With the knowledge of markz, and with the knowledge of stillgoing, in the topics posted above and in the topics posted below, we allow the telling of jokes and expressions of humor, even by sinners aka participants in ThreadsThatWillNotBeMentioned.


The following is a public service announcement:

Due to increased demand, it has been decided that a new thread be opened for those posters who have nothing else to do with themselves other than sit on GYE and talk about their problems.

Please note: No bathroom / Toilet / Restroom jokes are allowed.*

We begin:

Two elderly ladies were in the car together. One says to the other, "You keep going through red lights!" And the other one goes, "Oh, am I driving?"


Harvey and George went golfing every Saturday for 50 years. One day Harvey returned home for the course looking spent.
"How was the round?" asked his wife.
"Terrible," he said. "George died on the eighth hole."
"Oh how awful!" she replied
"Tell me about it," Harvey said. "After that, it was hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George."
 
 



*We at Softcore follow the words of our senior posters with utmost devotion. The content of this post does not necessarily reflect the opinions of its author.

I'm blown away by your talent

Gye should give you a promotion

With permissions of Administrators, Moderators, Cordonators, and Like minded addicts - I herby proclaim my request to bump burshusi - Free 10 days jump on your 90 day count

  

markz wrote on 04 May 2016 01:30:

ODAAT




But I'll take it anyway.

stillgoing wrote on 04 May 2016 01:48:

I look forward to chapping all of your jokes, even those about portion sizes. 

Birshusi wrote on 04 May 2016 14:26:

I'm not sure if you are serious or not.
Cookie monster is clearly an addict. He'll do anything to get his drug. He may not be responsible for each cookie he eats since he really has very little bechira, but before all that when he was still going for his PHD (in addiction no less!) He could have turned down that first cookie. Or the second. He figured "i have time. No harm in trying everything once." But look where that led him. Leaning against Oscar the grouch's garbage can, begging.
Moral of the story - eat more chichen.
  

stillgoing wrote on 04 May 2016 17:57:

I actually chapped the portion joke and thought it was very funny.

Did you know it ended well for him? He's now sober, and goes by Veggie Monster, thanks to Guard Your Mouth.


EDIT: Hard to post pictures when your filter blocks image search.

 

Yea, the before and after picture on the guardyourmouth website is startling. 
Then, then came a time where he began to doubt if he actually Was an addict afterall.
 

After that he fully embraced his new life 
 
And together with his therapist 
 
They made great strides towards Ernie & Bert's whole foods store

 


But even now.. every so often.... in the middle of the night .....   

markz wrote on 04 May 2016 01:30:

מצא מין את מינו!

We are here to be open about our feelings, and it's especially gratifying to open up about things that you've struggled with for a long time, so...

Deep breath.

Here we go.

Because you're supposed to take them

Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 05 May 2016 22:00:

But if I'm an addict I'll do whatever it takes to get as many paper towels as I want. I'll just keep pulling and pulling till the whole stack is in my hands!!!!!!!

And what about the ones with really wide bottoms?!?!?!?! It's so easy to stick your hand in and grab all of them!!!!

HELP ME GYH PLEASE!!!!!!!!

OSAAT

And what about toilet paper... Oops wrong thread 

It's probably because if you could open them then you'd be able to refill them and the janitor wouldn't have a job to do. Then he'd get fired, go on welfare and be a burden on society. Enough burdens and the economy collapses. The economy collapses and the goverment gets overthrown. Chaos reigns, millions die.

Basically those locks are the only thing holding back from anarchy.

inastruggle wrote on 06 May 2016 00:10:

That's so beautiful. Thanks for your help.