Hi,
As I mentioned in my main thread (on the way... again) I want to review my journey and the tools and ideas that I have found helpful. 
I want to start with "Tracking", keeping a running daily journal of whether I had a fall or not was tremendously helpful for me. It helped me appreciate everydays victory by recording it. It also allowed me to recognize patterns that showed me where and when I tended to struggle (night time was a biggie).
More on this coming next week Iy"H

OK, here goes the first real week of this thread,
I know I wrote before that I started with tracking but looking back it was a few different tools all packaged together in how I tracked.
When I first started out I had this neat little calendar that I kept on my nightstand and during the day it was in my jacket pocket. Every day I would put a check or and X in the calendar based on whether I had a fall. Even if it wasn't a fall, if I had a hard day with lots of urges I would note that as well, becoming a mini journal of sorts. I found this made it real for me that I was actually working to become clean because I could see it visually in front of me, "I have been clean for 5/10/20 days." On the first page of the calendar I put a post it note, and wrote on it my flight plan, reasons for change and strategies that I planned on using, I would look at this everyday in the morning and at night, This really helped me drive in the big "Why". One last part of the calendar was noting ahead different milestones, when I would hit 3 days clean, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, a month and so on until 90 days and noting what incentive I would get myself when I made it. There was the benefit that it helped me visualize how close I was to the next milestone and the incentive more than just having it in mind, at the same time there was a large feeling of let down when I would have to cross them all out and rewrite it after a fall. I think what would have been better would be to have another counter going that focuses on cumulative clean days which is never reset, thereby lowering the down feeling. Not sure how well it would have worked. L'maaseh this is what I did and I feel that it was very helpful in the beginning, later in my journey it was not such a focus, but still provided a good check in system, especially since I didn't have regular access to GYE to do the daily check in.
Thanks all for reading, please feel free to chime in with comments on how to make these tools better for the future and with your own ideas!

Been a few weeks but better late then never,
having accountability. I set up to text a rebbe every morning, I would also text him before and after challenging situations.

again better late than never,
Going through the F2F program, but taking notes along with it. I had trouble having the discipline to do all the exercises but found that taking notes helped a lot. Also is helpful to go back through it again. It really helped me feel like I was on a program and had a path to follow.

Getting more sleep, this is a huge aspect of my staying clean. When I'm tired I get upset and when I'm upset I get lonely, that leads to p and m. So getting 7-8 hours every night was and still is a bedrock of my strategy. I BH have kids who like to wake up in the middle of the night and early in the am, so I r realized the only way to get more sleep was go to sleep earlier. I cut out night Seder and stated going to sleep at 9:30. Literally changed how I felt very quickly. I also no longer need coffee top function, and I've found when I'm hopped up in caffeine I feel stressed, so it helped me feel generally relaxed.

hopefulposek wrote on 09 Dec 2024 13:48:

This guy is finally gonna become a posek. 
Another win for GYE!

Was on the vaad today and someone asked what I do during the urge that helps, and it got me thinking I should update this thread.
2 Thoughts I found super helpful during an urge:
1) I don't need porn/lust/sex to be happy and survive. I can find happiness without numbing agents.
2) When the urge is coming from emotional turmoil: These feelings will not last, they will subside. I can work on them. The general emotional struggle may exist tomorrow, but I can work on that. But this storm which is threatening to throw me overboard will not last, relax distract and wait 20 minutes. Connect to people, even not about the struggle. It especially helps me to connect to someone who is not a close friend to show that I have connections even beyond my daled amos.
Stay Happy Everyone!