting pressure about shidduchim (I haven't started, and don't see myself ever getting married for these reasons, unless something changes)

I don't mean to turn this into a psychological help forum, but I feel like I need to address all this before starting to work on breaking free from lust. I'm spiritually empty - unless I fill the void first, I don't think I'll ever succeed.


My username is lifebound cuz that's really what I need to address; nomorepornbound just didn't have the same ring to it
Last Edit: 11 Mar 2018 15:31 by lifebound.

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 16:15 #328088

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Not sure where all this Shabbos afternoon shluf bashin' is comin' from.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 16:22 #328089

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cordnoy wrote on 11 Mar 2018 16:15:
Not sure where all this Shabbos afternoon shluf bashin' is comin' from.

Guess it's my fault, I slept shabbos afternoon and therefore couldn't sleep motzei shabbos. I try to avoid the afternoon shluf usually. That's how it goes with me, but for those who can handle it by all means enjoy your shluf and have me in mind!

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 16:30 #328090

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lifebound wrote on 11 Mar 2018 16:22:

cordnoy wrote on 11 Mar 2018 16:15:
Not sure where all this Shabbos afternoon shluf bashin' is comin' from.

Guess it's my fault, I slept shabbos afternoon and therefore couldn't sleep motzei shabbos. I try to avoid the afternoon shluf usually. That's how it goes with me, but for those who can handle it by all means enjoy your shluf and have me in mind!

Btw, I'd like to commend you and this thread, as people are talkin' about themselves and providin' suggestions for others. There are others who are occupied with suggestions and givin' advice to others without the personal involvement. In this business, "what has worked for me," or "what hasn't worked for me" (with the relevant history) is the best advice.

God speed!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 16:47 #328093

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cordnoy wrote on 11 Mar 2018 16:30:

lifebound wrote on 11 Mar 2018 16:22:

cordnoy wrote on 11 Mar 2018 16:15:
Not sure where all this Shabbos afternoon shluf bashin' is comin' from.

Guess it's my fault, I slept shabbos afternoon and therefore couldn't sleep motzei shabbos. I try to avoid the afternoon shluf usually. That's how it goes with me, but for those who can handle it by all means enjoy your shluf and have me in mind!

Btw, I'd like to commend you and this thread, as people are talkin' about themselves and providin' suggestions for others. There are others who are occupied with suggestions and givin' advice to others without the personal involvement. In this business, "what has worked for me," or "what hasn't worked for me" (with the relevant history) is the best advice.

God speed!

Thanks cords that means a lot. You're a big inspiration.

@Markz sorry for gate-crashing your thread. You're also a big inspiration

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Mar 2018 17:45 #328100

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Regarding Shabbos/Motzei Shabbos Shluf what works for me.
Sleeping 8-9 hours Friday Night, falling asleep at the table before the chulent Shabbos day. Going in to bed for a 3 hour nap in the afternoon. Falling asleep already at 11pm Motzei Shabbos for at the kitchen table for another 8 hours.
I was extremely tempted to act out last night. I told myself, let me just eat Melava Malka first, next thing I know it is past 7am.

Guess I really need my Shluf...
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 12 Mar 2018 22:42 #328159


Markz wrote on 11 Mar 2018 14:25:
coffee to be had before the Sabbath day meal, so the meal doesn't act like a sleeping pill.


1)I find that while caffeine helps me to focus and daven better, and i need a least one cup  before Shacharis, i am thinking that i  have to be careful about overdoing it especially later in the day...no telling what an effect it could have on my lust  or mood. 
2) BH i have a long walk to a shiur Shabbos afternoon. The  walking is great for me and the shiur is very inspiring and stimulating. (chose to minimize the Shabbos afternoon nap in favor of the walk & shiur)
3) Even so, i have to share what I have learned at 12 Step meetings called "HALT" which refers to triggers to be avoided (hunger,angry lonely and tired).
Last Edit: 12 Mar 2018 23:02 by aryehdovid85. Reason: addition

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 25 Apr 2018 01:52 #330241

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"Death to the Sinners"           (Parsha Achrei)

This week's Torah portion spells out in no uncertain terms - the consequence of illicit relationships is כרת - excommunication.

What is כרת?
You all know the literal meaning. Let's take it to the next level

R' Chaim of Volozhin z"l would say that ones current situation creates his reality. If one sins, the sin itself is the punishment of Gehinom. In the same vein we can explain that כרת too is the reality of ones existence.

