Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

Bb0212's road...
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Bb0212's road... 59291 Views

Re: Bb0212's road... 11 Jul 2017 14:30 #317028

  • Shivisi_Hashem
  • Current streak: 158 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 686
  • Karma: 31
happy for you, and im happy to see that eventually things are changing for the good, even it took so long!!
keep it up brother...
you are good to go, and take us all along.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: Bb0212's road... 11 Jul 2017 20:04 #317047

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1090 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1959
Thank you for sharing great news. Be proud of your courage to filter your devices better. May it give you more s'yata d'shmaya.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Bb0212's road... 14 Jul 2017 16:28 #317215

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
Ouch. Today, day 168, I fell. There are however a couple of things that I'm happy about. My fall was looking at soft core porn. It wasn't mz"l. The fact that I'm considering this a fall and not a slip shows me how much I've gained from GYE. 
The fall happened on my work iPad, ironically, right after I added some sort of protection on it. I was really tired, that definitely added. Now I need to start work (the kind of work I do for money), I'll have to figure out what else to do about this later. Any ideas?
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.

Re: Bb0212's road... 14 Jul 2017 20:31 #317226

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
Here's some incentive not to fall again... It's so freakin difficult to control my eyes and thoughts compared to before. Recently, I've been very aware of my feelings. One thing that I feel changed with this fall is that before the fall, if I'd describe the source of my se*ual desire physically, I'd say that it wasn't as strong. Maybe more  physical than intellectual or emotional. Therefore, it was much easier and fighting my desire to act out using logica was much more effective. Now, after the fall, while the logic is still the same, it's barely strong enough to overcome the physical desire.... I kinda feel like I'm typing completely nonsensically, but to me this makes sense. Hopefully to somebody else as well.


שבת שלום לכולם!
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.

Re: Bb0212's road... 14 Jul 2017 22:02 #317227

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 14 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7229
  • Karma: 369
bb0212 wrote on 14 Jul 2017 16:28:
Ouch. Today, day 168, I fell. There are however a couple of things that I'm happy about. My fall was looking at soft core porn. It wasn't mz"l. The fact that I'm considering this a fall and not a slip shows me how much I've gained from GYE. 
The fall happened on my work iPad, ironically, right after I added some sort of protection on it. I was really tired, that definitely added. Now I need to start work (the kind of work I do for money), I'll have to figure out what else to do about this later. Any ideas?

My experience is that when I am really tired and an unprotected device is available, it can be a harrowing experience, as was with the last fall

Happens to be that BH with my participation in the forum, the lust drive is on a lower gear overall, so that's a good thing

Is it possible to be strong enough when ones tires are tired / defences are down?
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Bb0212's road... 16 Jul 2017 06:22 #317247

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
bb0212 wrote on 14 Jul 2017 16:28:

The fall happened on my work iPad, ironically, right after I added some sort of protection on it.

Ok, I whitelisted the iPad. That should make things a lot easier & simpler. Kinda strange to say it, but I'm almost happy that I fell. Before that, I had felt that the fight was way too easy. Because of this fall, I now know how easily and quickly I can unravel and be destroyed by this desire & that puts it all in a different perspective.
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.

Re: Bb0212's road... 16 Jul 2017 07:10 #317250

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
Markz wrote on 14 Jul 2017 22:02:
Is it possible to be strong enough when ones tires are tired / defences are down?

That's a great question. Perhaps it would depend on the severity of the challenge? For example, take dude driving a car with regular tires (or tyres for you weird ppl ). He drives over a nail on regular street in the city. The air comes out & the guy needs to slow down to a crawl and get the tire changed asap or it'll start to damage the rim and cause all sorts of issues. Once that's done, he'll be fine. But it was a big hassle and completely messed up his work schedule. So he decides to get the runflat tires so that if he gets a flat again, he'll be able to continue driving till he's done with work & then he can get the tire replaced when it won't interfere with his work. The next week, he'd driving to work & gets a nail in the tire again. But now, since he has the runflat tires, he can wait till work's over and his plan works out perfectly. Then he heard about the guy who was driving 100mph on the Autobahn and his runflat tire somehow blew out, the car spun outta control & the dude ended up in pieces scattered across the highway. He fits his research and finds out that those tires were only rated to go 80 mph. So he makes sure to never go over 75.  However, the next week he's waiting by a traffic light and a guy jumps in, points a gun at his head, and barks out "drive!". He has no choice but to drive, he gets on the highway and the guy forced him to drive 100mph. When his tire blew out, he miraculously survived the accident. On his replacement car, he made sure to get runflat tires rated to go 120mph, got bullet proof windows and doors that auto lock. 


The point is, every time he discovered a weakness that he could strengthen, he strengthened it. However, it's a dangerous world, so he can't possibly protect himself from all evil. So he spoke to his Father: "Hashem, I'm doing my part, I'm taking every precaution to stay safe. Please make sure that I never get hurt & I always find ways to prevent injury to myself before the threat occurs."

Translated to us, in our lives we are constantly making mistakes. We can try to learn from them & through that, guard ourselves from falling to sin. However, that's as long as we have the proper defenses. Some challenges will be greater than us and there's no way for us to get through unscathed. Even if we take every single precaution, if somebody nuked the car, everybody inside would be vaporized. So we ask Hashem to protect us from the fights we can't win and to give us the strength to win the fights we can.

Markz, to answer your question,
Is it possible to be strong enough when ones tires are tired / defenses are down?
I think it depends on how strong our defense is. Therefore, we have to to build up our defense to the peak of its potential. At the same time, there will be challenges that are stronger than our strongest defense. So we need to all Hashem to keep those away from us.
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.
Last Edit: 17 Jul 2017 03:58 by bb0212.

