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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Here we go 43454 Views

Re: Here we go 28 Jul 2016 03:05 #292834

  • Markz
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Humanoids that are not aspie like me cannot exist w/o social life



IMHO if you scrap wattsap it'll push you to build your social life with real people eg talking to dov



And hey the better you work on this the better your marriage will be :-)

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Re: Here we go 28 Jul 2016 10:22 #292844

  • doingtshuva
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Aryeh821 wrote on 28 Jul 2016 02:47:

Guys I need some advice 
I recently decided to get rid of my phone (the browser is completely blocked so not really because of porn realated issues)
however I realized today that it is a major source of connection as I whatsapp friends and cousins a lot and an idea talked a lot about here is staying out of isolation 
whats you're guys opinion on this?


If I understand you correctly, you're willing to change to a more simple phone?
I have done that a long time ago, it's not easy but that is what I need for today.
Yes I miss out alot, but what won't I do in order to stay sober?
Others will tell you you can put a good filter and stay with the smart phone.

I think that you, and only you can answer your own question, who knows you like yourself?
Best wishes
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


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Re: Here we go 28 Jul 2016 17:14 #292864

  • gibbor120
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I hear you, but I'm not sure what to tell you.  I hear your dilemma.

Re: Here we go 28 Jul 2016 18:12 #292874

  • Bigmoish
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It's interesting that you choose to ask anonymous internet "friends" advice regarding whether or not retaining real connections with real people is a good idea.

FAQ's (Great for newcomers!!!)
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"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
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Re: Here we go 28 Jul 2016 21:51 #292902

  • doingtshuva
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Bigmoish wrote on 28 Jul 2016 18:12:

It's interesting that you choose to ask anonymous internet "friends" advice regarding whether or not retaining real connections with real people is a good idea.


Are you sure that is what he's asking?
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Here we go 30 Jul 2016 04:57 #292982

  • Shlomo24
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Making decisions to get rid of things in life is always hard to do. The logical process is actually quite simple, does the positive outweigh the negative? It seems over here that is doesn't. The hard part, for me at least, is letting go. I still want to have those "bottles" available so I can take a drink, even if I know intellectually what is right.
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Here we go 02 Aug 2016 08:25 #293116

  • thanks613
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OOoh!! I got a new thread idea..

"Can't bring yourself to give up those pesky things? Give 'em away on the LetGo thread..."

th.jpg
Last Edit: 02 Aug 2016 08:26 by thanks613.

Re: Here we go 07 Oct 2016 18:33 #296021

  • Aryeh821
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Hello all its been quite a while 
after to taking to Dov and another member i have come to conclusion that to get soberity i MUST tell my parents at least part of what i am going through (even just writing that sentence was hard and felt like a surrender) however i am to put it Lightly extremely dreading this i feel like im stuck between a rock (porn /masturbation) and a hard place(telling my parents) but the rock isn't so much hard as a comfortable envoloping sense urging me to stay in my comfort zone and keep hiding 
does anyone have any experience with telling there parents or the like ?
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 
Last Edit: 07 Oct 2016 18:33 by Aryeh821.

Re: Here we go 07 Oct 2016 18:37 #296023

  • Teshuvahguy
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I have found I have never made progress staying in my comfort zone. Only when I faced the pain did I move forward. I wish you all the best with your parents. They love you. 

Re: Here we go 07 Oct 2016 18:38 #296024

  • Teshuvahguy
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I had to tell my wife. Not exactly the same but still terrifying. She was amazing and totally supportive and helpful. The fear was much worse than the reality. 

Re: Here we go 07 Oct 2016 21:11 #296036

  • Shlomo24
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I think that what has really helped me is to make sure that I don't tell then something they aren't ready for. I have told them things but in somewhat vague terms. Specifics aren't necessary I don't think. 
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: Here we go 07 Oct 2016 21:21 #296038

  • Markz
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Yeah I was wondering the same why does dov say you should tell all to them. Also have you shared with your Rebbi, cos I think that can sometimes be more productive
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Re: Here we go 11 Oct 2016 16:47 #296246

  • Aryeh821
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Markz wrote:
Yeah I was wondering the same why does dov say you should tell all to them. Also have you shared with your Rebbi, cos I think that can sometimes be more productive

 Dov didnt say to reveal ALL (sorry if i was misleading) the reason why i have to reveal at least something is to get access to a psychologist 
i did tell my mashgiach and he was helpful to a point but his focus (not in anyway his fault) was on the yetser hora part of it not the addiction part
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 
Last Edit: 11 Oct 2016 16:48 by Aryeh821.

Re: Here we go 14 Oct 2016 16:36 #296416

  • Aryeh821
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So Should i go ahead with it ?
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: Here we go 19 Oct 2016 13:19 #296578

  • cordnoy
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Aryeh821 wrote on 14 Oct 2016 16:36:
So Should i go ahead with it ?

How many opinions do you want?
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If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
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