Hello everyone. So I'm joining the 90 day journey thing and it mentioned here that it would be a good idea to make a post on the forum so that I can link it to my chart, so here I go.

In short, I have no problem whatsoever (not even a hint) of keeping "clean" for a few weeks at a time. Then there's that one moment, every few weeks or so, when I find myself a lot more alone, and bam! That's when everything happens at once, the taava kicks in like mad and within two or three hours, after having "had my share" off the internet it's done with and I have to start all over again, (so to speak, of course).

NO matter what I have done in the past few years, the mekatreg has always managed to deflect my attempts. I moved away from home at some point, and Whatsapp was the only way to keep in touch, so my family bought for me a smartphone (didn't have one until then, and the problem then was still relatively minimal). The after about a year of "trouble" I decided to buy a regular phone. So I bought what I could afford, a second hand one. And discovered that it was locked. I went on trying to unlock it, calling the c ompany etc, but to no avail.

So I tried putting a filter on my phone. It worked for a while, but there was a weakness (where someone else held the password). And videogames always helped me stay preoccupied at the time (not going to get into too many details for privacy reasons), and inevitably drew be back down.

For my computer I tried to get a filter, but for other reasons that failed miserably as well.
And so on and so forth no matter what I tried it always failed (and just to mention, I have been always very busy and only rarely have had the time to actually do all these things, when I finally did do them).


In my childhood, there was open TV and open internet, and curiosity reigned with my parents ignoring signs of "trouble," so I've had this problem for a while. Only nowadays when I've grown up a bit I have discovered the seriousness of this issue and seem to have nothing to be able to do about it.

Even recently when I started finally paying for the VCF filter, the ONE TIME I actually needed it (the one time every few weeks), the filter stopped working for different reasons and it happened again!!!

So here I am again, a couple of days before that "one day" when I will be alone again and I'm desperate for assistance. I think I will try webchaver, only I'm not sure if it takes facebook into consideration, and I need facebook for work (as well as google images, one of the reasons for which vcf anyways doesn't help me much).

(Nowadays I have enabled a very strong, unequaled filter on my phone so I am fine there, Baruch Hashem, but my computer is still a problem).

I think also I will try and make sure to do my work in a more public setting in order to avoid danger.

If you actually read all that, kudos to you. May Hashem help us all succeed!

Good luck on your journey!! We're following behind! The fact that you keep on looking for new solutions shows that you really want to stop. Nothing stands befor a strong will! Hatzlocha and keep on posting! Btw did you read the gye handbook ??

Welcome - I read your story, but Kudos to YOU for joining us

There's a poll on the forum by Cordnoy - what's your main concern?. Check it out

It sounds to me as though "Trigger-Happy-Finger on Computer" is your only concern. If that's the case, the solutions in my story in the signature below may be enlightening

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!!

Thanks for the reply!

I looked over it briefly. I don't want to "lekarer" ("make cold") anyone here, so I'll just mention that this is only my personal perspective on things: the general approach that is taken here I don't necessarily agree with. It is very much "dealing with the bad" in such a way that mimeileh "promotes" it. Difficult to explain in a nutshell. However there are some very useful tools that I appreciate as being very useful and even irreplaceable. Again, I have no trouble keeping away for long periods of time. I just need help controlling the addiction during those "key-points."

When you say "promotes it", are you referring to that poll I mentioned?

I understand that fully, especially for someone that doesn't have a draw to lust 24hr / day like me...

Welcome,

Hope you find something that works here.
I know I did.

B'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:
Ill tell you one of the things I found that works here and it's called cordnoy!

He has a different life / story than me, but he's incredible!!!

Yaalzu wrote:


Hi Yaalzu,

Welcome to GYE.
Whatever tools you feel will work for you should be with hatzlocha.
the 90 day chart is a good choice. Hatzlocha with that too.

There are different tools on GYE for different levels of stuckness or addiction or whatever you prefer to call it.

Be sure to check out "The GYE Program" (link is below).
It has an "initial evaluation" tool to help you figure out the right tools for your level of the struggle.

Welcome. There are several tools and methods promoted here, and many have experienced progress in these matters. I don't know what you mean by "dealing with the bad," but in general, if you are struggling, it's best to try to keep an open mind.
May you have much Hatzlocha.

Yaalzu wrote:


I think Bigmoish referenced it below, but I think it's important to clarify- there are many ways and methods used by people on GYE. I understood from your post that you're saying that some of the methods hat are employed here deal too much with engaging the bad which ends up promoting it. If that's what you meant, many people here have pointed out that problem with certain approaches.

In fact, you will find that most of the experienced guys on the site will tell you NOT to get into the fight with the yetzer Hara and instead do things that avoid it entirely.

If you read through the stories in the signature of a guy called Markz, you will see that there are many people who've been successful, each with their own twist.

Hatzlacha!

Alright, so I looked over that response which is being quoted by everyone and I wanted to apologize, it really wasn't in place, very cold, and kind of pointless.

Thank you for the welcome, and you are all absolutely right, there are many ways offered for dealing with these issues. BE"H may we all succeed in reaching the one true path, however we might happen to get there.

So far so good as far as my "lonely day," so I'll have a full two months in no time.

I think that what caused me to fail in the past more than anything was the belief that I had gotten over it already. It sat in the back of my head that "an addiction always remains, and you always have to be wary," but somehow it didn't register as deeply as it should have. So I had a few months clean at one point without a worry at all, and then suddenly everything went baserk all at once.

Welcome.

So, not doing very well. At all. (With an emphasis).

Ever since I started up on GYE I developed an addiction, whereas beforehand I at least had very long breaks in between falls.

First problem: the saga continues with my failure at finding filtering solutions. Another one I tried made my computer inaccessible (eventually I succeeded in entering and deleted the problematic software).

I'm at a complete loss now, falling even twice a week sometimes. 

We're here to haul together

Have you installed a GPS on your truck yet (see below)

By GPS you mean the evaluation?

Yeah, that's what I meant by one of the first posts that I didn't agree with the methods. I've been through it. I really really don't want to sound obnoxious or anything of the sort, really, I simply haven't the time nor the patience to go through why those suggestions are certainly, definitely not in my courtyard. In fact hardly any of them are shayach in my situation for reasons I will not delve into.

The most practical suggestions themselves have failed me because, as I have stated, I simply cannot find a working filter for Windows 10.
Covenant Eyes nearly ruined my computer. VNF crashes my computer regularly, though I decided to take the leap and give it another try, bl"n.
K-9 simply is way too easy to uninstall.

And by now the computer isn't even the problem. Well at least for now; I know it starts from there, when I stop that completely then the other problems for sure will go away, something I know from experience.