Re: Bb0212's road... 17 Jul 2017 00:49 #317292

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1090 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1959
bb, extremely well written.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Bb0212's road... 17 Jul 2017 03:00 #317298

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 15 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 265
  • Karma: 22
Bb0212 that was a five star post. 

Kop
Last Edit: 17 Jul 2017 03:01 by Hakolhevel.

Re: Bb0212's road... 17 Jul 2017 07:48 #317309

  • Singularity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • To write, or not to write?
  • Posts: 1313
  • Karma: 66
bb0212 wrote on 16 Jul 2017 07:10:

Markz wrote on 14 Jul 2017 22:02:
Is it possible to be strong enough when ones tires are tired / defences are down?

That's a great question. Perhaps it would depend on the severity of the challenge? For example, take dude driving a car with regular tires (or tyres for you weird ppl ). He drives over a nail on regular street in the city. The air comes out & the guy needs to slow down to a crawl and get the tire changed asap or it'll start to damage the rim and cause all sorts of issues. Once that's done, he'll be fine. But it was a big hassle and completely messed up his work schedule. So he decides to get the runflat tires so that if he gets a flat again, he'll be able to continue driving till he's done with work & then he can get the tire replaced when it won't interfere with his work. The next week, he'd driving to work & gets a nail in the tire again. But now, since he has the runflat tires, he can wait till work's over and his plan works out perfectly. Then he heard about the guy who was driving 100mph on the Autobahn and his runflat tire somehow blew out, the car spun outta control & the dude ended up in pieces scattered across the highway. He fits his research and finds out that those tires were only rated to go 80 mph. So he makes sure to never go over 75.  However, the next week he's waiting by a traffic light and a guy jumps in, points a gun at his head, and barks out "drive!". He has no choice but to drive, he gets on the highway and the guy forced him to drive 100mph. When his tire blew out, he miraculously survived the accident. On his replacement car, he made sure to get runflat tires rated to go 120mph, got bullet proof windows and doors that auto lock. 


The point is, every time he discovered a weakness that he could strengthen, he strengthened it. However, it's a dangerous world, so he can't possibly protect himself from all evil. So he spoke to his Father: "Hashem, I'm doing my part, I'm taking every precaution to stay safe. Please make sure that I never get hurt & I always find ways to prevent injury to myself before the threat occurs."

Translated to us, in our lives we are constantly making mistakes. We can try to learn from them & through that, guard ourselves from falling to sin. However, that's as long as we have the proper defenses. Some challenges will be greater than us and there's no way for us to get through unscathed. Even if we take every single precaution, if somebody nuked the car, everybody inside would be vaporized. So we ask Hashem to protect us from the fights we can't win and to give us the strength to win the fights we can.

Markz, to answer your question,
Is it possible to be strong enough when ones tires are tired / defenses are down?
I think it depends on how strong our defense is. Therefore, we have to to build up our defense to the peak of its potential. At the same time, there will be challenges that are stronger than our strongest defense. So we need to all Hashem to keep those away from us.

I'm sure the guy was glad his tyres could only go up to 80 so the other guy would die...
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: Bb0212's road... 18 Jul 2017 05:42 #317376

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Well, it could be that the reason I don't understand you is because I'm so tyred. In either case, every car tire is rated to go up to a certain speed. If a car is rated to go 110mph, but the driver goes 120mph, the tires are at a higher risk of blowing out.
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.

Re: Bb0212's road... 18 Jul 2017 07:01 #317377

  • Singularity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • To write, or not to write?
  • Posts: 1313
  • Karma: 66
bb0212 wrote on 18 Jul 2017 05:42:


:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Well, it could be that the reason I don't understand you is because I'm so tyred. In either case, every car tire is rated to go up to a certain speed. If a car is rated to go 110mph, but the driver goes 120mph, the tires are at a higher risk of blowing out.

Yeah so he knew the other guy would make him drive more than 80 so he was sorta thankful in a way because he knew the other guy would be in danger too and then he'd be bizarrely safer than if he had proper tyres. 

Listen I know this whole schpiel is tiring so all I want to say is KOMT!! But not faster than 80
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
My Thread

Re: Bb0212's road... 24 Jul 2017 10:33 #317751

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
Good morning everyone, חודש טוב!

So... I just had a wet dream. The thing is, I was conscious enough that I think I could've stopped it, but I didn't. At the same time, I was still half asleep and also might've had partially good intentions for letting it happen ( I wanted to release to make the fight easier). 
I don't think I should reset my count, what do y'all think?
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.
Last Edit: 24 Jul 2017 14:01 by bb0212. Reason: My attempt at sleep typing wasn't too successful

Re: Bb0212's road... 24 Jul 2017 15:47 #317761

My opinion is that if you are using the 90 day chart you should use the rules that govern it. In which case you should not reset your count. 

With respect, I dispute your assertion that the release makes the fight easier. 

Re: Bb0212's road... 25 Jul 2017 00:16 #317806

  • bb0212
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 462
  • Karma: 10
Ihavestrength wrote on 24 Jul 2017 15:47:


With respect, I dispute your assertion that the release makes the fight easier. 

Ty. There's no need to dispute, I agree with you 100%. Giving in, or "releasing" adds a great deal of difficulty to the fight. However, in my semi conscious state of mind, I considered another - false - possibility.
My road to 90 days, all with God's help.             What brought me here.90 days with Areivim

Made it 259 days from 01/28/17-10/15/17 without mz"l. At day 90, I started to go for all aspects of שמירת עניים\הברית. At day 168 I fell with שמירת עניים & restarted the count. On approximately November 4 2017, with the support of a fellow GYE brother (daily text messages/phone calls), I restarted. This round I'm working on שמירת הברית as well as שמירת עניים.
Time to create page: 0.73 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes