Hi everyone I decided to make myself comfortable on the 90 day chart.

B'h holding by day 2. I will try to post a little on my thread every day.




 Love Yankel!

Hi, thank you for your post, wishing you success in your recovery brother, I am sober today and I thank god for it, it feels great and I am serene! 

One more day clean. Yay!

Sundays tend to be way more challenging for me, as i am in the office by myself and it's so easy for me to watch the trash that i can't afford in my life. But b'h yesterday b4 going into my office i sent a text to a fellow GYE member and Made a mini TAPSCHIC that If I fall now by work i'll give $100 to GYE. Also I went to a chasunah were some girls not only were they dressed to kill, they positioned themselves in the men's section to try to get as much male attention as possible. but b'h despite the challenges i realized i can't afford that trash. It makes my life miserable and I rode the wave.

  Love Yankel!

RidingTheWaves wrote on 13 Aug 2018 13:23:

Do you mean that the girls were Wailing about the Wall, begging the Mechitza to be taken down, asking the boys to join the dance?
Im not sure who's wedding you went to, but I don't believe that's what happened

Yes that may have been your impression. 
Ideas impressed on my warped mind may think the same as you, but those girls were not looking for anyone's attention - sorry bro

So Yankel, when you're riding a wave, sometimes you need to check if the waters are actually tumultuous. Often the sea is calm, we create the tsunami in our head, may Gd save us from

Hi Mark, 

Your point was very well said, and extremely true in a lot of life's challenges. though this time it was a wedding of a friend who went through a rough period as a teenager as such a lot of his friends and the friends of his kallah who also went through a rough period were a bit rebellious and dressed as such and there was a lot of mingling and i guess trying to bring about more shidduchim  . You get the idea?

Day 4.

I went on a date last night that didn't go anywhere. As such i'm feeling down and extremely lonely today, so it's important for me to be aware of the way i'm feeling Accept my moods for what they are without judging myself for feeling this way, and realize that i'm more prone today to acting out. And be a bit more Compassionate with myself today. And ride this WAVE, Because like all waves eventually it will go down. But If I act out to deal with my strong emotion's at the moment, It will put me in a much worse off situation. So I CAN"T AFFORD THAT.

 Love Yankel!

RidingTheWaves wrote on 14 Aug 2018 14:08:

If I may provide some helpful perspective, dating is like interviewing for a job. From your point of view it has to be viewed like a statistical process. You will click with some portion of your dates, and you don't know which ones. You have to get past the ones where you don't click to get to the other ones. Therefore you are a "successful dater" as long as you click sometimes and don't click most of the time.

I really hope that makes sense.

Another way to think about it is to reward yourself for the process, not the product. If you dressed up, showed up on time, smiled, went somewhere fun, were open, etc then it was a success. The result doesn't matter.

And you kind of have to approach dating this way because the other way makes you look needy, and a woman won't give the time of day to a needy man.

Day 5

Last night was tough, i was feeling pretty down and lonely and i thought about acting out but i realized even though i'm feeling down I CAN'T AFFORD to act out. So I decided to take a bath (something that i never do anymore) and i was so impressed how calming it is too sit in hot water it really helped me to calm down!

This morning I had an extremely close call, pretty much i was looking for a list of shadchanim as i was looking for a certain shadchan's number so i googled it and it lead me to a link to a post on facebook (I was on a work computer that was mean't for people to do their private work as such it's not filtered. bad choice )  anyways on the side it shows you "people you might know" and there was a picture that was very tempting. without even thinking i clicked on it and it lead to a username with terrible pictures. B'h I got the strength and quickly exited. The whole ordeal lasted less than 10 seconds.
But i walked away realizing how strong my addiction was, even though right now i'm feeling extremely driven to stay clean without even thinking about it it lead me to automatically press on that stupid picture. B'h I got the strength to quickly exit! but that was a close call!

 I'm Grateful for another day of sobriety!

Day 6.

The waves were pretty calm yesterday, b'h.

 Thank you Hashem, for another day of sobriety!
 Regards Yankel.

Day 7.

One complete Week Clean B'h!

Have a great shabbos my friends.

 Love Yankel!

Day 9

​B'h I successfully navigated Friday, Shabbos and Motzai shabbos even though there were a few stressful moments during these past few days. Now I need to succesfuly navigate the waves on this sin day! #ICoulddoit # Iwilldoit!!!


 Lots of love Yankel!

Day 10
Double digits! YAY! 

Anyways heading to my third PA meeting tonight. It feels good heading to a meeting and not having to say sober since yesterday...........You get the Idea 

 Love you all Yankel!

Day 11

Today the waves are pretty calm b'h. I Hope they continue this way

 Love Yankel!

Day 12

Wow tomorrow i'm turning Bar Mitzva (lol) This is extremely exciting! Anyways all kidding aside b'h riding the waves good so far. B"h


 Love Yankel!