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This is my first try at 90 days

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: This is my first try at 90 days 3311 Views

This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 14:57 #279799

benAvram66 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 5 Karma: 0	Hi, everyone, This is my first try at attempting to get 90 days clean....I am a little nervous, and even scared that I won't be able to do it...I have relapsed so much that I wonder if I will ever be able to get even a few days. How has anyone dealt with this kind of thinking...? Or, what worked for you when you were first starting out on this 90 day journey?

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 15:03 #279800

gevura shebyesod
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Welcome!

Sometimes looking ahead that far can be too daunting and discouraging. Just deal with today.

Hatzlacha!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

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Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 15:04 #279801

Markz NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Welcome!! I don't think about 90 days (I just kept it to show that it can be done although I'm BH by 210+). Thinking too far can often cause us to stumble on things that are under our nose Whats under my nose? My watch Check the GPS solutions and only think about the next 90 minutes. Let me know how it goes my friend
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Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 15:19 #279804

cordnoy
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Mark, gevurah,

When you first started, did you think of the 90? I'm askin' that to myself as well.

B'hatzlachah to all.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

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Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 15:32 #279805

Markz NOW ONLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8259 Karma: 428	Yes I did i had a small plan before joining gye - the good night calendar (in my signature), and my ride began If there's no plan in place when begining the 90 day chart, it's still it's worth in gold, and I can explain why on this thread in a few days
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 15:35 #279807

gevura shebyesod
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I did, but I still had to deal with each challenge as it presented itself in that moment and not get hung up on "can I keep this up for so long". The 90 is a good motivator as a milestone to look forward to celebrate, but it's not all or nothing.

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 16:30 #279809

shlomo24 Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 2213 Karma: 135	Welcome! If motivation is what you need then the 90-day challenge may help you. I personally never thought that I would ever make 90 days so I never signed up for the chart. I have learnt to take it one day at a time and b"h I am sober for more than 6 months. Hatzlacha Raba.
	If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 17:10 #279817

daveko Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Junior Boarder Posts: 28 Karma: 0	Having people like in gye community is priceless. You really see how important it is to quit with gye. You get information, do not feel alone. It really helps.

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 17:42 #279818

cordnoy
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All I'm sayin' is that this is recurrin'.
Someone joins gye.
Announces he's startin' 90.
We bash him for thinkin' ahead.
I think we/I should allow them some slack.
There are times when the 90 is overdone, but in general, it is a good mile marker, not destination.

B'hatzlachah to all.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 18:30 #279826

realsimcha Current streak: 1 day OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 425 Karma: 22	Its really a tough thing to balance. The main thing cords, which you have said before, is that we should share what works or us not what we think others should do. We are not professionals [and if some of us are - that is not our role here]. We post. We share. Others get chizuk from connecting with our journey. We get chizuk from the journey of others.

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 19:45 #279835

Watson
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cordnoy wrote on 01 Mar 2016 15:19:

When you first started, did you think of the 90? I'm askin' that to myself as well.

Nu? What's your answer R' Cordnoy?

Personally when I started I counted in hours, sometimes minutes. I remember it being a real simcha by me the first time I got to 100 hours clean - I really didn't think I could.

The first time I went from kabolas shabbos to the next kabolas shabbos without acting out was oyoyoy gevaldig. I don't remember how long it took to get that, maybe a year or so. I had no contact with recovering people back then, and I wouldn't have listened to their advice if I had

. But it doesn't have to be that way. People who come here first are very lucky.

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Re: This is my first try at 90 days 01 Mar 2016 20:05 #279839

cordnoy
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Yes Doc.
I was into the countin'.
I went thru my old thread and saw the amount of days constantly showcased, and I was proud of the accomplishments.
Now, it has little meanin'.

In this paragraph, I was gonna comment on two different counts.....but I deleted it.

My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin

Warning: Spoiler!

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 02 Mar 2016 04:41 #279893

benAvram66
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Thanks...I struggle a lot with that all or nothing thinking...I think, if I fail, then why try if I can't get it right. I know, I know, this is crazy...my problem is that, I am sad that I keep letting Hashem down...I want so bad to get this right. I feel I have disappointed Hashem way too many times. He has down so much for me, and all I seem to give Him back is this horrible behavior. That is why I seem to want this to go right....I don't want to keep failing.

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 02 Mar 2016 04:46 #279894

benAvram66
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Thank you for reminding me that really all I have is just this moment...this next minute, this next hour.
My relapses in the past have always have come over me in a matter of seconds...it seems. Sometimes, right out of the blue...Those cravings were so strong that before I even knew it...I was out of control...in just a matter of seconds. Did it ever feel like you were being pushed right in front of a speeding train and were unable to save yourself? That is how fast it has always felt for me. Does that make any sense?

Re: This is my first try at 90 days 02 Mar 2016 04:50 #279895

benAvram66
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Thank you...I think this is the first time I don't feel so alone. It is a terrible thing to not be able to talk to anyone about this problem...Oy, I even have the most difficult time even bringing it up to my therapist or my really kind doctor. The shame is so crippling, the need to ask for help...up until now, was nearly impossible due to the stigma or shame that is associated with this type of thing. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone...it means so much.