Hi Rav GYE,
Hi people,

My question is more halachic. I have the possibility to start a psychological treatment (not necessarily related with lust addiction) very cheap, but the condition is that the psychologist will be a woman. Am I, as a single bachur, allowed to start this treatment.

Hope to hear from you.

kadosh wrote on 08 Feb 2010 22:01:


Hello, Kadosh.  Are we related by any chance?

This sounds like a question for a Posek, who will take your individual circumstances into account.

..............and every so often GYE sees the blends of rage................starts off telling you to ask a possek and ends off answering your question. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Pratical concerns

-Will she feed your lust?
-Will you have to speak with her about intimate matters? see lust 101
-Therapy can get intense, personal and build a kesher - see lust 101?
----
-Yichud! (could possibly be solved)

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Halachically, besides for lust & yichud (!) I mean, you can see a female doctor - heck, people here have been helped by female addiction therapists; but the shaalos above are the big problem

Also beware of "cheap" therapist...now, one who gives you a break is fine, but the guy who takes 50% less then his peers...you have to wonder why

BTW your SA will play a major role in the 'other things', it is always a powerfull factor in these areas. And I don't see how you can feel comfortable staring a woman in the face and talking about what type of p___ you look at, and what you 'busy yourself with' at that time.  All those questions will be asked, and it just doesn't sound like a good idea, even in you get a pask that there is no issur in it. 

I'll send you the contact info of a frum male, phycologist, he teaches in a seminary, and I forget if he ever got smicha, so i guess he knows his torah also. He may not deal with addictions in particular, but if that isn't your primary issue, he's great.  He is also VERY accomodating with price, among his other chesed shebo. You can call him in-between sessions, for free, and call him whenever you can reach him.

Do you mean meeting a Psychologist woman in person, or on the phone (like Zeva's conference, which is starting next week)?

In person, I think Kanesher's "practical concerns" should be taken into account.

FYI: To ask an anonymous halachic question on-line, see this page.

I had this Shayla recently...

If there is no specific reason to use this woman, then just from one buddy to another don't do it. Therapy can be intimate and the possibility of attraction is real. I tell you, it is no fun to get into this kind of complicated mess...

If there is a good reason to use specifically this therapist then a Shaila must be asked (Although it has to be presented with the full full background info...)

If you do end up using her, from brother to brother, keep it very professional...

P.s. under certain circumstances a Rov may permit it (As in my case...)

Love and Peace my holy holy bro...

G-d smiles on us little guys down here doing all we can to be holy...
I think he loves us... I mean who else does this?
Mi Ke'amcha Yisroel.......
You are holy my friend....

trying123 wrote on 25 Feb 2010 11:46:


The heilige Barditchever is dancing in shamayim

trying123 wrote on 25 Feb 2010 11:46:


I just asked, and turns out you are right.

;D

Another issue is, if you are not married you might focus on your relationship with your therapist & not on the therapy, & you will loose focus of your goal, that's even if you are not experiencing any tavos towards her,

beside having tavos a man likes a relationship with women, & you will be dependent on her approval & will try to impress her, & try to make her love you, which is bichlal not helpful if you are seeing her because of therapy
A therapist cannot be a girlfriend or like a mother-son relationship

I see one.

Me too

markz wrote:


Durin' fantasy mode, she is not excluded.

Durin' sobriety mode, she is not a detriment.

Do I look at her too much durin' session? I'd be lyin' if I'd say no.