Bigmoish wrote on Unknown:

I don't have that exact issue of wanting to M in bed at night but many times when I can't sleep that is what I do.The reason I said a serious limud is because for me I need to feel a sense of accomplishment in order to really feel good. So I don't mean learning in bed. I mean getting out and sitting by a desk or table and hocking shtickr. Until the drowsiness sets in so you close the sefer and go to bed. Feeling good in general, in other words feeling like a mentch sometimes helps for this problem. Believe me you will be soooooo much happier if you did some serious learning than if you ........ But if you lie there feeling hopeless that you most likely to fall while you are just waiting for the night to be over while white nuckling the night away, the prognosis isn't very good.

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on Unknown:

If I was given the test while lying in bed to either get out of bed and do some serious learning, or masturbate, I would choose masturbation 10 times out of 10. Perhaps 1000 out of 1000. My brain doesn't really allow me to think about how much more satisfying a blatt Gemara would be.
If I was sitting by the Gemara and would want to get into bed to masturbate, perhaps seichel could win out a couple of times. But it would never get me out of bed!
Glad this works for you.
Keep it up.

Moish I think 10 times a night is a little much

Obviously if the problem is the urge to masturbate you are right, but I was addressing aydown who said that his problem stems from not being able to sleep. I quote Waydown "Basiclly the good old problem. Not being able to fall asleep, twisting and turning till i swallow my lust pill called masturbation."

Hashivalisesonyishecho,

My problem is that masturbation soothes me to sleep. Like a loli pop. I dont' see learning gemara as a likely option to sooth me to sleep. Yes i can't sleep without my lust pill. I am not sure how you think gemara helps. And frankly when I am tired and its late at night I can't really learn even a teshuva sefer. What has helped is just listening to "kosher" secular podcasts (Kosher secular mya be an oxymoron but I mean that no sexual content or just rated G content.) Eventually I dose off albiet it can take some time. But two  probelms even with that. 1) I need the will power even to do that. Its much easier, less time consuming and more self gratfying to just masturbate. To me its like my morning coffee. It just changes my night by so much. 2) When I wake up for my kids at 3 am, I surely ain't learning then nor am I even listening to podcasts. At that time I just half sleepingy grab the nearest sleeping pill which is masturbation.

I know alot has been said on the fact that we must realize that we don't NEED lust or sex. But I feel like I do "need" it to fall asleep. It will require not sleeping for a month or two to buck the habit. I just lack the will power for such a commitment even though its what I should do.

waydown wrote on Unknown:

I used to be just like that also. Now I am not.

waydown wrote on Unknown:


I don't get it. It sounds like you would stop if it didn't mean a month or two of no sleep. So why don't you learn in bed- get a Torah app on your cell and learn which I guarantee you will make you fall asleep.

You already said that you don't have the motivation to learn, but if you can stop for a few nights and learn in bed, I'd almost guarantee that you can fall asleep. Then stop after that bc then it won't take a month.

But I suspect that's not the issue. You're giving all the reasons not to stop, so might it be that you just don't want to stop yet?

Workingguy wrote on Unknown:

It Does sound like WD is lacking the willpower to stop. But hey, that is sometimes the entire struggle. It is trying to garner the willpower to get us over the hump, or to seek the help we need.
Whatever the case, don't give up, keep chipping away at it, and eventually you'll quit it.

Yesod wrote on Unknown:

I am not sure if I would reach the same conclusion as you. For many, willpower is simply not enough.

B'hatzlachah to all.

Btw great thing to learn in bed IS Igros Moshe. Try Orach Chaim since all the topics are familiar, many are very practical, and all are very interesting twist on what we do by rote every day (dont open one during chazoras hashatz as you sometimes cant wait to finish the story). 
WD I started from page one through three on this thread then skipped to last page so I missed the middle. Did you ever start the AA book or SA or join any group (phone or live)?

Good thing I dont read Yiddish or I would slug you . Btw in Hilchos Yom hakippurim (forgot which chelek) R Moshe has some teshuvos to people struggling with lust (one with MZL issues one to a girl who was involved with a boy etc.). Read how caring, understanding and non-judgemental he was. Even gave the girl unsolicited advice about how to go about shidduchim. Makes ya feel a litter better about this.

You should learn Yiddish








what is a slug? Is that a slow moving thingy

Orach Chaim Chelek 4, 116-118. 

115 is a Teshuva about SSA, I have what to say but not here....

Yea about the SSA one remember in his time it was very different.