Today has been designated by the U.N. as...



Go for it!

though i must say my international toilet day was a few days before, as you can tell from my choice of corniosity. but, that has passed (no pun intended), and i'm truly glad to leave it behind (no pun intended).

but... if you insist, let me tell you a story, i hope i am not pushing it (again, no pun intended):

So there was a treasure ship on its way back to port. About halfway there, it was approached by a pirate ship, skull and crossbones waving in the wind.
"Captain, captain, what do we do?" asked the first mate.
"First mate," said the captain, "go to my cabin, open my sea chest, and bring me my red shirt." The first mate did so.
Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to fight. So inspiring was he, in fact, that the pirate ship was repelled without casualties.
That night, the survivors had a great celebration. The first mate asked the captain the secret of his bright red shirt. "It's simple, first mate. If I am wounded, the blood does not show, and the crew continues to fight without fear." The first mate was moved by the captain"s bravery and consideration, his wisdom and leadership ability.
The next day, the lookout suddenly cried that ten ships of the enemy's armada were approaching!
"Captain, captain, this time there are ten of them, we are totally outnumbered. What do we do?"
Pale with fear, the captain commanded, "First mate.... bring me my brown pants!"

#gonna_burn _for_making_a_mockery_out_of_a_serious_thread

serenity wrote:


peloni almoni wrote:


serenity wrote:


The following user(s) said שרויפן דיר: Shmeichel

who is mom

markz wrote:

peloni almoni wrote:


those are all of my personalities laughing ... i think even mom is there

This is for International Lipstick Day whenever it's celebrated

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were applying their lipstick then they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. This was obviously causing problems for the custodial staff so the principal called a meeting with several girls from each class to discuss the problem. The meeting was held in one of the ladies bathrooms. The principal explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodial staff who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked a custodian to clean one of the mirrors as the girls watched. He took out a long-handled squeegee went to the nearest toilet dipped it then placed it on the mirror and began to clean it....

If someone Gd forbid has heart problems he goes to a cardiologist

If someone Gd forbid has lust problems he goes to a Cordiologist

You got my gist?

peloni almoni wrote:



Now this is funny.

Peloni Almoni, I would like to say mazal tov on your avatar gettign into the emails.
Keep these jokes and puns coming.

Shmuly Z

shmulyz18 wrote:


Peloni Almoni YOU ARE INCREDIBLE

I see now that your current avatar image is being used extensively by guardyoureyes!!!!!