There is a Third Way

by Aaron (See all authors)

The facts don't change for an addict in recovery. The addiction is STILL much stronger and, as far as I know, always will be. The only way out is never to let the addiction in the drivers seat. Keep the real you in charge, as much as it may hurt. And it doeshurt... and you may wonder why you should put up with the pain when the balm is so readily available? Why live in a state of pain, lack of fulfillment, boredom, lethargy, irritation, etc. etc. It's so easy to make it all go away!! The only answer I've found, is when you realize that in the long run (and medium run too), the pain of acting out is MUCH WORSE. It's what they call hitting rock bottom. Until you're convinced, with absolute certainty, that they pain of acting out is worse than the pain of living, that it will kill you and ruin your life, then it's hard to let the real you stay in charge.


This all sounds pretty depressing. I'm essentially saying that you have to pick the lesser of two evils - the choice is between pain on one hand, and more pain on the other. Pretty bleak.

BUT - and this part has to be take on faith in the beginning - there is a third way. There is a way of fulfillment. Happiness. Productivity. Healthy relationships. Kedusha V'taharah. It just takes time to get there. For me most of the time, the only defense I have is the knowledge that acting out is worse than the pain I'm experiencing now. But every once in a while, I get a taste of why it's all worthwhile. What REAL living is all about. And it's a lot sweeter than lust. It's positive and eternal, not fleeting and damaging. It's why we're here.