The Library

Someone asks Dov: I am trying to understand the psychological factors in sexual acting out. I am, as far as I am aware, a popular, respected and emotionally balanced person. I grew up in an emotionally stable home and environment, and I cannot recall anything specific ...

I can't believe it has been one month. It seems like yesterday that I installed a filter and turned away from that world.A big thanks to everybody in this community, you have helped me in such a big way. My world used to be a rollercoaster ride. GYE has changed that by g...

The 12-Steps typically shy away from engaging much in deep analysis of what our deep motivations are in our acting out. To me, such study is likely to be mental 'self pleasuring' (sorry for being crass) and often just another righteous attempt at being independent of G-d,...

A story sent to us by "Zemirosshabbos" from a blog called Tikkun My wife and I had a newly-wed couple over as guests for the Friday night meal this past Shabbos. We knew the husband, who had grown up in my wife's neighborhood and went to the same shul as my father-in-law;...

An Indian non-Jew wrote to the filter gabai: I am very disheartened by pornography availability on internet. All our sages in India like Buddha, Mahavira, Guru Nanak, etc suggested us to avoid a provocative environment in the first 12 years of celibacy practice (which is ...

The first 3 Steps of the 12-Steps state: 1. We admitted we were powerless over lust--that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to ...

Rav Chaim Shmulevitz brings a ritvoh in Yuma (54b). The gemorah says, that when the non-Jews entered the kodesh hakodoshim to destroy the bais hamikdosh, they found the keruvim embracing each other and they made fun of the Jews. The ritvoh asks, that it says in bava basra...

I was doing shnayim mikreh and I encountered unkelus' translation of eloheyhem. The passuk says that Hashem inflicted punishment on Egypt's elohim. Unkelos translates it as "Ta'vusehon", which comes from the word "Ta'us" or mistake. The gods of Egypt were false gods, or i...

The business of seeing my struggle as all focused on becoming the kind of person who would never have a strong desire to act out again, has nothing - and I mean nothing to do with recovery. Granted, a person who takes his recovery seriously will eventually be mostly free ...

Hello Reb Guard Shlita, From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the tremendous work you have done and are continuing to do. May Hashem continue to bless you with much success in all areas of yours and guardyoureyes growth. July 19th will be my 365th day clean, making T...

R' Duvid Chaim, First, thank you. Second, thank you. And of course, third... and onwards. And as you said, the program is not about lust. As a byproduct of getting rid of resentments and fears, lust disappears. I am certainly not cured, but I can sense that the promises o...

In our presentation to the Gedolim last week, we described our "Prevention Tips for Parents" that Torah Umesorah hopes to send out to nearly 700 schools in the U.S, hopefully reaching over 100,000 parents. Click here to download the PDF file called "Prevention Tips for Pa...

Where I quote 'lo ayacheil', with respect to the problem, the way it actually works in real life is that many folks sacrifice chunks of their life - their spirituality, their relationships, their families, and jobs. So, in a twisted and very sad sort of way, the first par...

As we announced in the Chizuk e-mail of July 8th, me and my partner were just on a trip to talk about our work before the Gedolim and to try to get their Haskama to send out our materials to the Torah Umesorah school network (almost 700 schools in the U.S). I apologize fo...

The facts don't change for an addict in recovery. The addiction is STILL much stronger and, as far as I know, always will be. The only way out is never to let the addiction in the drivers seat. Keep the real you in charge, as much as it may hurt. And it doeshurt... and yo...

If I went to some convention of Orthodox Jews and asked what them "Tell me, what kind of people would you expect to find among a group of people that are admittedly out of control in their lusts, who all have spent hundreds if not thousands of hours watching pornography, ...

This is a poem I wrote about us, all of us on the GYE forum who have made a decision, held our noses and taken the terrifying plunge. Sometimes we think "let's be real here, what's the likelihood we'll ever manage to put this behind us?". Well, with that attitude we defin...