rocky21 wrote on 22 Dec 2024 21:10:

Echoes of the parsha here. Maybe it's not exactly Yosef Hatzadik and eishes Potiphar. But it's an echo of that same righteous spirit. Ashrecha!

Keep on making us proud (and also super-jealous of your strength!)

And btw. What are you doing differently from now on to dissuade these types of situations from developing in the future?

ROCKSTAR!!!

Thank you all for the kind words appreciate it so much
That story was a win but also what happened that day was that I was talking to her and it got like pretty deep and emotional talking about like our friendship (Wich in its self can be problematic and yes our connection is probably to close as for a religious guy would like it to be)and how sometimes she can get offended and she started to cry also anyway  very embarrassingly I was erected during this time because of this and some zera came out of course not on purpose, like I feel terrible but at the same time I can't control my reaction but I could control the situation 
As for what I will do differently I will try not to get in to really deep conversation with them and keep it simple I guess 

If it came out in a non-ejaculatory way (you just got wet), it is probably what is referred to as pre-ejaculate. According to halacha, that would not be considered mz"l. Of course one should avoid getting to that matzav, because with a drop more triggering, it could be the real deal rach"l. It is wise to speak to a wise rebbi how to set up boundaries with co-workers to avoid nisyonos. Besides the obvious practical benefits of doing so, one receives syatta d'shmaya - if we do what we can, HKBH assists us that much more. Hatzlacha buddy.

yiftach wrote on 22 Dec 2024 21:15:

Exceptionally eloquent.
Could not have said it better myself

58 days clean bh!!
I'm so happy where I am now and looking forward to where I am going 
I am a little frustrated with myself because i felt like I didn't do anything better when I was next to her again and like didn't learn anything from last time

well, not comparing, just thought that the "saying it straight to her" mehalech might be the best:
when a certain nisayon girl in my life wanted to get more comfortable in our relationship (we had been texting for a while) and as a 18/19 yr old yeshiva guy, I felt extremely guilty and had a hard time figuring out where/how to draw a line in the sand.
​in the end, I basically told her, "I've been thinking a lot, and I don't think that my having your number while I'm in yeshiva is healthy for me/my learning, so I'm going to delete it from my phone."

it's a little fuzzy on the exact details, but although I later had trouble still, it wasn't because we spoke frequently ever again. And she never texted me after that as far is I can recall.

59 days clean
Thank you all for your insight!!
Looking forward to putting them in to action next week