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I will make it b'e"h

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TOPIC: I will make it b'e"h 227246 Views

Re: I will make it b"h 09 Feb 2017 15:36 #305438

gevura shebyesod
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 09 Feb 2017 14:17:

Singularity wrote on 09 Feb 2017 07:45:

cordnoy wrote on 08 Feb 2017 19:11:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 08 Feb 2017 18:16:

since coming on to gye yes with the exception of talking to my wife no-one knows about this

Food for thought

You say you're listening to Dov's calls. Have you gotten to this one?

Disclosing just to your wife may not be as pious as one thinks... give the call a listen ;-)

Although in some cases people may have ulterior/manipulative motives in disclosing these challenges to their wives, in the vast majority of situations, if the wife can handle it, it is extremely proper and beneficial.

There's a pretty big "If" in there, and the answer to that is not always known beforehand.

In my case I disclosed to my wife before I found GYE, and not even knowing that recovery was an option. I was just so desperate to get out of the double life and it really didn't matter to me if she could handle it. I just knew I had to choose a path and I couldn't choose. So I decided that i would tell her and however she reacted that would be my signal what to do. You might consider that the ultimate in selfishness but I was so far gone I didn't care. B"H she took it better than I had any right to expect.

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: I will make it b"h 09 Feb 2017 18:34 #305446

mayanhamisgaber
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cordnoy wrote on 09 Feb 2017 13:34:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 09 Feb 2017 08:12:

Markz wrote on 09 Feb 2017 02:38:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 08 Feb 2017 12:59:

cordnoy wrote on 08 Feb 2017 04:36:

Forget the addict question.

What are you doin' to change?

And please don't say, "I'm not lookin' at porn and I'm postin'," for that's not inner change.

for inner change I'm trying to be honest with myself about my ego anger and self esteem figuring out when and why I get angry/egoistic and working on these middos thru mussar and talking to friends and family.
Also listened to the chossen shmuzzen by R' Fuerman(or however you spell it) also downloading and listening to Dov's calls and reading the different advice found here and trying to decide what works for me from all of these places.
Is there something else should try?

(From a later post) True having a mentor or rebbe to talk to is a good thing but so far I have made very good progress by talking to my wife parents and friends and I see no reason why this cannot continue to work.

Thank you for takking time to help me

Can we have a convo. Do you mind if I inquire my dear brother what's goin on

Can you explain working on these middos thru mussar. What does that mean exactly
"figuring out when and why I get angry/egoistic". Im clueless how to do that myself. How are you managing
"Talking to my wife parents and friends" about the weather? About porn?

All the best - my brother!!

GET YOUR SNOW TRUCK OUT AND KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!

1) learning the basic seforim (sha'aray t'shuvah m'seilas y'sharim orchos tzadikim) about each midda then understanding in a practical way how they apply to me and where I am holding with them and then

2) looking back after I get angry or whatever what happened why did I act like that what mentality did I have that should be changed or my outlook at situations or people
The biggest challenge for me is not looking down at people for the faults that I see for I probably have bigger faults than them

3) about my middos and where I am holding with my lusts (am I down,up,need soe help....)

is this what you wanted to clarify
thank you all for helping me express this

Very nice.

Perhaps do a search for a 4th step resentment sheet. It might prove to be beneficial.

Continued hatzlachah

thanks does this mean you think I am an addict?

very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b"h 09 Feb 2017 19:30 #305447

cordnoy
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Nope.

Nothin'I to do with it.

I think fourth steps and most of the stepsI are good for all.

I have stated that many times.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: I will make it b"h 09 Feb 2017 19:47 #305450

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	Phew just making sure and yes I have read those statements but on a forum like this I like things to be spelled out as miscommunication is rampant
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!! Last Edit: 10 Feb 2017 02:04 by cordnoy. Reason: This was a second free one

Re: I will make it b"h 09 Feb 2017 23:28 #305485

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	cordnoy wrote on 09 Feb 2017 13:34: Very nice. Perhaps do a search for a 4th step resentment sheet. It might prove to be beneficial. Continued hatzlachah Very interesting I can not say this is exactly what I have been doing but it is the same idea Thank you it definitely gives me much more of a structure I see what you mean that the steps can help even those that are not addicts
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b"h 10 Feb 2017 01:48 #305493

Markz
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MayanHamisgaber wrote on 09 Feb 2017 08:12:

Markz wrote on 09 Feb 2017 02:38:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 08 Feb 2017 12:59:

cordnoy wrote on 08 Feb 2017 04:36:

Forget the addict question.

