True freedom is following hashems prescribed directions from the Torah. Rather than be a slave to myself, my goal is to be a servant to hashem. God willing I will have the strength to beat my yetzer hara.

Zra wrote on 05 Jun 2017 04:36:

I hope you do 

Today was super stressful and that is usually a trigger for me. However, thinking about this forum and all those fighting this battle with me helped stave off any forbidden thoughts. So far good. I need to stay focused. My plan is to post every night before bed. I think that will help. Good night.

Fantastic Keep it up!  If posting helps you then keep on posting. We are here to help. Stay connected. Hatzlocha.

Hay Buddy, stay here, read the handbook, get on the conference calls, they are great, get great support from all of us, get your self REAL filters on all of your devices. you will do great.

just stick around here, we need you, you will encourage all of us how good you will do!!! you will be the sample!!!

get a filter! get a partner! remember, we recover on a daily basis, don't look forward, and don't look behind, just see the moment... there is a lot of tools here, I'm a new person since I'm here, I'm telling you, Seeing is Believing!!!

Stay Strong, Stay clean, and stay around...

You are good to go!!!

Thank you! I am not sure that I can make full use of the filters since my job entails managing social media accounts. I need to look into it more. I like what you said that everyday is a recovery. Very true. Can't let my guard down for a second. 
anyway I'm writing my nightly report now going 2 days strong.

Today I had the most mentally and emotionally stressful three hours taking a test in college that I was unaware of and didn't study for. I literally got a headache and feel slightly sick now from the stress. But I won't let this get me down to a dark place where the yetzer hara can convince me that forbidden actions and sights will make it better. Physical pleasures are emptiness. Had a few bad thoughts today but I controlled myself and fought back well. Day 3 is always the worst in my experience so I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. 
But I think that looking forward is actually the wrong idea, as someone above pointed out. Focus on each day as it's own recovery. No matter if you don't have any fights with the yetzer that day or you're fighting the ytzer all day. Each day is it's own challenge with potential for you reach higher spiritual strengths and get closer to hashem. 
I need to add something other than simply posting to this forum every night. I need to start viewing shmirah and bris like I view shabbos. You could offer me a trillion dollars to break shabbos purposefully and I would never do it, I would not even think of doing it. There is no reason I should not have the same attitude toward bros and shmirah. But come to think of it, the reason I have such an attitude about shabbos probably came about through it being ingrained into me from a young age. The issue with shmira and bris is that they are not ingrained in a similar way. The young teen tends to discover these negative commandments on their own. Sure we were taught and learned the importance of tzniyut, But unless we walk around blindfolded or live in a shtetl, we are surrounded by images and people that we shouldn't be looking at. Godwilling when I have children I will figure out a way to better ingrain a sensitivity to shmira and bris. 
that's all for tonight. I really like where this thread is going for me. Feels like writing in a journal which is what I need. 

What you write about children not finding out what is assur until they are already entrenched is so very true. Possibly so much aveira and accompanying anguish, guilt and addiction could be avoided if boys would be trained properly. There are attemts to change that nowadays but it has not yet become popular.

Regarding what you wrote regarding filters. Bear in mind that besides the obvious gains of 1.removing the possibilty of mistakenly accessing inappropriate images, and 2. placing a detterent in your way when a weak moment comes, there is an unseen benefit.  Hashem helps those who avoid nisyonos. By following the demand of Gedolei Yisroel and placing filters, we receive extra doses of s'yatta d'shmaya. 

DDon't have much time to write tonight because it's really late and I need some sleep. Still clean. Feeling pretty good but I won't let my guard down. 
I definitely received some type of message from hashem today. I spent the past few hours working on a video project having to do with a story about Indian chief telling his grandson about two wolves inside of him, a good one and bad one and they fight. The one that wins is the one you feed. The whole video revolved around this story. Just a few minutes ago, I checked the daily chizuk email and found this  *edit: screenshot didn't work cause I'm doing it from my phone but it is a picture of the chizuk email from June 7th 2017. Its a picture of words telling the exact same story that my video project revolved around. Pretty amazing*
I think it's hashem telling me that the thing surrounding the video project and starting to utilize GYE is the right direction for Me. I'm still kinda freaked out about it.
I feel great. I Will pray that everyone here has the strength to continue to fight their yetzer hara by feeding their yetzer tov! Good night!

