Usually I tell myself "Let's act out again!" But I don't actually have any worthwhile strategies

13 days is amazing!!

What I tell myself after a fall depends on what led to the fall so it may be worthwhile thinking about that.
But there is no reason a fall yesterday should affect anything today. Personally I focus on 'accumulated days' rather than the current streak. I think that every day, every complete 24 hours and most importantly, every minute of every struggle should be remembered and treasured as an independent victory regardless of whether the battle it ended in victory or temporary defeat

That's a good question. It's really hard for me to get excited anymore. I think I was only "pumped up" the first time. After that it's just the reality of it, day in day out the same boring struggle.

For me the question is not about getting excited, it's just about getting up. We have to learn how to fight even when it's not exciting.
Take some time to figure yourself out, to reconsider why you are fighting and build on that. We all have a reason why we are fighting, it shouldn't be emotional, like guilt, it was for me, for a long time and I was doomed. 

One thing that really changed my perspective is recognizing that I am growing and being confident in myself that I am doing everything in my power to get better. I realized that it's not about success or failure, rather about not giving up.

Keep at it and be confident that you are doing all you can.

Hatzlacha!

All good points everyone. Thanks for the chizuk. Round 2 has begun. 

wilnevergiveup wrote on 05 May 2020 20:55:

I like that, you know, I completely lost it at my kids, so badly I needed to take some time out and lie down, about 5 mins later I walked out the bedroom my wife asked am I okay, I said, 'yeah I just lost it, whatever, get up and move on' and she thought that was a healthy attitude.

Hi guys, for the near future I’ll be posting from my phone(the only site I have access to is gye-my wife has the restrictions passcode FYI) because yesterday I was able to change our filtering software so that my wife gets the weekly tracking reports in her email. My wife doesn’t know I have a problem so she thinks we have a filter/tracker as insurance of sorts. The reports were sent to a different email address that she no longer uses, and she didn’t care to look at them, and that is what made this so hard because I knew how to bypass the filter(though not the tracker) and she wasn’t looking at the website history as it was sent to an old defunct email address. But now she’ll get the weekly reports again! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while without alerting her to my problem but couldn’t do so without alerting her to my addiction. But yesterday she mentioned that our filter was blocking some (appropriate) sites she wanted to use and asked if I could delete the filter (just shows you how clueless women are). I spent some time her password was easy to guess and made the adjustments so she gets the reports now. I mad a long randomized password , sent it to her and deleted the text message so I don’t have the password and can’t guess it. (I won’t use the desktop version bc she will wonder why I’m on gye every day now that she’ll get the weekly tracking summary. )This makes things so much easier beCause 99% of relapses were on my laptop. Thank God! The challenge will continue but this is a major major boost. For the first time ever I feel like 90 days is really within reach. It’s hard to type on a phone so I hope what I write makes sense. My future posts will Have to be shorter. 

on a diff note check out session one of this free self help webinar 

It’s really good and you can email the guy to sign up before April 10th his email is towards the end of the video. It’s not addressing addiction specifically but growth and change more generally but it seems clear from the presentation that he has a lot to say about addiction also. 

I have a lot more to say but it’s really hard to type from a phone. Stay strong everyone!

Looks like the link didn’t get pasted so I pasted it in the group chat check there very worthwhile! 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1txkQPe_m97qi0aA3d_3Du87Y682VqGSV/view

here is the link to the google drive version of the seminar I mentioned in my previous post in case you don’t have YouTube. Have a great Shabbos everyone.

TheFighter99 wrote on 08 May 2020 01:28:

Hi fighter. To have access to that drive id need to have google open on my phone and that’s a dangerous idea for me... not much different than youtube.
i have no google drive... just a simple sex drive... just have to keep on truckin’

One week in the books, level 3 reached, on to day 8. These past 7days have been fairly easy due to my new situation. Now my computer and phone are secure. We still have 2 unfiltered tablets, but I have no reason to be on those in the first place so those aren’t as much as a challenge , the biggest challenge is that I would get distracted while on my computer, and right now that problem is solved.  Still need to keep my guard up but as long as I don’t go looking for trouble, 90 days is in the bag. Especially if I can get out of the house and get a new job soon ...
:-/

TheFighter99 wrote on 11 May 2020 10:41:

If Moses would be around he would throw them down the mountain

TheFighter99 wrote on 11 May 2020 10:41:

It's very ambitious to say 90 days is in the bag when you're less than 10% of the way there. It's also very dangerous. Mamish playing with mental fire

Still going strong, but I’m so so heartbroken that user @pickamoniker decided to drop the fight. It’s obvious that he’s in tremendous pain over his impending divorce and not headed to a good place, and I wish there was something I could do to help, but I’m still a rookie at this. Can one of you experienced guys email him to try to bring him back or something? He put his email in his last post.
@ pickamoniker don’t leave us:sob:! Praying for you bro!

TheFighter99 wrote on 13 May 2020 12:08:

Let him see the chevra here care and want to see him back in the GYE family. At the same time, let him mourn and give him space. It is a real traumatic situation. He was a massive inspiration for so many of us; we would have assumed he deserved better. Nistarim darkei Hashem.

Is sleepy the new Trouble?