I Don't think that's the only issue. I was also thinking when I was introduced to GYE, why isn't everyone talking about this, we have a big problem, here is a potential solution, lets get going! But there is also the exposing people who were never exposed and I think that our gedolei yisroel (who know our problem for the most part) feel that we still need to keep those people sheltered. This obviously complicates things, as you would have to find a venue that serves only people already exposed, obvously a Melava Malka for sex addicts would be uncomfortable to attend (the stigma issue). 

From what it seems, at this point, Mechanchim an Rabonim do refer people to GYE. 

May everyone get the help that they need. 

wilnevergiveup wrote on 04 Mar 2020 05:19:

Mechanchim an Rabonim can refer people to GYE, but as long they are hiding their own issues and struggles from their own students, the topic will stay a secret.
We are in a generation that everyone is struggling, but no one is ready to get up and talk about it publicly. 
I would like to hear of michanchim who share with their students the way they overcome their struggles.

Whether we like it or not, before we discuss how much others should share their personal lives, we need to look in the mirror, remove the corona face mask and ask ourselves - have I disclosed my struggles honestly and sufficiently to my Rav / Therapist / Chaver...

I can assure you that if all the gye members ourselves would stand up to the plate, it would likely help significantly remove the stigma

GYE had a convention in Israel, how many of us would be ready to stand up to the podium to share our story?
Its a tough issue

#GdSaveUsFromaVirus

Dave M, in response: In "real life" I am very careful with language. After all, our ability to speak is what elevates us from the animal kingdom. The mouth must be kept pristine. However on GYE I found that our hesitance in being open and blunt did not come from a holy place, rather from either fear of the "monster", or from denial. I suffered from both. The challenge became an anxiety producing, larger than life, monster. It would be impossible to stop or exercise any control. It was as if the eiver had a mind of its own. Sometimes I wanted to just cut it off. I was angry at it, and boy was I scared of it. I would have to hide erections!  It became a separate entity from me, and it was calling the shots. Secondly, denial - how could I, a frum guy, talk about masturbation? How could I share those erotic urges I had. No, they must be shoved into a dark closet somewhere where they don't exist - until of course I plotzed and acted out big time. It took me a long time to be able to even write, let alone say," I masturbated" or "I watched pornography/sex". The closest I would get would be to write/say "It happened".  Then I graduated to writing m**** or p**** . BH I realized that for my refuas hanefesh I had to write and say the words, knowing exactly what I was admitting to and knowing that it was not larger than life. My eiver is part of me and controlled by my brain. So Dave M, I agree. I wish I could get up in every shul and openly bluntly and beneficially talk about the challenges we all have and be living proof that b'ezras Hashem there is hope. We can stop doing aveiros and we can stop being so tzubrochen. But so far, without gedolei Yisroel instructing otherwise, we have to satisfy ourselves with speaking b'derech remez, convincing rebbeim (including chosson rebbeim) to allow people to comfortably bring up the subject, and privately, one by one help whoever we can. Truth to be told, even if a ho'ra'as sha'ah was made to have public discussions, most of us would hesitate being that open. Hey, we have kids to marry off iyh in the right time.....

Markz, your right, we should open up, but to people who understand addiction. Not to Rabbis who would look down on me after I took the courage to open up to them.

I think we have to write a GYE kina for Corona. 

BH progress! Just passed one of my biggest triggers from the past successfully. I just returned from Slichos. I daven in a shul that attracts a very large crowd for the first night of Slichos. It is a very intense matzav. Usually the tension that it causes triggers me immensely. I used to panic when Slichos arrived. This year BH there was barely a whisper. 

Chaverim, two points everyone should know:

1. As strange as it sounds, the Yomim Tovim can be triggers. Specifically for anxiety driven guys like me the intensity of these days/ lengt of davening, coupled with the lack of the usual daily structure and with the guilt feelings that these days often bring ("my teshuva, torah, tefillah, etc are not the way they should be"), i often have a harder time during this holy time of the year than usual. It is amazing how many times Motzai Yom Kippur was an intense acting out time. I just had to release all that stress.

2. With some retraining of thought processes, one can break out of this pattern. 

Hatzlocha and a Ksiva V'chasima tove to all

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to this very much. What do you suggest is an appropriate mindset so as not to turn Yomim Tovim into triggers? 

] wrote:

I will answer your question, but please accept what i write as simply the opinion of a nice simple guy, not anywhere resembling daas Torah:

First of all ACCEPT YOURSELF. If the matzav becomes intense and you feel anxiety building, don't panic. You are normal and are experiencing something many people struggle with. At appropriate times allow yourself a break. 
Secondly, if you are like me, learn to stop using cheshbon hanefesh to destroy yourself. If you are prone to any depressive tendencies and/or perfectionism, realize that it is not avodas Hashem to bet yourself up for every brocho you did not have kavana for, or for every minute you did not learn.
Thirdly, plan a beautiful yom tov. Some nice pleasant things to say by the seuda. Instead of focusing on your personal issues and kabalos, focus on coronating the King (which in truth is the true avoda of Rosh Hashana). Imagine how you can be marbeh kvod shomayim.  Yes there are tefillos like Unesaneh Tokef, but most tefillos are about the Melech, and even the Great Judgement is about meluchah.