Hi everyone!
I'm a married guy in my 30's who has been struggling with this for around 5 years. I've had some minor successes in this battle, but have not gotten the freedom I'm looking for as of yet. But today is a new beginning! I've signed up for GYE and am starting the 90 day chart today. Any tips and words of encouragement are appreciated, Thanks!

Kol Tuv,
TheFighter 

TheFighter99 wrote on 20 Apr 2020 11:02:


Take the struggle only “one day at a time.” Try never to focus on the future or wonder how we will manage. We must learn to live in the present only, focusing on staying "clean" or "sober" right NOW. When we focus on the future, we can easily fall. It’s like someone walking a tightrope; if he looks down, it becomes so much harder not to fall. Therefore, when feeling weak we can tell ourselves, “just for today, I will stay clean.” “Just for this moment, I will stay clean.” The past and the future are out of our hands and belong only to Hashem. When we feel that we are about to fall, we may even tell ourselves that we reserve the right to act out tomorrow. We are not making a decision now for life. However, just for today we will do whatever we can to stay clean

GYE is hope, but not the answer. Hard work is the answer. Be prepared for the long haul. It's not a pill you take or some magical quick fix.

When the excitement wears of it's the ones who works hardest that make it through.

The most important thing is to never give up, even if you fall nit giving up is all that counts!

Post about your journey and post often.

Good luck! 

Welcome!

I am going to slightly disagree with willnevergiveup. GYE can be the answer! I have seen many people come on with their first post and then disappear for ever, but the people who keep coming back and really use GYE as a tool to help them (with hard work) get stronger in this area do very well. 

GYE helps in many ways and it was meant for people who can't seem to get past it with just hard work. The support system it provides can make the difference between ''hard work'' and actually climbing a mountain. 

We are all rooting for you!!! Hatzlach!

Day 1 is in the books-upward and onward to day 2. Thanks @DavidT for the advice, and @sleepy, @realestatemogul,@ wilnevergiveup  for the encouragement. 

@wilnevergiveup, you are undoubtedly correct that hard work is essential and that GYE doesn't obviate the need for that, but I'm hoping that if I continue the hard work that I've already been doing, coupled with the community aspect of these forums and the 90 chart of people who are growing together, that will be the magic combo that leads to success.

I'll post as as often as I can, but as things get busier post coronavirus I'll try to post at least once a week. Your feedback and comments are really valuable and much appreciated. Thanks and Have a great day! 

Sorry that I wasn't clear. I don't mean hard work is the answer (I have worked very hard for years with little success). 
What I mean is that GYE doesn't replace the need keep on working. It doesn't suddenly become easier rather GYE can be used as a tool to make our hard work succeed.

Hatzlachah!

Hi Everyone,

On to day #3. 

In the past I've used porn and masturbation basically as a drug to regulate painful or uncomfortable emotions, starting many years ago when one of my parents was terminally ill. A clean day where nothing ruffles me isn't much of an accomplishment.So yesterday some elderly lady in my building yelled at me for not wearing a facemask (due to covid-19), but the sign on the front door of the building said that masks are not mandatory (she must have missed it). That was upsetting, because since I wear a yarmulkah, I'm very sensitive that people shouldn't view orthodox jews as rule breakers in this (or any) area. I managed to ignore the negative emotions and stayed clean for the rest of the day. BH

Kol Tuv,
TheFighter99 

Day 3 is in the books. Yesterday was pretty easy thankfully
Level 2 reached, 4 days left till I reach Level 3. 

TheFighter99 wrote on 23 Apr 2020 15:27:

Level up!!!

Still doing good, on to day #5.
I kind of feel like shabbos and yom tov are cheat codes for winning the battle since we can't use technology. Feels like the old super mario video game where if you got the star you could knock out any bad guys just by touching them. Not complaining. I'll take whatever easy days I can get. 

A good shabbos to all. I'll post again on Sunday morning.

TheFighter99 wrote on 24 Apr 2020 11:36:

Yes but mario can still fall into a pit or be crushed by a block!!!

I remember the first time I acted out on Shabbos, I told myself, I couldn't possibly do that, it then goes into the world of melocha issurim all crazy stuff I'd tell myself, then one day I just, well, did it, and then I was not sober that day. Man.

@Singularity:
True ,and there is always saturday night after shabbos ends - but overall shabbos is a lot easier. On a different note,  I'm guessing from your profile photo you're a Dragonball Z fan? I could never really get into that,was more of a yu-gi-oh nerd myself

On to Day #7. Finished a niddah period recently so hoping to get some positive momentum towards my (>=) 90 day goal.

Have a great week y'all,
TheFighter99 

TheFighter99 wrote on 26 Apr 2020 12:42:

avatar the last airbender!!!!

Day 7 is in the books, level 3 reached! On to day 8