Just come to my house tonight and watch what happens when there's one slice of Challa left

Eslaasos can you explain to me why לחם and מלחמה share the same shoresh

cordnoy wrote:


Cordnoy when you're back in custody - you'll be placed in a different cell with new reading material, and also this new post you've been assigned to

All others are free to post,
AT RISK OF LOSING ALL YOUR KARMAS ouch

As the founding member of this "dirty jokes" post I will be monitoring that this post doesn't get out of hand, cos if you do we have these ready for you

I only arrest guys that post dirty jokes

Apparently you don't have a clue what those are, so - you can drop your hands!

markz wrote:

You mean like this?

mggsbms wrote:


If you don't understand one of Cord's words, DON'T GOOGLE IT!

Bigmoish


Uhh, what about what Bigmoish writes, can I google opaX2t? (Unless you mean the kind of tea drunk by a german grandfather with two grandchildren...)

I totally agree with kedusha. Here's the best training schedule for you:

Year 1: Get healed. Therapy with Reb Shraga
Year 2: Help many others heal on GYE, while taking a course on how to be a professional counselor.
Year 3: Get paid by GYE to offer phone counseling
Year 4: Get promoted to GYE Admor
Year 5: Get rid of guard (hit men), and take over GYE (which by then will be a mulit-million dollar org.)
Year 6: Get help for PA (power addiction)  ;D

Beautiful Uri! Good to have you back.

So many people are "afraid of expression because they are afraid of failure" - as you so beautifully wrote. And so they don't express the beautiful thoughts inside them. And that's a shame. It is clear that you do not have this problem. And that's GOLD.

P.S. Everyone, when you discover your gold, please hand it over to GYE (like uri's doing!)

P.P.S. I did my homework Uri, but I'm afraid I messed it up. What will the world say to my failure? :-[

guard i do not have the tools to deal with issues like yours
its clear that you are beyond my help
see our therapists page over here www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Tips/Therapists.asp

Yeah....
But that wasn't what I was asking...

markz wrote:

markz wrote:


Sorry, just saw this. The way it's always gone is I ask questions, you give answers. I'm not qualified to switch roles. Maybe ask Cordnoy, it intrigues him and he's a bigger lamdan.

See, you gave the answer. Sources?

My sholom bayis story doesn't belong in a dirty joke thread

The entire thing is so funny..reminds me of that discussion earlier this week where there was a well-meaning fellow wishing that a 'bad enough' issur could be found to finally 'force' him to finally quit!
Hilarious, in a sad sort of way.
Yichud...
Wow, so 'powerful'.
Heh.

yes; when I heard that, I immediately threw out my computer, and placed the other one in my kids room, so there should be at least three people in there.
I also made sure that 'windows' was always open.
Does a mouse count to prevent yichud?

When I said that I will call a friend between breakfast and lunch, that is only if I eat breakfast, but if I skip breakfast, then I don't need to call...haha! Figured it out. And even if I do eat breakfast, in shulchan aruch it says that one needs pas shacharis, and there's a machlokes regarding cereal, and certainly if I only ate an egg, I didn't eat breakfast, so there! And on a day when I do wash and eat bread, perhaps it wasn't the shiur kedei seviah, but let us even say that I did eat breakfast, who says I will eat lunch, and that is a davar shelo ba l'oilam, and according to the bnei yissoschar's pshat in that, Tzu felt in gemirus daas, so lunch is not even in the equation, and of course if I don't intend on eatin' lunch, I don't need to call after breakfast, for the call would be prior to eatin' supper; and when that time comes around, I can say that I have no necessity to call, for I didn't eat lunch. And truth be told, even when I do eat breakfast and lunch, do I really need to call someone? As long as I bumped into a friend on the street, that is sufficient, for the tachlis was to avoid isolation, and lo and behold, I had a conversation with a friend. "Hello" and "good mornin'" count as well. And what happens if I call and he doesn't pick up? I called! And truthfully, even if I disconnect after one ring, hey! I did call! Is it my gesheft that he didn't respond. That is what the Heilige bashefa had in store for me! So there! Did I leave out anythin'? The Ribbono shel oilam has faith in special me that He gave me this nisayon, and at the same time, He gave me those precious tools to deal with 'em: I installed a filter on computer (which I can crack); I made a tapshik about clickin' on celebrities, especially cute 19 year olds, a tapshik about kosher movies, a tapshik about not so kosher ones (and there is no real way to get around these, unless of course I say five perakim of tehillim or help my wife with the groceries or change one diaper of shprintza yenta or shalom dov ber, or if I chazer the biur of the sfas emes why he disagrees with the keren orah in the sugya of dam shenishpach in the explanation of the rambam with the din of ya'asfenu); and I even made up to talk to two friends a day between meals.

So...in the words of my neighbor Lorde, [I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air]: "So there!"