Strength365 wrote on 15 Apr 2016 15:03:

If I may mix in, I would like to share how I'm counting for the last two years +
I first read the instructions and rules, and when I felt I was ready to stick to the rules I started.
In the beginning it wasn't easy at all, I was busy starting the chart then I had a fall then waited a day to start again, but with time I learned to keep longer strikes.
It takes time and work.

From my point of view, if your on the gye's 90 day chart then it should be done according the rules of gye and the rules are very clear.
If someone is scared to consider a real fall a fall, cause it will lead him to more falls, maybe the chart isn't yet for him .

I wish you hatzluche

Well, I've crashed and burned, Fallen down and every day pick my self up to fall a couple of hours later!!!!!!!

Its ridiculous

I've been there many times, most of us probably have. Immediately after the fall, when there's absolutely no tayvah, feeling bad and deciding to stop then when the urge comes back, falling again. Fall, stop, repeat.

Getting up for real is hard. The first few days are hard because what do we have to lose anyway? We'll get clean tomorrow...

There are different strategies for different stages in being clean. The first stage is the hardest. Posting is a good way to get out of your mind (which after a fall is not a place to be) and to get some chizzuk.

You need a plan to stay clean, for most people it isn't simply a matter of simpy deciding to stop.

There's a change in attitudes necessary. There are safeguards needed.

Get a pen and paper and write out what you're going to do to stay clean.

Back again,

After going through a major low, i'm back.

I have had very hard times in my personal life which brought on a new low in my addiction almost breaking a barrier i haven't yet broken,
I have recently had a good few days which hasn't happened in months!
However today i'm not feeling strong so have come here for some chizuk.

Strength365 wrote on 26 May 2016 13:43:

Sorry to hear about your recent difficult times
Some people are ok with continually crashing and burning and then having a few good days, and then recycling on this endless cycle. When they reach the point of complete cremation is when recovery may start, which doesn't sound like you've reached that point

Is that the chizuk you were looking for? 

Markz wrote on 06 Feb 2017 11:40:

That was more like mussar than chizuk, but i'll take anything i can get at the moment, just want to stay strong.

Stay strong. And post often! We're here to lend an ear.

welcome back,

 let's make things better.

B'hatzlachah

Strength365 wrote on 06 Feb 2017 10:26:

Welcome back. It's incredible how after a low you recharged your batteries and powered back on. Yidden have the special koach of hischadshus - both as a Nation and as individuals. Just like the moon which appears to disappear (excuse the pun) but then grows bright once more, we unlike any other nation, after a fall - get up, shake off the dust, and move on.    We all have low times and times we need each others support, chizuk, understanding, and maybe most of all - validation that we are normal. I personally had my eyes opened wide when I joined GYE and saw how many intelligent and respectable sounding people confide in each other and cry out in pain.    By coming back on and posting you are giving validation to so many of us who have also rode this roller coaster.   May Hashem give you much hatzlocha. Keep us updated. 

Hashem Help Me wrote on 06 Feb 2017 23:06:

II was personally amazed at how many Christians, atheists, Catholics came to SA meetings. They realized they were at or close to the bottom, and they understood that their life was a wreck and they needed change. We all together (in the basement of a church) thanked God for affordin' us this grand opportunity.

cordnoy wrote on 06 Feb 2017 23:27:


Unless there was a prior event, we usually got to sit upstairs in the church. Lucky us.

cordnoy wrote on 06 Feb 2017 23:27:

What I had written is the words of Chazal in many places. From medrash, gmora, meforshei hachumash, through sifrei machshava of all generations there are countless places where our chachomim point out the unique koach of hischadshus of Bnei Yisroel at the tzibbur and individual levels. Lehavdil, Mark Twain and many other famous writers wrote famous essays about the empires that came and went and now are only remembered in the dustbins of history. There is nary a person who even claims descent from the empires of Babylon, Greece, Persia, Egypt, Rome, Phoenicia, Mongolia, Aztec, Huns etc. etc. etc. Even residents of the countries who occupy the homelands of those nations feel no connection to those kingdoms that ruled large swathes of the world. Upon their destruction, there was no rebuilding, no revitalizing, and definitely no rebirth. Our Nation has revived itself from the dead more times that can be counted!
On the individual level there are of course stories of gentiles who stood up heroically to challenge. Be it physical handicap, emotional trauma, or other seemingly impossible issue, they have risen up and succeeded. However it is a small percentage of the general population. Lehavdil in our communities there is an extraordinary statistic of people reinvigorating themselves. There is an undeniable brocho Hashem gave us empowering us to do so. There is much written about Holocaust survivors baffling the studies of high strata psychologists in how so many of them rebuilt their lives, families, and former way of life - off the charts according to their statistics.
Of course we wish all people well and are thankful to those who have assisted those amongst us who are addicts by creating the steps and providing meeting places. However lets not mix up the facts.
As originally mentioned, "Strength 365" be proud of yourself and use your divinely granted gift of hischadshus to go meichayil el chayil!  

Nice speech.
You could have mentioned reb meir shapiro's famous vortI at the beilis blood libel caseI about אתם קרואין אדם.

This space had text on it several times but it was deleted.

Do you think because it's assur for us, porn and masturbation, that more people are "kicked" into recovery in relation to the gentile population?

Singularity wrote on 07 Feb 2017 09:14:

At the non addict level there is obviously a great difference between yidden and others. In the secular world, masturbating once in a while as a stress reliever is actually suggested by psychologists and educators. Similarly they dont have a major issue with a little porn here and there. Therefore many of us who just got in the bad habit of these things are doing everything possible to break out being that we dont want to continue doing issurim.