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Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time...

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 41904 Views

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 15 Mar 2016 00:29 #281312

m58yiw84niym Current streak: 29 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 96 Karma: 5	New milestone: reached "4 circles" worth of posts on the forum! And 10 pages on this topic!
	Last Edit: 15 Mar 2016 00:30 by m58yiw84niym.

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 15 Mar 2016 02:56 #281318

Josephsbrother Current streak: 926 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Thank my Creator for His Loving Kindnesss Posts: 556 Karma: 15	m58yiw84niym wrote: New milestone: reached "4 circles" worth of posts on the forum! And 10 pages on this topic! Smile and clapping keep it up.
	Warning: Spoiler! Have a day of victory, Seek help from GYE friends, Review material available. Do not leave until you are inspired to be all you can be. I will daily seek my Maker, and as I do what is asked, I shall bless His name, and pray for another duty. Last Edit: 15 Mar 2016 02:59 by Josephsbrother. Reason: Correction

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 16 Mar 2016 02:37 #281432

m58yiw84niym Current streak: 29 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 96 Karma: 5

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 16 Mar 2016 21:52 #281535

m58yiw84niym Current streak: 29 days OFFLINE Expert Boarder Posts: 96 Karma: 5

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 16 Mar 2016 23:57 #281544

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8228 Karma: 426	Sleepwalking? Bumped your nose? Need a cane? כן כן כן תהיה לנו
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Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 17 Mar 2016 02:14 #281556

Yesod OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 827 Karma: 79	uh oh, that cant be good

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 18 Mar 2016 03:19 #281681

m58yiw84niym
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Yesod wrote on 17 Mar 2016 02:14:

uh oh, that cant be good

Yeah, it's terrible. My schedule is crazy, and I'm very much sleep deprived. But thank God still clean!

What I'm most upset (about myself) is that I know that all these tricks and techniques to fight against lust work really well, as I use them in other areas of my life (ODAAT, half measures, etc) to great success. Yet somehow, when it comes to this battle, it's so much more difficult to apply these tools...

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 18 Mar 2016 03:32 #281683

Yesod OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 827 Karma: 79	You mean using them in other areas of your life?

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 18 Mar 2016 03:59 #281689

thanks613
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m58yiw84niym wrote on 18 Mar 2016 03:19:

Yesod wrote on 17 Mar 2016 02:14:

uh oh, that cant be good

ODAAT?

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 18 Mar 2016 04:11 #281690

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Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 28 Mar 2016 01:49 #282701

m58yiw84niym
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So I haven't been here for close to 10 days, and while there may have been 1 or 2 "good" days it's been pretty tough. While maybe according to the technical letter of the law on what counts as a "fall" for me, I may still be "sober", I have been ridiculously close to the edge and hanging by a thread. I barely even know what to do anymore.

I'm almost telling myself "Maybe I should just act out once, masturbate quickly, and relieve the tension for the next couple of weeks so I can live a normal life. Granted, I know the urge will come back, but at least for a few weeks I won't be consumed by desire".

I just wish there was a way to just turn off this urge. I don't want it to ruin my life and my family.

Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 28 Mar 2016 01:59 #282704

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8228 Karma: 426	m58yiw84niym How did Purim go for you? How was Shabbos?
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Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 28 Mar 2016 04:01 #282718

cordnoy
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m58yiw84niym wrote on 28 Mar 2016 01:49:

There is.
There is not one way for each and every one of us though.
For many of us, it comes with a lot of effort and going where we aren't the most comfortable to be (and I'm not referring to physical places, but rather, decisions and actions somewhat out of our comfort zone).

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Re: Doing the 90-Days (again), but this time... 28 Mar 2016 05:11 #282722

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I would like to add to what cordy said: My experience was that the way I "turned off" the urge was by doing one thing. Letting go and letting god. B"h I haven't fought an urge in a long time. I just take a step back and let God do his work. If I fight then I will act out. Not necessarily because of losing, fighting itself just creates such an unrest inside me that I need to act out. My sobriety had been so pleasant and for me there is really no other way. I'd rather act out and not fight than be sober and fighting.

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