70 days clean

I read this on a chizuk email: "I don't know what to do anymore. I have a huge headache, my scrotum is in pain. I feel like I will die if I don't give in!" - and this is exactly what is happening to me. It's such an annoying pain and I feel so much discomfort, brain fog and depression. I was so close to giving in yesterday because of the pain in my balls. I was seriously wondering about the health risks which abstinence could cause. I barely got through the day. I'm glad I didn't give in because today I feel so much better. Being young and single is such a downer. But I can't give in because I made vows to Hashem and I really need to stick to my promises. I'm afraid I will get terribly punished if I break a vow again. So I just need to keep going.

Sorry to hear you're going through a hard time. I think some people wish they were young and single, thereby gaining the opportunity to stop masturbating before they have grand kids. Anyways, I'm young and single too... So if you know any girls for me... Ok, jk. On a more serious note feel free to email me ihavestrength1@gmail.com. I can send you my number as well if you'd like to talk to someone. All the best. KUTGW

Manessmann wrote on 04 Sep 2017 01:18:

Dov gave a reply - on that email?

"Dov gave a reply - on that email?" Yes he did. And it's a very helpful reply which really helped me. I'm so grateful for those chizuk emails.

Manessmann wrote on 04 Sep 2017 02:03:

Have you listened to his calls?

@Ihavestrength
Thanks dude. Yeah you got a good point there, it's much better to get rid of the addiction before I find a woman and start a family.

No. What are they, like podcasts?

Manessmann wrote on 04 Sep 2017 01:18:

Mazel tov on 70 days! Incredible! When I was single it bordered on miraculous when I made it 7 hours (except when sleeping). Be reassured, there is nothing medical to worry about. Hashem made our bodies in a way that they take care of themselves. And once you iyh pass through this critical time clean, your body will adjust to your not making demands on it to overproduce zera. You are an inspiration for so many. Keep up the great work. They are celebrating in shomayim with you.

Manessmann wrote on 04 Sep 2017 02:17:

Recordings are amazing guardyoureyes.com/kosher-isle/shiurim/category/dov-s-recovery-talks

He also has a powerless phone number

I'm sorry i have to say this quote kills me. What an awful reason for recovery! And believe me i relate. But i have to move away from that god, the god that i think will have me burn in gehinom for masturbating! Oy vey! How will i ever get better with that sort of attitude and god!

I need a God that is loving and caring and that has patience with me. That loves me unconditionally. 

I am learning to fire that conception of what I think is God, but is really just my disillusioned perception of Him 

dms1234 wrote on 04 Sep 2017 22:00:

Does your god mete out punishment?

If someone works well with yiras ha'onesh, kudos to him. Fortunately it is keeping him in check. If it does not work for the rest of us, we will have to find other strategies.

As an aside, although we believe Hashem loves us unconditionally etc, and patiently waits for us to come around, He did spell out in the Torah various punishments for different aveiros.........................

True that Hashem is a loving and caring G-d, but throughout the Torah we are also reminded about how He deals out punishments. And seriously, I have sinned and sinned severely many times throughout my life and afterwards begged for forgiveness and mercy. I made many promises and vows in the past to straighten up and change, but eventually always going back to a life of a sinner. And many bad and unfortunate things have been happening in my life which leads me to believe it is - measure for measure -  Hashem losing his patience with me due to all my broken vows.
Of course it's not just the fear of punishment that is helping me guard my eyes. I actually really want to break free from lust and all it's perverse habits. Lust just drags me down and ruins my mind. My thoughts and memories are plagued by women, porn and sex, and this is a terrible way to be.

Manessmann wrote on 05 Sep 2017 05:43:

To the best of my knowledge we do not have neviim today. Only a very very big person could say when and ifHashem is punishing us mida k'neged mida. His ways are mysterious and hidden. The important thing is that you are guarding your eyes and mind to the best of your ability. It takes a while for memories of exciting and dramatic images to fade. Meanwhile keep on doing what you are doing. Our rabbonim tell us that today anyone working on this struggle is bringing tremendous simcha in shomayim.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 05 Sep 2017 17:05:

Reb HHM your first and last sentence contradict each other