optomisim wrote on 25 Dec 2020 20:39:

Don't feel loserish, I think you should feel immensely strong. The yezter hora's main goal isn't to get you to fall (although he'd very much like that as well), rather it is to keep you down and rolling in the mud once you do fall. You should be very proud of dusting yourself off and restarting, often the first day is the hardest and requires the most effort. 

the first day is only hard because we tend to feel we are back at square one, which is certainly not the case. when we fall we get up from the place we fell not from the place we previously fell. whatever we achieved before the fall is ours forever.
​ODAAT isn't just a strategy, it's a fact that our duty is only to concentrate on today, not on yesterday or tomorrow. who cares whether it's day one or day 1001, today we only think about today.  

optomisim wrote on 25 Dec 2020 20:39:

You are mixing up your feelings. Day 1 is the part you (should) feel good about. The day before day 1 is what you are really feeling bad about. Why are you looking at the part of day 1 representing the fact that the day before you lost? Focus on the reality of it being a day where you will start a clean streak again. 

If you insist on viewing every day through the prism of its yesterday, start to view day one as tomorrow's clean yesterday.

We certainly don't feel "nebach on you."

While you may be struggling in the taavah / self-discipline / anxiety area,  you are very much the hero of the hour in the "courage category."

Each day has it's particular avoda. Every person has his specific avodas hashaah (see very end of last perek of mesilas yesharim- perek 26).... Embrace that avoda and run with it!

Keep us posted,

I.M.G.

Looks like all these replies are trying to get optimism to be optimistic! And for the record, what the oilam wrote here is emes l'amito! 

I actually agree with optimism - starting again should make you be loserish לא-זר-איש Don’t be a stranger man ! Post on the forum share your struggles with an understanding supportive group of regular guys like you are,it’s helped so many of us.
As far as the nebach thing , I doubt anyone feels that way , most of us have been there done that , rarely does someone just come on here and tada  
Mr kodosh vtahaor , it’s a process , so give yourself a chance and don’t get in the way by putting yourself down .

This made me smile.
Thank you

I am sending this late I thought I posted this already but must have forgotten to press submit. Chevra I really really appreciate the chizuk that everyone is giving. It  is really making a dent in my yetzer hara mindset of feeling unempowered and low. Thank You. Your all Mamish Tzaddikim!

We are here for you!! Come hang out!