Welcome, Guest

filter.. or maybe not
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2

TOPIC: filter.. or maybe not 6426 Views

filter.. or maybe not 08 Sep 2019 10:40 #343424

  • jack123
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 73
  • Karma: 1
OK, so im on one of my longest streaks in a long long time, and im bh still going strong. there was one thing I changed this time which helped me tremendously, and that is ..no internet filter.
every time I tried stopping I would put some sort of block or filter and than I would always find a situation where there was no block from accessing stuff, either a different place or device or removing it myself when possible.
 I realized that what was happening ,was, that as soon as it was blocked I would let my inclinations run loose, bc I anyway couldn't do anything, and I be skyhigh with tayvah and ultimately would fall in one way or another
wheras now I left everything open and have to be on my toes the whole time. im forced to control myself 24 7, and once you've mastered self control, there is no loopholes.
so maybe filters aren't for everyone
so far so good ill keep updatingon my progress 
want to hear everyones opinion

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: filter.. or maybe not 08 Sep 2019 18:10 #343432

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
jack123 wrote on 08 Sep 2019 10:40:
every time I tried stopping I would put some sort of block or filter

Ok, you and I are in the same boat!

The block or filter for me was because I was trying to stop.

Until I discovered, that that’s actually not primarily what a filter is for... 
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: filter.. or maybe not 08 Sep 2019 19:17 #343434

  • gevura shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1248 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4178
  • Karma: 505
I got my drivers license, so now I don’t need the guardrail at the edge of the cliff...
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: filter.. or maybe not 08 Sep 2019 19:30 #343436

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8258
  • Karma: 428
Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 08 Sep 2019 19:17:
I got my drivers license, so now I don’t need the guardrail at the edge of the cliff...

Ok. But i said “We’re in the same boat”
That’s what happens when you get rid of the guardrail...

But if you drive a Monstah Truck why not just get rid of the entire cliff for all of us??
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: filter.. or maybe not 09 Sep 2019 03:04 #343442

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 2888 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4042
You are not the first, and presumably not the last, individual on the site that has found the filter to be "ipcha mistavra". However it is rare. For most people, a strong filter removes the nisayon when the urge strikes, and also protects all other members of the house. Being that rabbonim of all branches of Orthodoxy have all urged filters, it would probably be wise for anyone finding themselves in this situation to speak with their rav.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: filter.. or maybe not 09 Sep 2019 05:50 #343445

  • jack123
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 73
  • Karma: 1
i assume there is no wife or kids that can access the unfiltered phone/computer?
that's right, without going into technicalities its not a michshol for others.
thanks for being meorer.

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: filter.. or maybe not 09 Sep 2019 05:54 #343446

  • jack123
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 73
  • Karma: 1
Hashem Help Me wrote on 09 Sep 2019 03:04:
You are not the first, and presumably not the last, individual on the site that has found the filter to be "ipcha mistavra". However it is rare. For most people, a strong filter removes the nisayon when the urge strikes, and also protects all other members of the house. Being that rabbonim of all branches of Orthodoxy have all urged filters, it would probably be wise for anyone finding themselves in this situation to speak with their rav.

thanks, it helps to know that others feel the same. btw the rabbonim are talking preventively and for that a filter is necessary whereas here its 'leachar maaseh'...

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: filter.. or maybe not 09 Sep 2019 10:58 #343447

  • gevura shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1248 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4178
  • Karma: 505
Markz wrote on 08 Sep 2019 19:30:

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 08 Sep 2019 19:17:
I got my drivers license, so now I don’t need the guardrail at the edge of the cliff...

Ok. But i said “We’re in the same boat”
That’s what happens when you get rid of the guardrail...

But if you drive a Monstah Truck why not just get rid of the entire cliff for all of us??

And if your boat doesn’t have a railing you might slip and end up in the water. But hey, you have a big boat. So just drain the ocean. 
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: filter.. or maybe not 09 Sep 2019 15:28 #343459

  • lionking
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 966
  • Karma: 102
I tried draining the ocean of filth, but then I read a statistic, that each second, video sites get uploaded with enough content to view in a lifetime. I sure hope I have better things to do with my life.

I can identify with Jack well, as I have experienced the same thing. However I think Markz and GS expressed it well. I was viewing filters wrong. Filters aren't self driving cars, they are guardrails. If someone is hitting the guardrails too often, it's a sign he needs a refresher driving course.

Hatzlocha
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: filter.. or maybe not 09 Sep 2019 15:37 #343460

  • dave m
  • Current streak: 363 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 488
  • Karma: 33
Agree.  The best filters are the one that you don't try to breach. 

Re: filter.. or maybe not 10 Sep 2019 05:46 #343474

  • jack123
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 73
  • Karma: 1
the question is ,does it work because

1. you have to be on guard

or does it work

2. because now you have pas bisalo?

if number 2. is your answer , what will prevent you when you feel a need to make hamotzie?
good point, but pas besalo is said by amoroim who weren't neck deep in this stuff so that was enough for them, no way that that is gonna help. the reasoning is that im forced to work on self control, which makes the first stretch terribly hard but gradually gets easier

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: filter.. or maybe not 10 Sep 2019 22:40 #343492

  • stillgoing
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1700
  • Karma: 157
Dave M wrote on 09 Sep 2019 15:37:
Agree.  The best filters are the one that you don't try to breach. 

Great post!!
thank you.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: filter.. or maybe not 10 Sep 2019 22:50 #343493

  • stillgoing
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1700
  • Karma: 157
Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 08 Sep 2019 19:17:
I got my drivers license, so now I don’t need the guardrail at the edge of the cliff...


"INASTRUGGLE" post=343434 date=1567970248 catid=4
I am considering removing the railing by my staircase. It should be my responsibility not to walk too close to the edge of the stairs, and I can always jump over the railing anyways if I really want to. Just sayin .

my $.02.

BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com

Re: filter.. or maybe not 11 Sep 2019 10:38 #343505

  • jack123
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 73
  • Karma: 1
20 days and going strong
I read somewhere that you should keep telling yourself 'im sober' as opposed to saying 'don't do this and this'.  the hesber is [im thinking], that if you think yourself a bad guy however much you fight with it eventually you gonna rationalize that youre anyway bad so you should do it. but if you think your good than you wont let yourself do it. bottom line is your not gonna change who you are bc of this stuff, so if your good it wont change you bad and vise versa.
let me know what yall think

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: filter.. or maybe not 11 Sep 2019 11:28 #343506

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 2888 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4042
That is why it is so important not to beat yourself up for having urges. Urges are normal and even big tzaddikim have them. The yetzer hara comes along and says "You are a lowlife loser anyway - look at the thoughts and desires you have - just act out - why not? it's all the same." As you write, when someone thinks of himself positively - "I am a heilige yid!" and accepts himself as imperfect and that Hashem made all of us with desires, triggers, etc, and commanded us not to act on them, and those urges do not define me, then iyh it is so much easier to tell that yeyzer hara to go jump in the lake - "guys like me don't do such things".
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE
  • Page:
  • 1
  • 2
Time to create page: 0.70 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes