The Library

The first order of business when beginning to work the steps, is to get sober and remain sober by getting reasonably comfortable with the practice of asking for help when lust strikes. Asking for help is good a sign that the addict has finally come to believe that he is a...

"JIP", as he is known for short, has had a very painful life. It started when he was molested at the age of nine. See his painful story on this page. Here is what "JIP" wrote when he reached 90 days clean: 90 days! I owe a thank you to everyone for helping me get here, b...

Today is Yesod Sh'b'Yesod in the Seffirah. The word Yesod means "Connection". Every human has an inborn subconscious need for connection to something "bigger" than themselves. Often this need is misinterpreted and we try to fill it with money, honor and pleasures. See thi...

The Gr"a asks: If we were not "good" in eretz yisroel with a beis hamikdash and with nevi'im, then how in the world are we to ever get better out of eretz yisroel and without any neviim?! A good question, no? His answer is that there is just no other way to get better whe...

By "Jack" (Clean for 1.5 years. See his 90 day time-line here) "Ain simcha b'makom sheyetzer hara sholet - there is no happiness in the place that the Yetzer Hara reigns". This is brought by the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch in the halachos of sheva brachos, as a reason for men t...

Ever been on a train riding directly parallel to another train? If your train is going 98mph and the other train is going slightly faster, at 99mph... In relation to the other train, it will seem as though your train is actually going backwards. Lesson: Never judge yourse...

Encouraging people to put in filters and warning them of the dangers of the internet is good, but these are just "patches". The real prevention is something else entirely. After all, even with filters, our kids (and ourselves) can still buy an unlimited internet access ce...

Someone wrote on the forum: Today I was in mid town and I don't know how it is possible to go there! Every woman walking down the street is another nisayon. Seriously, it's almost impossible. Help! Thank G-d I have glasses, so I can take them off, but seriously, I almos...

The first shrink we went to after my wife found out about my acting out (and had decided to divorce me) said to us: "you do not really have a marriage problem here. Well, maybe you do, but overshadowing the entire thing is another problem: Your husband is a very sick man....

When the forum was down, "Commando" continued posting his thoughts on his PC. Once it came back up he shared this with us: It's been three nights already since the GYE forum has mysteriously vanished. When will it be resurrected? How many people are feeling the loss? It's...

"V'im beheimah asher yakrivu mimena korban laShem kol asher yitein mimenu laShem yiyeh kodesh (27:9) And if an animal which you will bring from it a sacrifice for Hashem, whatever he shall give from it to Hashem will be holy." If someone who is led by his animalistic desi...

We received a warm mention in this week's Mishpacha Magazine's Family First. Click here to see the comments from a reader. (If the words appear too small to read in your browser, click on the image to enlarge it) We were mentioned in Mishpacha 3 months ago as well. Click ...

In the groups, we have learned that professing one has "finally really hit bottom" is silly. The only time it becomes clear to anyone that a person has hit bottom is after they find they have taken real steps to change the way they live. That is the closest thing to any p...

I had been able to stop Mast**ing about 5 years ago. I do not remember when, but I think about a year and a half after stopping, I had a fall. Now here I was on this great streak, and BAM! My first thought was, "how can I face this and keep this up? Will I be able to go...

Just wanted to share a quick story. Last night I was coming home on the train, it was pretty late and there were all of these drunks coming home from parties and such, and of course everyone was dressed very immodestly. Out of nowhere, I felt mamash trapped in the good ol...

My wife doesn't understand how smart it can seem to me to chase lust! And she probably can never, either. That's probably a good thing. Though acting on lust is probably the very stupidest thing I can ever do in any situation - and makes life's troubles worse, never bette...

When I first realized that I had pornography addiction about 3 years ago, I struggled for about a little over a year to overcome it on my own. I was very poor and couldn't afford the treatment, neither was I ready to admit to another human being the nature of my problem. ...

Welcome back everyone. Thanks to Guard & his platoon for the restoration of the forum. I want to share two events from when the site was down. The first event: a dream where I was watching a movie, late at night. And in the dream, my hand started to slip down. And whi...