I’ve just joined and would love to share my story to get support from this amazing platform. I grew up pretty sheltered and innocent. When I was 12 (26 years ago) a friend invited me and brought me to his basement and promptly showed me a nude photo (no real porn vids in those days and it took time for pix to load). I succumbed and it would be a 3x weekly trip to his basement. Of course mutual hj’s and bj’s followed until I finished elementary school. This went on and off until I entered shidduchim when I stopped - thinking I was done for life. Enter Covid. After being clean of P&M and shmiras einayim for 12 years I stumbled during covid. Porn, phone sex, shmiras habris everything one can do without a partner. 
Though happily married, I couldn’t stop. 
I visited a therapist and it helped for a bit but any device I encountered was dangerous. I filtered computers and phones. Recently I moved into a new office and a non filter able screen was there. BH I cut the internet chord 2 days ago. Yesterday I stumbled into 800 numbers and BH was motivated to sign up to GYE. It’s especially painful as I’m a rebbe… My talmidim gave me a gift card as a present and I used it…. on phone sex. So embarrassing and I shudder to think of my trial upstairs….. 

I'm sharing this with the hope my expressing myself will lead to my keeping my commitment to being here going. 

gut shabbos!

Welcome Brother!!
You have entered a place of  warm, caring help.
Help from people that are or were in the exact same place as you.
Help from people who have vanquished the monster ( at least for a very large while- there is no real vanquishing עד יום מותו).
Unfortunately, the beginning of your story is a very common one. However, fortunately, the end of your story, the part where you successfully become the person you dream of being, that part is pretty common too. 
Stick around. Read some threads . Learn & grow. There is a wealth of pain and healing in these hallowed halls.
Hatzlocha!

Welcome, dear friend! You are now part of the most wonderful family. We care about you, we want to hear from you, and we stand by you to help as much as we can. My friend, you can be free! stick around, learn the ropes, and beH you'll soon be on the way up!

Welcome! Don't despair. You are doing all the right things and I'm sure you'll find support and hatzlacha.

Kol tov!

Welcome! 
GYE is a place of hope! 
Stick around to meet the chevra, learn some new ideas, and begin to grow into the person you want to be.

(At the risk of being slightly audacious, I would suggest reaching out to HHM-Hashem Help Me. [michelgelner@gmail.com] He has helped hundreds, present company included. If it seems too daunting at this point, wait. The time will come.)

Hatzlacha and keep us in the loop!

Thank you for sharing. You are in great company . Opening up to other people is difficult but is so worth it when you are ready. Many of us have been in your place - some in much worse places…

Looking forward to your success
Vehkam

Welcome to the GYE community. It was great of you to make your first post. There are a disproportionate number of people on the forum who are in chinuch and you are not alone. Eerie is one of them and you may benefit from reading his thread: https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/388203-Its-all-in-the-name Many people have also reached out to him.

I suggest that you do the Flight to Freedom program and regularly read The Battle of the Generation which many people on GYE are reading. Here is the link to the e-book: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation Keep on posting and sharing and make friends. Rooting for you.

You have come to the right place. I can very much relate to your feelings, as I fell as well after a long clean streak.
You will see here that it is possible to break free, and live without the terrible, nagging feelings if guilt.
Often it is helpful to search within ourselves, as to what is it that pushes us to turn to lust. Is it some sort of escape or crutch? This helped me immensely be aware of what to look out for, and avoid the falls.
Welcome!

Reb Muttel, you must be an amazing Rebbi to get such a nice present. 

You will be BeH pleasantly surprised by how easy it will be too change your life and clean up!!

Stay around, read some threads, learn new mindsets, connect with others. Stay living!

Just to keep my thread going here - BH I'm at day 6 now, had some intense moments where I almost fell, but BH I'm still clean. I'm looking to get to 30 days first before focusing on bigger goals. But as we all know, TODAY is my goal for now..................... So here's hopin' that I along with all the tayare kedoshim here succeed to eradicate this monster, forever.

L'Chaim!
Muttel

!!חזק ואמץ

An elderly yid in my neighborhood passed away a while ago, and everybody was talking about his mesiras nefesh he had multiple times throughout his life. My chaver told me that we don’t have such people like this anymore.

That might be true, but every generation has a nesoiyen that requires mesires nafesh ממש. Being part of this community gives me the opportunity to see our generation’s mesires nefesh in action.

Thanks for posting.

I'm happy to report that I have now begun my second week on GYE, clean!
As we go into Shabbos and ready ourselves to sing the timeless words of שלום עליכם, I contemplate the remarkable, angelic support of true מלאכי שרת on this forum, and I think to myself:
HHM מימיני
EERIE ומשמאלי
VEHKAM מלפני
CHAIM OIGEN ומאחורי
But most of all, what we gain from GYE is the magical, warm feeling that
ועל ראשי שכינת קל...
 Gut Shabbos!
"Muttel"

Beautiful!!!

Muttel wrote on 17 May 2024 13:55:

And don't forget to add yourself! 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I?"

 Gut Shabbos!

Good Going!
Keep it up!