BEHS yes I'm highly recommending the standard 90 day chart

There are others that chart their cumulative count regardless of a 90 day thingy
That has nothing to do with any gye program, and may or may not be helpful

I noticed that you locked your cumulative days into a 90 day program, so essentially apparently you want to be doing a 90 day thing

Being that that's the case, I feel as a caring brother to point out that (in my experience) the 90 chart alone does not gain anyone any real sobriety

Whats it for? It's a Trucking tool. But not a regular Tool compared to the daily/weekly calls or SSA groups or even Taphsic

Its like a handyman's 90 day watch that has a daily alarm reminding him of the task at hand to utilize his power tools

The watch works as follows. On a day that the handyman messes up, the watch timer reboots itself starting from day one. If this 'timed watch' aggravates him he's free to discard it as many great truckers have done to the 90 day chart. And you should do the same if counting 90 days isn't gaining you complete sobriety

Alternatively feel free to try the 90 chart as gye set it out, since it is a great tool, and may actually benefit you if followed correctly

Whatever you choose, I wish you an easy recovery long haul with us!!

KOT

Watson wrote on 29 Mar 2016 21:01:

6/6

Well Watson, in light of your first post on this thread, what are your thoughts? How did it work for you?

Let me ask you, what's the purpose of the 'baseball game' you've devised here. Is it essentially another way of telling yourself "try harder next time" ? Has that worked in the past? How does it make you feel?

And how many times is it acceptable to masturbate in 90 days anyway?

Do you find the counting a bit of a distraction from the core problem? Could it be used as a smoke screen for denial? "Last month I masturbated 6 times and this month only 5 times so I've got this under control."

Let's imagine you had bad stomach ache for a while and eventually the doctor told you that you were allergic to fish. You'd stop eating fish, right? You wouldn't start a 'baseball game' to track how many times you ate fish and made yourself sick this month compared to last month, would you? Can you see how the attempts to control the lust problem prove how out of control it is?

It seems to me that you're very focussed on the problem and not at all on the solution. But I'd like to hear you thoughts on this.

 

Since i don't know anyone here personally, it's hard for me to keep track of who has said what without reading old posts. That being the case, it could be just the two of you repeatedly or it could be the whole olam, but it seems like there have been quite a few posts saying I should ignore the 90 days entirely.

It must be that others are seeing things that I don't, and since you are outsiders to my personal situation I must assume you are all more objective than me. The only conclusion I can draw is to forget about counting and focus on the steps. I guess I'll start a new thread under a different section dealing with my journey through the whitebook and the steps.

But before I leave the 90 day chart section of the forum I just have to ask: if so many people are always saying that counting is just a tool and it takes your focus away from the solution, why is the 90 day chart concept so prominent within GYE?

BEHS wrote on 21 Jul 2016 06:45:

IMO it's not about the 90 day chart, it's about working on positive recovery.

Positive recovery might mean the 12 steps for you, but that's your decision. Only thing is, if you are going to do the steps you need to be part of a group and have a sponsor. There is no other way to work these steps.

See here - guardyoureyes.com/tools/calls
Or better yet - guardyoureyes.com/tools/live-groups

what I felt by me about the 90 days that it was the ''first aid'' to get out, it gave me the feeling of possibility to restrain and keep back, which I never had before! the confidence it gave me that I can, and from there of course we have to work with other tools as the rambam says the first thing is עזיבת החטא.
and as one of the tzadikim said as the pasuk states יעזוב רשע דרכו even when he is still a רשע! the first thing is drop! and then work on yourself.
I hope I expressed myself well.
and of course that's only my experience, could be for others its different 

BEHS,
First, Kol hakavod to you for being so humble and willing to hear from the olam here. Very inspiring.

I think the 90 days are a tool to use as your working that give you a number to be able to see tangible success, but it is not the process of recovery itself, just a tool and a goal to shoot for.

I second the notion to be mechabed you for your willingness to listen to others.

I don't think anyone has an issue with counting per se. It's only when it ceases to be a tool and starts becoming the focus where it's problematic. I guess the problem is that it happens often enough that it may be worth dropping the tool for a lot of people.

I personally keep  count on the wall of honor but I don't check it often and only know the general area of days I'm in. It can be helpful but only when used in the right way.

I don't think there's a satisfactory answer to your question about why the 90 day chart is so prominent. Clearly the webmaster likes the idea a lot. I don't know of any experienced members on the site who feel the same way. 

I can tell you from personal experience that 90 days of being clean does not in any way, shape, or form "heal" you.

Hatzlacha on your journey. KOT!

I'm not getting involved in the count/no count/how to count squabble, but I will say from experience, and from what the books say, and from what many others tell me that the more times one overcomes his desire, the greater fuel he has for the next challenge. This can happen at 30, 60, 90 or whenever. It is not a cure and it certainly is no guarantee, but it does help for the future.

One other thing is that there are those who do not have a disease/sickness etc. and do not need a cure, but rather an incentive to "keep it going," and then a steak is beneficial as well.

B'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote on 22 Jul 2016 19:54:


Cordnoy,

As a typo you write "a STEAK is beneficial as well". Always!

That too!

BEHS wrote on 21 Jul 2016 06:45:

• Last Visit Date: 21 Jul 2016

Hey brother where you been? Need towing from no man's land Yehoopitzville or something?

Markz, I have the posts coming to my email and I have read the responses from there. That being said, towing is always helpful as well. I can't talk today or tomorrow but maybe we can chat at some point later this week?

How's your week been brother

How are you BEHS, it's a been a while with no updates, that always worries me.

Please do a Yid a toiva and let us know where you're holding.