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An Old Timer's first step....
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TOPIC: An Old Timer's first step.... 5781 Views

Re: An Old Timer's first step.... 31 Dec 2017 15:03 #324474

  • Markz
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Old Timer wrote on 31 Dec 2017 08:06:
...Walking into the room with my head held low, feeling like and a jerk.

         ...Everyone around me is jeering and laughing at the ideal i believe in, perceiving me as a 'newbie' who lacks step one.

                        ...I am back, not because of a \n Addiction. Psychologists have evaluated my scenario, and i am NOT ADDICTED TO LUST. I do however "struggle" to keep my lust in check, and this great website and program of recovery worked for me in the past.

To be honest, totally honest. My filter settings is currently Rimon at its weakest, i have a twitter account just for shmutz, a tumblr acount just as a loophole for PORN, i have waste most of my day on youtube just trying to stay distracted, and i am masturbating to porn once every day or two.          That's the truth.

To be honest, i am not willing to start any relationship with a woman, because of the HUGE issurim involved in everything from mesaper ima machoreiu hageder, to actual physical contact, to outright sex with a nidah heshem yiracheim!!          0n the other hand, i have done so much masturbation and porn, that it has long ago been NAASEH KHETER, despote LONG periods of sobriety, it is just probably a lifelong NAASEH KEHETER.        damn!!!!

please respond freely, and let me get in touch with reality!!        My acquired defence mechanism of running away from  reality to an imaginary world IS WASTING MY LIFE AWAY!! 

No one laughing at you

You sound sick - very

When someone is unwell they need stamina to go to the right Dr.
Many of us do not gain with the forum, it's like going to a lightweight ENT for a serious Heart condition

May you see the light and have the strength to move towards it
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: An Old Timer's first step.... 31 Dec 2017 16:31 #324480

  • serenity
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Thanks for sharing. Sobriety is about much more than having periods where we don't watch porn or masturbate. The 12 steps which you mention is a program for living life. May God bless you with freedom from the bondage of self, friend. 
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
Last Edit: 31 Dec 2017 16:47 by serenity.

Re: An Old Timer's first step.... 31 Dec 2017 18:19 #324486

  • youcan
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I'm not addicted to lust (according to my therapist) but I'm lusting & I wanna stop (get under control). I tried numerous times to do it alone & I failed, I came here & saw a lot of people that tried other methods & succeeded. So I figured they must have the right approach.
Me in your shoes would find a way out of all the issurim you mentioned, (easier than masturbation - z"l) but I'm not letting the YH in, when I fall it's cuz I fell not because I decided to do it.
Get stronger, stop fooling yourself around.
It's not enough to feel bad for what we're doing, we gotta try to stop doing it.
Hatzlacha rabba!
I'm waiting for the positive news to come in.
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On the Way to 90-Days
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