Had a really bad day today. I feel like it's gonna get worse even though it's already night. Tons of things just not going my way.

Baruch Hashem I am doing good overall and tomorrow will be another day, hopefully better. I am actually surprised at how I am reacting in a positive light even though my body feels so drained and negative. 

I have too many good things in life to be bitter, i just hope there's a reason for today happening like it did bc all I can tell is that it was just a test from Hashem to see how I would react.

Keep on Trucking, One DayAt A Time!!

Just went through your thread beginning to end.
I wish when I was your age (ha i feel old) I was anything like you!
Youre so strong! Going for so long clean! Simply incredible!
Thank you for being an inspiration for all of us

    I have so much going on right now that I feel as if im just struggling to stay afloat. Baruch Hashem I am almost through this tekufa but it will come around again.
     Been burnt out for a long while and hope the summer can rejuvenate me. Had very low motivation yesterday but I've forced myself through and Baruch Hashem after mariv I got great news that helped boost me a bit. 
    I just want a break and have to push another day to get there. Even though its almost over I still am struggling. My brain just wants to lower its gaurd and look at women but I have Baruch Hashem kept myself in check for the most part even though it ain't easy.
    
Does anyone have any great questions to ask ones self before marriage and any direction on how to answer them. I am trying to prepare for shidduchim which also is hard during this time but I am actually motivated to work on it now.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

I had a huge win imho on Friday.

Was in that lucid conscious state just before waking up and I noticed my brain was fantasizing. I only notice what was happening because this has happened before and before it became a full wet dream I somehow pulled back and woke up.
I am really not sure how I did this but Baruch Hashem I did because I remember how I felt the last time it happened, and the knowledge that I pulled back gave me a lot of chizuk!

Baruch Hashem my current situation in life is going amazing and I sometimes can't even believe all that I have accomplished and sometimes have to step back and realize all the amazing things that I am fortunate to have right now.

Have a wonderful Yom Tov!!

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

(I just checked and today is apparently day 412 no masturbation and day 517 no porn)

jewizard21 wrote on 01 Jun 2025 14:28:

You are a huge inspiration Brother!

Hey everyone, I have some amazing news!

Baruch Hashem I am Engaged!!

Thank you to everyone who has helped me along my journey and hopefully will continue helping me.
I wont be sharing details out of privacy but I can definitely tell you that a huge part of the reason I am marrying my Kallah is due to challenges I have faced throughout my life, and how I have overcome them. As you may have gathered from my previous posts, one of my driving factors in overcoming this nisoyon was for my future wife and children. This may seem like a goal that only comes to fruition after getting married but it really changes who you marry and how your marriage will be.
No doubt about it I would be in a totally different place if I hadn't started working on myself and eventually seeking help from a rebbe, I can truly see how clear it is that Hashem was directing me and helping me on the path to be there for my Kallah as I am today.

Keep on Trucking, One Day At A Time!!

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy for you!!!!!!! Though we haven't (yet) gotten to know each other, I've "gotten to know you" through your journaling - seeing your amazing shteiging throughout your journey.

KOMT and MAZEL TOV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Muttel

MAZEL TOV!!! Jewizard21 and jewitch21 should have many happy healthy years together bikdisha ubitaharah and be a conduit for the geiloiy shechinah in this world!!    Simches by all!!!

Nowhere'sa simcha I can feel. MAZEL TOV!! 

מזל טוב!!!! 

Huge Mazel Tov!!! Your Simcha is amplified many times over because of the fact that you dealt with, and cleaned up before you got engaged. You can go in to your marriage with a light heart, knowing that you're not hiding anything from her. May you be זוכה to build a beautiful, harmonious home, filled with true love, joy and serenity, and let it be a בית נאמן בישראל!

jewizard21 wrote on 21 Apr 2024 22:06:

Wow, im so inspired. I'm literally crying together with you while reading this.

Almost fell over shabbos. Baruch Hashem I did not!!



Doing good now but emotions are high bc obvious reasons. I let fantasies take over because I was So tiered of holding back my thoughts and desires that have been constant recently. 

BH i got out of bed from my shabbos nap and went to a more public location. I realized that shabbos naps in bed are a trigger for me.

Its 100% worth it that I didn't give in!



Thank you Hashem!



Keep on Trucking, On Day At A Time!!

I noticed years ago, that was my time to fall. So I stopped going to sleep in my bed on Shabbos afternoon. You gotta be smart, stay away from dangerous situations... And Daven!

We're looking forward to hearing that you got married!!!

Let us know!!