Still clean. Had many attacking thoughts and impulses today, but I guarded really well. I am particularly pleased because I was home alone most of the day and that is a powerful trigger. One thing that really helped me fight all urges was thinking about not being able to come to this forum and say I was clean. It teaches me a clear lesson about myself. I hate letting people down and I definitely care what people will think about me.  The3rd is an influence that this forum seems to have on me, boruch hahsem, and I think it's funny that caring about what other people think about me is the way that I am able to get closer to hashem. Something that could be categorized as gashmiyus is assisting with spiritual growth.  This is not really a chiddush though, this idea is a huge theme in Torah. The idea of taking the physicality of this world and uplifting it and revealing the light of hashem "contained" within it. The only reservation I have about this, is that it feels fake. It feels like I'm not controlling myself because The Torah says I must, rather it's closer to a type of peer pressure. It feels like I'm cheating my way to becoming closer to hashem. I just have to rely on the quote from pirkei avos that says shelo lishma bo lishma.
 Anyway, It was kinda stressful towards the end of the day as I was studying for a college test which I still have to take tomorrow morning and then go straight to work. Ugh.
I'm ready for shabbos, so ready.
Last thought:
Even if no one ever reads this thread again, I think just knowing that someone might be keeping track of how I'm doing on my streak will help me keep it up. So, anyone reading this, please leave a short comment or like or something to let me know that I have peers looking over me and supporting me. Thanks. I want to say more but I have to get some sleep. Good night.

Zra wrote on 09 Jun 2017 04:37:

Good stuff!

Zra, you write exceptionally well. You express yourself with such honesty and humility. It's wonderful that you recognize which times and situations are triggers. Plan for them (as it appears you are doing already) to stay above water. If posting on the forum is a technique that works, than that is what Hashem wants you to do. Dont view it "that you are not doing it because the Torah said so". The opposite. Hashem said you should control yourself and you now found a vehicle (impressing other people, not letting yourself down,....) to help accomplish that. Hatzlocha.

Thank you so very much for your response. Its already put a smile on my face and is very helpful. I appreciate you shifting the  perspective that I had regarding my vehicle of control. No more time for a response, but I wish you a meaningful and spiritually uplifting shabbos!

LET'S GOOO!! I am doing fantastic. Shabbos was very solid. I rarely have any serious struggle on shabbos. If I do, it usually has to do with seeing certain individuals across the mechitza at Shul and allowing thoughts to take over. The issue is not on shabbos in those cases, it's the struggle that comes after shabbos when the spirit of shabbos has left and there is time to myself. 
Another issue that can arise for me on shabbos is having many l'chaims Friday night with guests during the meal and waking up with a bad hangover. I can usually feel a little better with some Advil and a lot of water, but for me personally, I feel slightly sick and depressed the day after drinking too much. Slight depression and not feeling well plus the allowance of certain thoughts to run rampant is a motzei shabbos recipe for disaster. 
With GYE I have been fending off attacks left and right with good effort and with great success. Had a bit too much to drink last night and feel not so good right now, but I never lost control of my thoughts today. Don't have all the ingredients and so the disaster recipe will not be made.
My daily self taught lesson:
Thought control is the key to avoiding disaster. Urges and impulses must be violently stifled before manifesting in your thoughts. Perhaps think of it less as thought control, which implies simple force of will, and think of it more as going on offense. When we allow ourselves to only play defense we give our opponent the option to wait our defense out and choose a specific attack to breach our defenses. However, when we are on offense, our opponent has no capacity to control the battlefield. We then can take control and drive the battlefield in a direction we are comfortable with. We no longer react defensively to attacks, we begin to meet them head on and start to attack back. We must be proactive in our mission to serve hashem if we want to succeed. 
I pray that everyone on this forum will learn to be proactive in their struggle with shmiras habris and shmiras Enayim and that this will help them do teshuvah gemura. And for those who might not know, teshuvah Gemura is full and complete teshuvah that you can only accomplish when you have do normal teshuva and you never do the aveira again especially when situations arise where you have opportunity to do the aveira. When this happens, you previous averios are considered mitzvos.

Signing off now. Need sleep.

Still going strong. I had an exhausting day preparing for several video project a that will be filmed this week. Its all Torah related videos so totally worth all the effort I put in. I'm cutting it short tonight because I really need to manage my sleep schedule a bit better. I am very excited that I am on a 7 day streak. That feels really good. I know that my connection to hashem is increasing and I also know that I still have a lot of teshuva to do. Taking it day by day. I'm going to start taking 3-5minutes a day during lunchtime to concentrate on doing teshuvah for my sins. I cant let my guard down, the yezter hara is sneaky and will assuredly try to get me in the next few days. I need to prepare. I will prepare. Have a good night! Thank hashem for this amazing organization.