What are you doin' to change?

And please don't say, "I'm not lookin' at porn and I'm postin'," for that's not inner change.

Can we have a convo. Do you mind if I inquire my dear brother what's goin on

Can you explain working on these middos thru mussar. What does that mean exactly
"figuring out when and why I get angry/egoistic". Im clueless how to do that myself. How are you managing
"Talking to my wife parents and friends" about the weather? About porn?

All the best - my brother!!

GET YOUR SNOW TRUCK OUT AND KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!

#1) Can just make someone more depressed sometimes
#2) Can help lower your self esteem
#3) Talking my wife's parents about my lust and middos, is a good way to ruin my day

All in all a recipe for lust to flourish. oh ok you're a strong guy and manage to hold back... but it's a thin rope that can snap at any given moment

Hey I'm trying to throw you a rope! Catch!!!

(disclaimer: I'm only taking about what does and doesn't work for me. It does not reflect on other Truckers, Janitors, Moderators, Affirmed second cousins of non addicts or their families)

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Re: I will make it b"h 10 Feb 2017 02:03 #305494

cordnoy
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I think if he does it consistently, it can pay off.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: I will make it b"h 10 Feb 2017 10:02 #305519

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	Markz I am catching the rope just not sure ow to hold on #1&2 I do not feel that these things happen to me #3 I DO NOT TALK TO THE IN-LAWS about this they do not know I only meant my parents Thank you for your continued support
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b"h 12 Feb 2017 10:07 #305592

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	Just letting the oilam know I might not be so active this next week as the shviger is going to be around for the next week or so. Daven for me that it should be a pleasant experience for all Thanks
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b"h 13 Feb 2017 00:07 #305637

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2791 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 3956	Hatzlocha!
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: I will make it b"h 13 Feb 2017 07:55 #305677

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	MayanHamisgaber wrote on 12 Feb 2017 10:07: Just letting the oilam know I might not be so active this next week as the shviger is going to be around for the next week or so. Daven for me that it should be a pleasant experience for all Thanks it might help if she confides that she goes to SA meetings. Then you'll be the best of friends!! But let's not complicate matters further
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: I will make it b"h 13 Feb 2017 08:12 #305684

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	Careful singer boy I might just take you up on that offer to fly just with other plans than to go to the kruger whatever that is She landed so gonna sign off soon
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: I will make it b"h 14 Feb 2017 22:13 #305873

fresh start Current streak: 777 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 125 Karma: 17	MayanHamisgaber wrote on 12 Feb 2017 10:07: Just letting the oilam know I might not be so active this next week as the shviger is going to be around for the next week or so. Daven for me that it should be a pleasant experience for all Thanks Shviger week! Yikes! Hatzlacha with everything.

Re: I will make it b"h 15 Feb 2017 08:23 #305932

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	fresh start wrote on 14 Feb 2017 22:13: MayanHamisgaber wrote on 12 Feb 2017 10:07: Just letting the oilam know I might not be so active this next week as the shviger is going to be around for the next week or so. Daven for me that it should be a pleasant experience for all Thanks Shviger week! Yikes! Hatzlacha with everything. I don't get it. My mother in law is epic.
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: I will make it b"h 15 Feb 2017 18:34 #305957

fresh start
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Singularity wrote on 15 Feb 2017 08:23:

fresh start wrote on 14 Feb 2017 22:13:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 12 Feb 2017 10:07:

Just letting the oilam know I might not be so active this next week as the shviger is going to be around for the next week or so.
Daven for me that it should be a pleasant experience for all

Thanks

Shviger week! Yikes!

Hatzlacha with everything.

I don't get it.

My mother in law is epic.

I don't even know if that's a good thing or bad thing.

I am kinda happy that my mil is not "epic" otherwise I would be in trouble...