"The first recovering alcoholics, out of whose experiences the Twelve Step program was forged, had a tough saying: "Find God or die!" Alcohol has a way of destroying the body. In a different sense, this is also our dilemma: "Find your true Connection or lose your self!" Lust has a way of destroying the soul" (White Book pg 93)

"There are few things so pitiful as an aborted spiritual life. The amazing thing is that we can give the appearance of life, even though we are dead" (ibid pg 93)

#MakeLifeGreatAgain
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Last Edit: 25 Apr 2018 01:54 by Markz.

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 09 Aug 2018 15:58 #334483

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This is for those gyes swimming the tide, holding onto to today's plank (daf);

"Ben Poras Yosef... Alei Ayin" - Yosef's eye did not want to enjoy something (Potifar's wife) that was not his, therefore Shilo in his portion merited extra area for eating its Kodshim, i.e. from where it can be seen.

Rav Papa added - All of Shilo need not be visible. It suffices if part of it can be seen. Zevachim 118b 

This is in the merit of Yosef's guarding his eye from even a partial look 
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Last Edit: 09 Aug 2018 16:01 by Markz.

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 09 Aug 2018 17:29 #334484

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Markz wrote on 09 Aug 2018 15:58:
This is for those gyes swimming the tide, holding onto to today's plank (daf);

Hey, I feel excluded.

Nice vort! Thanks!
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 10 Aug 2018 17:02 #334551

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Where can a Jewish lustaholic work, and where not? Do you ride the subway concerned of opposite gender bumping... or sitting next to opposite gender on the plane and want to know if it's ok or not?

This shiur by R' Zev Cohen shlita based on the words of R' Moshe Feinstein zl is
a m a z i n g!!!

www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=64501

If I had the time I'd transcribe it... check it out :-)
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Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 15 Aug 2018 13:51 #334694

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Markz wrote on 10 Aug 2018 17:02:
Where can a Jewish lustaholic work, and where not? Do you ride the subway concerned of opposite gender bumping... or sitting next to opposite gender on the plane and want to know if it's ok or not?

This shiur by R' Zev Cohen shlita based on the words of R' Moshe Feinstein zl is
a m a z i n g!!!

www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?v=64501

If I had the time I'd transcribe it... check it out :-)

Hi Markz,

I listened to all 3 parts of this Series and relistened to this specific one twice. It might be my clogged head, however I didn't hear any answers to those questions. In one sentence, if I can sum it up, It sounded like he is saying everyone needs to be his own judge and pasken for himself.
I got a stinking thinking problem, so I don't think I can have the clarity necessary to make an unbiased decision.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 11 Jan 2019 05:58 #338385

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markz wrote on 08 May 2016 14:30:
To fight or Not to fight - That is the question:

Some captive women were redeemed and brought to Neharda'a. They were kept in the attic of Rav Amram the Chasid; the ladder was removed.

A beam of light reflected from one of the women. Rav Amram was seized with lust. He moved the ladder to ascend (normally, 10 people are needed to move it). As he was halfway up, he screamed 'there is a fire in Rav Amram's house!' (Kiddushin 81)

Rav Amram intended to teach his students with this, that debates and confrontation against the YH are not recommended in times of need, rather other tools should be used (Rada'l), e.g. calling a fellow GYE or Group call

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
*******************************************

Parshas Achrei - GYE Wrote:

Dear MosheF,

Please read the Ohr Hachayim Hakadosh on this page. It sure sounds to me like he's talking about lust addiction! He directly addresses the complete powerlessness that a person who is caught up in lust will experience. He suggests that the only way to succeed in this area is by completely avoiding visual and mental stimulation. (If the Ohr Hachayim had lived today where this solution is close to impossible - and where the entire world's sewage is available with the click of a mouse, who knows - he may have come up with a 12-Step program! :-).

But listen to this: The Ohr Hachayim also touches upon the core of the 12-Steps in this very piece. He writes that for those who are already caught up in lust (read: addicts) they cannot do it on their own, and that ONLY Hashem can ultimately save them from this powerful Yetzer Hara.

TRANSLATION IS INCLUDED HERE

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!



Rabbi Avraham J. Twerski wrote: If one can, it is a segula to read this section at the kever and ask that in his zechus Hashem should help

I just learned the Gemara, and I right away thought of this point, and I said to myself, I wonder if anyone on gye brought this up? Quick forum search told me I'm not Christopher Columbus

Thanks markz for this great post.
Last Edit: 11 Jan 2019 05:59 by Hakolhevel.
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