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obormottel Thursday, 23 November 2017

I was in a grocery store, unloading my cart on the counter, and behind me was an attractive lady. She began unloading her stuff from the cart on the same counter as well. It was very triggering to me. I was turning back and forth for my stuff, and she was so close to me, also moving back and forth, I couldn't avoid her, I couldn't close my eyes.

Not being able to remove this trigger, I felt the taaveh overpowering me, I felt like giving up, and for an addict like me, drinking just a bit in the form of looking for a moment and letting my fantasy go means falling back totally.

Then, I recalled what Dov (from SA) told me once. I closed my eyes for a moment, and I tried to imagine her troubles: she has to cover the rent, she has family troubles, health problems, etc., and I prayed for Hashem to grant her all her heart's wishes. At that moment, the trigger/taaveh disappeared completely and I even felt rachmones for her.

Since then I use this method a lot, and it helps, b"h.