Hello, I'm now holding 2 days! Thanks gye!

Excellent - halavai viter, be"H.

I'm taking every hour as it comes, it's getting tough now that I'm home for pesach there are SO MANY triggers around is so hard to keep away and not let them start me...

That's great, 3 days is really 3 great things. Each day is real and alone. But they do not really 'add up', sorry. Time just flows - with or without you and me.

If it's getting harder as more days go on, then you are really just holding your breath...you will eventually pop. No worries. It's guaranteed by the pressure you'd be putting onto yourself by the 'adding up' of your 'progress' - kind of like holding breath for a full minute...it does not actually encourage one that they can now hold it for two, because they succeeded at holding it for on, does it? Nah...rather, they feel the tightness in the chest and know more clearly than ever that 'if this is the way I feel after one whole minute, I will be exploding after another one!" And they do, of course.

False encouragement you do not need, chaver.

So instead, I ask you this:

Instead of EVER thinking about the exciting triggers that are 'all around', always remind yourself about what you are home for.

Are you home to enjoy porn and masturbate since you are away from school or yeshivah anyhow, finally? Or are you home to do something else? Is your return home - in your heart - an opportunity for anything else than porn and porn struggles?

Really? Are you sure?

Good. If they are, then you can be preoccupied with real life rather than fantasy and BS. You will then have a good time there - and even if you screwed up once during the trip - you will be able to return to school or yeshivah without having to feel like crap as usual. That is much better, I say, than holding your breath the entire trip locked in an imaginary death-struggle between Teshuvah and the yetzer hora.

Relax and have a nice time. 'Distracting yourself from all the triggers everywhere' does not really work in the long run, or in the short run.

Getting engaged in real life is very different than distraction - and it works.

Sj, I'd encourage you to really take Dov's words to heart and to really spend time thinking about them over Pesach. I'd just like to add that my experience lately has been that I need to appreciate each day, and like Dov says, they really don't accumulate and time does flow. For me there is a balance because at a certain point understanding that time flows without me turned into the complacency that I will flow with time. Meaning I thought I was in cruise control, just flowing a long and I started looking at sobriety time in future weeks and months. In reality that was complacency. I only have today and that's God willing the only important thing to me right now.

Hope I'm not rambling.

Hatzlacha!

Thanks alot for that insight, dov. I hear the truth
In your words, where can I read more about it?

For me the most difficult time for me when it comes to acting out... Is at night, I sleep myself in the basement and it's hard to fall asleep and I feel that I have to keep fighting with my thoughts and pulls so as not to fall and that's where the rubber band just keeps getting tighter and tighter...

Any ideas of how not to keep twisting and survive???

Thanks for the support!
I really would like to learn more about how to
Appreciate each day and not look at it at time...
How does all this mean in regards to looking forward to 90 days?
Thanks again and Hatzlacha!

There is a wealth of information on this site.

Like cordnoy wrote.

And I PM'd you, besides.

Hi guys,
I wanted to share things that are on my mind...
I noticed that over Shabbos I became very inverted and had a hard time being so social and the like, the whole time I was in shul I felt like I needed to get out, I know I felt that I really needed to get online and do some more reading on the topic of sa and the 12 steps but it's the first time that I really had a hard time just being myself. Another thing I noticed is that I started becoming very resentful and I started to feel like why am I the one to suffer and why do I feel so isolated.

I really tried to be helpful today to improve my mood and attitude but it still seems to be dragging along... I have a friend that just got engaged and inside I feel so happy for him but I couldn't bring myself to go to his house to wish him mazal tov:-(

Anyone relates to this?
Sorry if it's coming across in a negative way, just letting out my feelings...

To leave off on a more positive note,
Ever since I implemented the taphsic method that usual urge that I used have feels like it went "offline" what I mean to say is that it doesn't pressure me like it used to, is like it understand that if it comes to close he might just have to pay and of money... It's still around but as long as I don't post w to much ATTN to him staying clean is a lot easier, thanks gye for this tremendous tool!

Hello guys, BH I'm doing pretty well with staying clean for the first time in a while!

Last night I discovered one of the voids that this addiction is trying to fill by me is: "self confidence"
I noticed that now that I'm clean and my mind is clearer I started to really feel insecure with myself, now comes the opportunity to finally start working on it!

Just needed to get that out...

Hello, it's been a long time since I last posted here. Alot has happened then, the past few weeks have been really hard and I just can't stay stopped. Tonight is the 3rd night in a row that I acted out, I'm feeling really desperate and just want to be free from this.
Please G-D take this challenge from me so that I may start living life the way normal people do.

Welcome back,

We feel for you.

What have you been doing the past six months?
What has worked ?
What hasn't?

Wishing you hatzlachah this time around

Welcome back
I'm introverted too - read the 'story' in my signature

What has worked for me is to post daily, and keeping busy. If not for those 2 and a few other tools, id be back in the cave ages

Hatzlacha you can be successful, Very! And it's not that hard